Is it right to have children?

Question

Do you think it is fair to have a child?

I wonder if having a child isn't simply an egotistical act. Pure narcissism. What benefit is there in life?

By giving them life we inflict social and genetic failings on them, what Grace is there in that? Am I being purely pessimistic here?

Maybe if, in the days before contraception, monks and nuns were encouraged to practise celibacy, not because sex is bad but more because the act of bringing children into the world was and is an act of the highest selfishness and cruelty.

Answer 1

So sorry you feel that way.
My children (1 teenager, and new triplets) are the very light of my life.

Didn't you ever hear that 'A baby is God's opinion that life should go on"?

Answer 2

I dont understand. Im sure plenty of people are not having children because they are selfish. This is just one of those things that living things do: procreate.
If people stopped having children, then the human race would die out, and I suppose that would mean that the human design isnt very good at survival...
But its rather funny, that human beings can actually pause and wonder such things such as whether to have children, rather than simply doing it like most animals.
Sometimes I feel liek I should have children, its like an obligation for me to, because i happen to be a genetic masterpeice. OK thats narcissism. But i dont really want to have children, because I dont really care to have that responsibility. Thats also narcisissm. I guess im just doomed to be a selfish bastard whatever I do. Ill flip a coin over it.
I knew a guy, who happened to survive Auschwitz, and man he was very happy when a new child was born in his familly. I never saw anyone as happy as him. And this is obviously a kind of thing much deeper than narcisism, right? u can appreciate his love of life as something very deep and meaningful. Right?

Answer 3

in the world we live in today your point of view is actually justified. however, there are many factors that play a role here. for instance, people who dont have the financial capability, security, morals... shouldnt consider bringing a child into this world. if two people have all the resources to raise a child then it is justified. if we all stop reproducing then the world will end sooner or later thus reproduction is an act of survival for the human race. it is evident that most corrupt people became that way because of their childhood which means that childhood should be focused on more than anything. there are others things that u cant help such as society (wars, peer pressure, death, acceptance, fitting in....) but if u raise a child right then these factors will have less of a negative effect on the child. in Palestine for example, women give birth to 7 to 10 children even though most of them cant afford to do that. but they do it anyway because they know that 5 out of the 7 will end up dead. it sounds justified but it isnt. if u know ur child will end up dead then why torture him/her? but then again, if they dont do that then soon there will be a lot less palestinians palestine or israel...

Answer 4

What is wrong with human selfishness?

Selfishness is what drives us to better ourselves. We desire actualization, being happy, living fulfilled lives.

Selfishness is what drives us to fall in love. What is the first word in the phrase "I love you"? If love is selfless, then does this phrase make sense: "I don't have any feelings for you, I derive no pleasure from being together, this relationship is a sacrifice I am making for the good of society."

Selfishness is what drives people to go to work. They want their paycheck, they want the gratification of a job well done.

Selfishness is what drives people to vote. They want a politician who will represent their needs.

Having children is a spiritually fulfilling endeavor. It is two people coming together to create life where before there was none. there is no sea of souls where making a baby is to pluck one from the sea, to have children is to create something from nothing, to grant consciousness to something that doesn't exist. What greater gift can their be?

Sure we give them the failings of life. But that is simply seeing the glass half-empty. We also give to them the joys of life: love, happiness, liberty.

There is always grey area, such as poor single women who have children and people who want their children to share their genetic (good or ill) traits, but that is a thin film of grey in an otherwise black and white issue: most people in the west are middle class, and live happy, fulfilled lives, and their children will live and thrive in the most prosperous era in human history.

By the way, celibacy is the act of remaining unmarried. You're thinking of the term Abstinence, which is to refrain from sex. They did that because the philosophical Augustinian Christians of the dark ages believed that any physical pleasure was sinful, because it distracted people from their faith in God and the rewards of the hereafter. That's why monks and nuns also wore horsehair tunics, used big rocks for pillows, drank muddy water, and threw dust on their food. In particular, sex was regarded as wholly noxious in its sinfulness. The sole purpose of sex was strictly for procreation. The simple act of being naked, even if you were alone, was considered a sin. This is why dark age christians only took a single bath a year.

Thankfully, most modern christians are not Augustinians.

Answer 5

It is true and acceptable that it is God who gives conception. Therefore having a child is definitely fair.

Marriage on the other-hand is extremely honorable and surely it gives the child two great guardians and a great amount of security.

Someone has aptly done the abbreviation of the word FAMILY - Father And Mother I Love You.

Working with orphans I have realized that God will judge whore-mongers and adulterers. There is so much cruelty in this world because of sin. I urge all of us should seek God before we die.

Bringing up a child is a beautiful responsibility. To train up a child in the things of God is the duty of each parent. Child requires good examples which s/he finds in each parent and parent's friend circle. Later during harsh waves of life the child will do as taught and be benefitted.

Celibacy is not for all. Definitely not for people having strong desires. It is good for each one to have a spouse for oneself. Woe to him that is alone when he falls.

Answer 6

Well, it's the continuum of life. If we all stop reproducing, we'd soon be extinct. Most of us want to pass along something of ourselves, our genes, our knowledge, our ideas, heritage, and stories. In the West, we are almost achieving zero population growth while other cultures and people just scoff at the idea.

If you actually look at a couple with a newborn, how can you say that they are selfish? Two people who got married, and made sure that their child would have a good future. And that child has every right to exist as you and I.

Answer 7

Are you nuts...we have children for a couple reasons (atleast the right reasons) to keep our family tree going....and to keep the human race going! We don't inflict anything on our newborn but life itself...it is the parenthood factor that then comes into play. If your a good parent than all is fine...if your not...than you should have children...and how can we evolve and change our surroundings if not for the future and our children. The world isn't perfect but it is and we need to keep our breed alive....you sound like you need prozac! Or talk to a good doctor....depression is a mother!

Answer 8

I wonder how many thousands of years people have been saying that. Just because you aren't having a good time you still don't have a right to rain on everyone elses parade. You sound depressed. Maybe this a issue you need to address.Open the curtains, turn on some music, and try to participate in trying to make this planet a better place for everyone.

Answer 9

As human beings we are pre-programmed to reproduce. Personally, I feel that my two children are not only a source of joy to all who know them, but an as yet untapped, unsullied source of great talents and creativity from which the world as a whole can only benefit.

Answer 10

oh booooy you sure have a misconception of having children..

So you think we need to annihilate the human race? I don't see any logic in your thoughts.

Babys are the sign from God that the world is still worth new life.