Sometimes she wan'ts to talk,( I want her to know i'm there for her anytime) but ,when starts crying (which I feel is good for her) then I start crying and am not much help.
2007-03-29 18:12:59 · 8 answers · asked by seven-11 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I never bring it up, only when she does, because some days she does'nt want to.
2007-03-29 18:27:13 · update #1
when she reaches out to you, let her cause loosing a child is a parent's worst nightmare and she needs someone to talk to you more than ever
when u start crying cause she is it makes her feel dat u listen to her, and understand her
don't think that ur not helping her wen u r
over time your co-worker will heal
2007-03-29 18:18:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your co-worker. Losing a child is pretty much the worst thing you can have happen to as a parent. However, you seem to be really a caring person and a good friend to have.
My neighbour lost her husband a few months ago and I had the same dilemma. However, I found that just being there and letting her talk about him was good for her and although I was embarrassed when I started to cry around her, she said that she appreciated my empathy....and that it did help to have someone cry with her.
Now, I make sure that I touch base with her regularly and get her out of the house so she can think of other things.
Its important that you call her because you know how it is, you really feel like your bothering others once you start reaching out, so having someone who reaches out to pick you up once in awhile really helps.
2007-03-29 18:25:31 · answer #2 · answered by Mangomum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recommend you let the person know that you are ready and willing to be there for them when they need you, but you will leave it up to them.
I cannot think of a worse loss than that of a child (grown or not), so even if you cry as she talks with you, that will tell your co-worker you are sharing her grief with her. I believe showing emotions is so much better than putting a mask on, so I believe your being real in your emotions is a huge support for her.
She may go from feeling grief-stricken, to numb, to angry, to happy (when she reflects on the joy her son gave her) back to being sad or angry in just moments. That is normal.
I think it is great that your co-worker has such a good and concerned friend to help in such a terrible time.
2007-03-29 18:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by hunter621 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't bring it up or mention it. If she wants to talk to you, listen. Just be there for her, even if you aren't talking, just your presence will help. And about the crying not helping much, some people find it comforting to cry with another, others well, it makes them more sad. I don't know which one your co-worker is, your going to have to figure that one out.
2007-03-29 18:18:28 · answer #4 · answered by Chaun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to keep things as normal as possible. Don't ignore the fact that her son died, but she'll probably appreciate that there is some place she can go without people constantly asking "Are you okay?" "Do you need someone to talk to?" etc.
If she's a really good friend and she wants to talk, lend an ear. If she doesn't bring it up, don't bring it up.
Also, the woman needs to see counseling to deal with her grief. It's important that, if you are her friend, that you're there for her, but don't bog yourself down helping this woman.
If she wants advice, tell her to talk to someone who's trained to help people who've lost someone they love. If she just wants a friend, be that friend.
2007-03-29 18:37:49 · answer #5 · answered by Ashley L. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her your condolences and explain to her that you are there to help her if she needs it. If you were or are not a close friend do not cross the "patronization-line". That can actually do more damage than good. What ever you do...do not say that you feel her pain. If you have never lost a child, then there is no way you can truly feel her pain. Grief is interesting because there is no one way to handle it and everyone grieves differently. Just talk to her when she needs someone to talk to and that should help her through the tough times.
2007-03-29 18:37:45 · answer #6 · answered by Patrick the Carpathian, CaFO 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's alright to cry with her. You sound like a good friend. Listen when she needs to talk and just let her get it out. That's really all you can do for her right now. Comfort and support are what she needs.
2007-03-30 01:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be there as long as they need u...listen...cry
2007-03-29 18:22:15 · answer #8 · answered by cybil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋