Help. I don't know how to deal with my Evil X husband. I feel that my health is being compermised by his ??

Question

.....as he said.....his"punishment of me for leaving him"
My health mental and physical is shot. I can't get away from him. My kids hate him and now they are letting the grandkids see him. To me it is like sending the little ones over to the dark side. One of my son's killed himself because of his dad. That is how sociopathic my X is. I can't trust again , I can't love again. I can't work because I am so distraught. I fear he is capable of killing me. I see things on TV about murder and I think geesh he could and maybe would do that to me.
Help?

Answer 1

oh boy.......get some counseling
It sounds like it is a good thing you are divorced from him.

Answer 2

My gosh, sugar, but you certainly have a lot to contend with in your life and it's quite obvious you are bringing a lot of it upon yourself...you really are...!

I am sure you speak with feelings but I am not sure you read into what you speak...!

Understandably so, some divorces end while the games of war continue. Naturally, you cannot forgive him for his vile remarks and he will continue so if you express yourself as he does whether directly to him, your children or their children. It would seem two people have to grow up here and end the war before unknowing children become victim to adult inadequasies and vengeful antics.

You have said your children hate him while yet they allow their children visitations with him. Perhaps you should talk to your children and find out what they know that you don't know. Even if your opinion means nothing to them, you will at least learn the reasons why.

For a child to take his own life relative to behavior of a parent it certainly would not have been an overnight decision but one that was worked up to over a period of time. This would constitute child abuse and I would ask you why was nothing done to correct the situation before the child took his own life...?

You say you cannot work when in reality you do not want to work. You are making yourself a nervous wreck of fantasies and delusions of danger for yourself and are risking losing contact with your own children and grandchildren while believing yourself.

Your children are old enough to make their own decisions and you should have no influence on what they decide for in their lives if they do not ask for it.

You don't need anyone to listen to your side of the story and express compassion, sugar, you really need to listen to yourself and realize what you are doing to destroy yourself and your family.

Talk to your ex and declare a peace. Then tell your children you have a truce with their father and are wanting to make things work out best for all concerned.

If he abuses a child even slightly, the children will know and they will take the necessary steps at that time. If you take your negative attitude to the police and they find nothing wrong then don't expect them to show up when something really is wrong.

Do what is right, sugar, go to work and worry less about things you cannot control. Just gain control of yourself and keep a tight lip with wide eyes.

Good luck !

Answer 3

You need to get back the control over your life - don't reply to his calls anymore, don't open the doors, when he visits you. Try to get a restraining order against him - and get counseling to heal, but those counselors might be able to give you better advice, too. I live in Europe and don't know exactly, what sources you have available, but they might be able to hook you up with lawyers and the like.

As hard as it sounds, you can't help your grown up kids and your grandkids in your current state of mind, unless you suspect him on abuse of the grandchildren. If you think, that he's abusing them, you should report him.

Answer 4

You're letting him get to you which is exactly what he wants. Who has control over your life, you or the ex?