I pay the bills, make certain that all documents, insurance, car titles etc. etc are taking care of. I clean the house, I make certain that the cars get serviced on time, It seems that I control everything. I wanted to be taken care of by my husband not the other way around. Are there any wives who feel disappointed like this?
2007-03-29 17:31:33 · 6 answers · asked by R G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would listen to either of those answers.
In regards to the first one, PLEASE do not think that you have to continue to live like this.. it just takes time.. have you ever heard of the show 'bring your husband to heel?' Below is a web address that will explain, and is so true, and for the second answer, about not expecting your husband to change, that is such bullsh*t!! Of course she should expect her husband to mature and change, and become more responsible, thats whats life is all about! Good luck, please hang in there, remember, men are like children, and dogs, just need an incentive or reward and will soon be doing backflips.
2007-03-29 17:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by han83b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UMMMM.. yeah.
The answer to this question is disappointing, but you cannot change him. Sometimes we also have to realize we have created our own monsters by taking care of them for so long.
I do all of that in my house, I even have my own tool belt and do all the general maintenance (in pink slippers..lol). It is frustrating but by doing everything for them, we have spoiled them and there really is no turning back now. Just forge ahead!
The upside is that you get some sort of self pride because you are definatly a do-it-all girl.
The downside is that it is really easy to realize that you don't need him. Which makes it easier to walk away from the relationship.
Just for the record, I did not say "he should not change"... I said He WOULD NOT CHANGE. In marriages people rarely change for the better. You cannot change someone that does not want to change, they have to change themselves. No amount of nagging will do it.
2007-03-30 00:37:58 · answer #2 · answered by Steffi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You chose this man to be your mate. I'm sure you realized he wasn't as "do-it-all" as you are when you met. It sounds like you possibly found this guy attractive because he's passive, will do as you say, probably very agreeable, opinion-less for the most part, and so easy going that he is the opposite of a strong man, which you may possibly fear. Because of that fear, you may have subconsciously evaded strong competent men, in order to be with a more "friendly" , 'easy to handle', guy. The outcome is, you married him hoping you could nurture him to be as "do-it-all" as you, but the flaw is, he is who he is.
If you wanted a guy who could take charge, you should have married a take-charge type of guy. But that would be an alpha male usually, which you sound like an alpha female, which the two don't mix unless one or both is ready to compromise. So instead, it sounds like you have a beta male for a husband. this is what you wanted, so you have to get used to his submissive behavior to let you take charge in everything. He probably doesn't even have much confidence in himself.
Eventually you may feel that he is usless, and that you don't need him. Get bored of him. You may feel a strong passion to be with a strong guy that truly excites you, but you may be to afraid to try him out. Maybe you get a kick out of out doing and competing with weak guys.
Or maybe what I said is all bullsh*t, but it's what could be a possibilty that makes sense.
2007-03-30 01:28:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you simply tried talking to him and if you are so tired of paying the bills then tell him. If he loves you he would try to help you but if he does nothing then discipline is in order.
2007-03-30 01:12:50 · answer #4 · answered by BetaBeast 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRY THIS SIMPY AND WITH MUCH RESCEPT SAY "HONEY THE BIBLE SAYS YOU ARE THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSE HOLD AND WITH THAT COMES RESPONSIBLITYS SO HERES THE BILLS THE PAPPER WORK AND ALL THAT COMES WITH BEING THE HEAD KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU AND THAT I NEED A MAN WHO IS GONNA TAKE GOOD CARE OF ME ! THE WAY GOD INTENDED " THEN SAY YOU LOVE HIM AND ENCOURAGE HIM TELLING HIM HE WILL DO A GREAT JOBAND THAT YOU DONT MIND BEING HIS HELP MATE BUT HE NEEDS TO TAKE CONTROL
2007-03-30 01:32:49 · answer #5 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't, he is the way he is and that is what you married. If you didn't like it (as he didn't change), then you should have married someone else.
2007-03-30 00:38:46 · answer #6 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋