In a divorce that involves children...?

Question

Whose needs are put first, those of the parent or those of the children? Assume there is no violence in any of the relationships.

This is for academic discussion only, any resemblance to actual people or relationships is purely coincidence.
Thank you in advance for your contributions.

Answer 1

The children's emotional, physical, physiological, and spiritual needs should always be put first above the adult's.

Answer 2

I think it's every parents job to protect their children from anything that can be harmful. Seeing the parents bash each other isn't going to be good for them at all. I know from personal experience.
I think that the parents should, in the presence of their children, act as civil to each other as possible. Even if there isn't physical violence, the mental aspect can take just as big of toll or more on the young minds.
It's a stressful time on all already and anything the parents can do to ease the pain, tension, whatever should be done. Seeing my parents go through a nasty divorce affected my grades, attitude, self-esteem. All critical points in a young persons life.
When my son's father and I split I know I wanted to try and remain friends. It may not have worked out right away, but with work, we have now gotten to the point where we can be in the same room and speak friendly. Same goes with my parents.
I believe this is the best way to go about divorce issues and children.

Answer 3

The courts will always put the needs of the children first and foremost above all rest. Its called "in the best interest of the children" in court. This is extremely apparent when it comes to the Judgehanding down child support awards. The Judge doesnt care how much of a financial burden is placed on dads, or where the money comes from, just as long as it is paid monthly and the child is taken care of. Everything in a divorce with children is first considered to whats in the best interest of the children, long before the interests of the parents is even considered. Hope this helps

Answer 4

Needs of the children come first and foremost, however the parents also need to look after themselves. I'm a divorcee, and have been for 10 years now, with 2 kids now teenagers. I put their needs first which helped me stay strong, but I didn't forget that I needed time to grieve the loss of my marriage. Thank god I had wonderful parents who babysat a lot at the time so I could work out my own thoughts, emotions, etc. So, although I put all my effort into making sure my children were happy and healthy without their father there to help, I still put my needs up there right behind theirs.

Answer 5

Your question contains a faulty premise. In a divorce that involves children, the perceived needs of the parents ARE being put first, by definition. If the parents were putting the needs of the children first, they wouldn't be getting a divorce.

Answer 6

Ideally the children would be put first. Unfortunately in the real world it tends to be the needs and wants of the adults.
That is why I think in every divorce the children should be given their own attorney, to ensure that bitter parents don't damage the child just to get one last stab at their ex.

Answer 7

Although people pay a lot of lip service to the needs of the children, divorce serves the needs of one or both parents.

Answer 8

The Childrens need should be put first. There will be certain issues where the adults needs have to come first to resolve the issues. But, whenever possible, the children come first.

Answer 9

The needs of the children of course-and what is thier best interest-Its unfortunate in a divorce the couple are so mad at each other that they use the kids to get back at each other-the kids then suffer-

Answer 10

Parents and children are both important.
Divorce is wrong and should not happen but it does.
Therefore its all about finding the perfect balance with the less damage for all parties.....and thats not easy because Divorce does cause damage...but you cant control perhaps how much damage it will do.