How do you respond when a friend's loved one dies?

Question

A colleague and friend's father died. Me and my coworkers sent her flowers and a card that we all signed. For this question, I'm thinking about what I should say. This is a close friend, and me and her have been talking about dating for the last month or so. Anyway, I'm Christian and she's not, yet she's always interested in asking me about my religion. I'm no theologian though, so I don't know what I'll say if she asks me about death and what I believe. How should I handle this conversation if and when it happens? I want to say something that will make her see that I feel for her, however I don't know how I could handle a religiously based question.

Answer 1

I have had death in my family and Please don't ever say......."they are in a better Place" or "it was their time" or "They were so wonderful that God wanted them home"
This stuff might be true, but when a loved one dies NO ONE wants to hear stuff like that.

The best thing to say sometimes is......"I am so sorry" and hug them or another good thing to say is "I don't know what to say, this must be a very difficult loss" Or the better thing to say Is. "I don't know what to say"

The worst thing to do is to act like it didn't happen. Or a week later not mention anything. Sometimes people want to talk about the one they loss. Maybe say........."Tell me something about your mom (0r whoever)

I lost a child and it hurts when people just pretend it didn't happen or that now that the funeral is over no one mentions him again.

Concerning your faith. I am a Christian. Your frind might be too.........but not in the sense that you and I think of it. Please don't make your freind feel that their loved one is in hell.
None of us can ever know what is in someones heart. And God the only one who can judge knows what people are or arn't accountable for knowledge or whatever.

It is best when it comes to religion to know that God is a loving gracious creator. And that eternity is a gift to us and that although the bible talks about life eternal, none of us truely know what myseteries are ahead of us becasue if God could create this universe there just has to be wonders for us to behold once we are there.

How to handle a religoiusly based question? Say a a quick prayer and ask God to give you the words. He will. And you will do well.

Answer 2

well lets take it one step at a time
first : how to show her that u care... personaly i believe that in these situations one usualy needs someone to be there for him or her, no need to do gr8 things, just check up on here every now and then, be a good listener, try to do something that would get her out of the bad mood

second: about the relegion thing, i dont think it has anything to do with relegion,. i mean the subject it self, but if by any chance she asked u , i think u have 2 ways, either to answer but in accordance to what u know, (which maynot be very relegious)
or u can start to get to know more about this part in your relegion, and so u can answer her whenever she asks

Answer 3

As a Christian, you were taught to believe that there is a better place. There is an eternal life with God. If this person was ill and suffering, perhaps she may be consoled by the fact that her father will no longer have to suffer.

The main thing that you need to do is to be there for her. Hold her when she cries, and listen to her when she talks.

Losing your parents is one of the most difficult things to endure. Please be patient with her, it may take a while for her to get back to normal.

Answer 4

Well first you could offer condolensces for her loss. As far as offering religious answers, I would refrain. If she asked you specific questions you could answer what you believe. Also, you could say such things that her father is in a better place, etc... She may just need someone to talk to, or a shoulder.

Answer 5

One of the most important parts of a friend or loved one's death is grieving. Offer your condolences, and don't offer them again. Many people overkill on their sympathy simply because they don't know what else to say. Don't treat her any different than before. If she brings up the subject, allow her to reminisce and tell you her fondest memories about the one she lost. The rest will take care of itself.

Answer 6

Offer your condolences and let her know that she should be at ease knowing that the deceased is now at peace with himself/herself and God. Spend time with her. Sometimes just having someone by the side without words said is consoling. As for the religion topic, it's best if you can avoid it because it is indeed sensitive to get there!

Answer 7

listening is very important, listen to what to she has to say, losing someone is the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone. when she ask you about death, just tell her that we all have different views regarding death, say something nice, like 'your father is looking down on you from heaven and smiling' or something like that. About you guys dating- don't pressure her, she is still in mourning, to her it will be like you are saying she should move on and stop pining over a dead loved one! whatever you do don't say you feel her pain, unless you yourself have lost a father!

Answer 8

Dude, only you know your own thoughts about that, ask yourself. Not being funnie or anything but if its not how you feel about things e.g. anothers opinion then its false.

What do you believe?

Answer from the heart man. An when you do that she will see that you care.

Answer 9

Just say sorry about that dude to him or condelence him
be there 4 him

Answer 10

Give your condolence and let her know that if she needs someone to talk to you're there. Then give her some space.