My now husband.When we began seeing each other, he led me to believe that he had been seperated for almost a year and lived back at home with his parents, and that the reason why he wasn't divorced was because his ex (who was supposidly evil) had cancer and needed to stay on his insurance. Later he led me to believe that he was in the process of divorcing and we got engaged. I never had any reason to doubt anything he said because he spent everyday with me and we would even vacation together for over a week at a time. Suddenly 1 day he really wanted to try for a baby. I eventually gave in. Three days after I confirmed that we had concieved, I found out the truth. The whole time we had been dating, he was married and living with his wife. now I can't seem to trust him & it is causing us problems, what can I do. I want to make things work, but I never feel at ease I always think that he is going to do the same to me. I don't want to continue having these feelings. Any advice?
2007-03-29 18:23:06 · 10 answers · asked by Me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its an emotional roller coaster during separation, he obviously was on his way out of his marriage to have ended up marrying you and very well could have been much of what he told you to be true but perhaps not in every aspect...In some mens eyes the marriage had been over long before separation and once both parties have openly accepted that I can see he still living with her and feeling the separation final...the bottom line is he seemed to do everything he said he would...divorced , married you...and I am sure he hopes this marriage is as loving as you hope it is...try and give him the benefit of the doubt ....you both deserve to be happy together...good luck.
2007-03-29 19:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see questions on proper right here at all times from ladies who act love it's a total shock when their husband cheats, lies, and plenty of others nonetheless most of the time i'm just a little unsympathetic considering i do know that the girl picked this man and must have recognized some thing of his persona. Your story is designated. You may have been systematically deceived from the very commencing, and he maintained this deception correct up til the second he felt he had trapped you. This seems like an actual harmful man. His lying is practically sociopathic and his strikes had been bloodless and calculated to function you within the weakest attainable position. Your query is 'how do I trust yet again?'. A greater query can be 'why would you ever believe a monster like this and why have not you run for you existence?'. I'm truly sorry on your ache and that you simply bought pulled into this horrible difficulty, but proper now there may be a better obstacle than simply your emotional misery: you're having a baby. Each and every choice you're making any further must be concerned about delivering that child with the pleasant and safest living atmosphere which which you can. I am a tremendous proponent of the importance of getting a father for children, so i do not say this flippantly, nevertheless I relatively suppose the easier alternative for the security of your little one is to get as some distance faraway from this man as viable. Quality success.
2016-08-10 22:25:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see questions on here all the time from women who act like it's a total surprise when their husband cheats, lies, etc but usually I'm a little unsympathetic because I know that the woman picked this man and must have known something of his character.
Your story is different. You were systematically deceived from the very beginning, and he maintained this deception right up til the moment he felt he had trapped you.
This sounds like a truly dangerous man. His lying is almost sociopathic and his actions have been cold and calculated to put you in the weakest possible position.
Your question is 'how do I trust again?'. A better question would be 'why would you ever trust a monster like this and why haven't you run for you life?'.
I'm truly sorry for your pain and that you got pulled into this terrible situation, but right now there's a larger concern than just your emotional distress: you're having a baby.
Every decision you make from now on should be focused on providing that child with the best and safest living environment you can.
I'm a huge proponent of the importance of having a father for kids, so I don't say this lightly, but I sincerely believe the better option for the safety of your child is to get as far away from this man as possible.
Good luck.
2007-03-29 19:02:10 · answer #3 · answered by Jon S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI, I'm sorry to hear your story, I know you're going through a rought time. After my personal experiences all I say is that whoever lies/cheat once, it's going to keep doing it. If you realy want to have faith and believe that your fiance is going to change and you want to give him a chance, star from scratch. I know it's hard, but that's the only way to know, the first thing that you have to do is forgive and try to FORGET ( which is the hardest part). On the other hand your fiance has to cooperate and make you feel secure, otherwise , even though you try, and he doesn't help, things would be harder, I hope this helps
Good luck to you
2007-03-29 18:33:39 · answer #4 · answered by lula 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard for me to believe that this is a real question. Can any one person really be this gullible? He really took you didn't he? Now you are pregnant and he has a family already. You are afraid that he will treat you the way he does his wife? He already has.
Get away from him. Get a lawyer and make him take financial responsibility for this baby
2007-03-29 18:52:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I truly think he will do the same to you eventually. He was lying to his wife and to you- possibly putting you both at risk for an std. There may well have been more women involved. I'd leave him for awhile and see what his behavior is...devastated? out drinking with the guys? and ALWAYS double check him...(see if he is where he says he is, snoop for receipts in his wallet, check your dryer lint for womens hair when you do his laundry)
2007-03-29 18:30:51 · answer #6 · answered by LO! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he has to build up trust again with you and you have to get your self esteem back. If in doubt do nowt. We usually feel things for a reason, you should go with your gut feeling. Ask yourself this.......... if a friend came to you with the same problem how would you solve it?
2007-03-29 18:37:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't hear any redeeming qualities of this man. To trust a dishonest man is not desirable. May I suggest an abortion, or an adoption and a new bf.
2007-03-29 18:33:34 · answer #8 · answered by charlie at the lake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counsellors are a good thing.
2007-03-29 18:51:53 · answer #9 · answered by joe b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wont as long as you are with this guy.
2007-03-29 18:34:19 · answer #10 · answered by saturn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋