I possessed lots of Bad Personalities...I am helpless. Could you please show me a way out?

Question

I am a college freshman, and I think I possessed lots of Bad Personalities(BP). I was spoiled by my mum when I was young. Whatever I requested, my mum gave it to me. as a result, I took everything for granted. (BP1) Also, when I was young, my mum was afraid that I did something wrong, so she did everything for me, like prepared all the clothes, food, books I need. as a result, I dont have a lot of experiences to take care of myself.(BP2) as u may noticed, since my mum did everything for me, I "believed" that everything HAS to be right(perfectionism??), if it's not perfect, i dont know what to do(BP3). Like today, I took my driving test and I failed that.(lane violation..LOL) and I sat in my house for like couple hours becuz it's really hard to believe that I failed the test.

please keep reading, I know it's kind of long.

Moreover, I am excessively sensitive to the opinions and criticism of others(BP4). I want people around me approve me. well, look at my list, how do ppl approve a girl like me? I sensed that everyone around me (include my parents) do not rely on me(probably cuz I am not very responsible?). As a result, I often critizise myself. (low self-esteem...BP5?)

I wanted to become a doctor. but everytime I evaluate myself, I cant see a doctor. I wanted to give up, just marry someone good, then end my life.Then I dont have to face all those disappointing faces around me.

I feel that I hve some kind of mental illness, but I cant see the problem. I am helpless. Could you please show me a way out?

Answer 1

First off, you are not helpless. Realizing this is the first step to helping yourself. Second, you have to realize that you are in full 100% control of your life. Your mother may have made your decisions for you in the past, but now is the present and it's time to do something really beneficial for yourself.

You don't have a disorder, and everything that you perceive to be wrong with yourself you are very capable of fixing. You can talk to a therapist, which will help greatly, but you don't need to talk to a therapist to succeed.

You've listed all of your BP's, so you know what needs to be fixed. For example your mum did everything for you, so you lack certain skills to take care of yourself. This is easily remedied: practice. Do everything that you can for yourself. If anybody is babying you (especially your mother) break that connection immediately. You must understand that you should be doing all of the simple things for yourself, and only accepting help when you need it.

-Best wishes on this. You are very capable of fixing these issues yourself. It will take time and patience, but you are in control of your actions. I really hope this helps you, and if you want any more advice you can email me.

Answer 2

Oh sweety, you are so honest about yourself and your shortcommings, you even know the reason why !

You are about ten million light years ahead of most adults !

I beleive that you have an exceptionally inteligent and mature trait for one so young, not so full of ego.

You will be able to to handle things just great !

Don't care so much about what others think about you, that is a waste of time as there will always be those self righteous ones that will judge you, just try to be a good person and not react to cricism by others, God if all the "great" people in history did, then they wouldn't have done a thing nor be the individuals God created, just a clone of another, God made you unique and there are no "mistakes".

I am 63 and just now finding out these things !

Answer 3

From all that, you don't have a mental illness, nor do you have "bad personalities", you have only described one in everything you mentioned. What you said is you are a person who has never had to accept responsibility for her life and is not afraid to do so because she doesn't want to be a disappointment to everyone else. You can only be responsible for your thoughts and your actions not for how others react to what you do. Stop evaluating youself in terms of what you think others want you to do. If you want to become a doctor, just do it. By taking steps toward that goal and succeeding, you will see that you can be what you wish, you just have to work at it.

Answer 4

SuN, I felt very proud of you just reading your well thought out, observant, intelligent and above all "Honest - self examination" ! You might be surprised to learn that there are very many young people in the very same predictiment as you are who "never" come to the realization and honesty about themselves and their situation. :) By the way - your Mum is an enabler! She is enabling you to remain dependent on her, not helping you too become self-disiplined and "independent" from her. It can and has been turning you into a mental invalid! You are going to have to have a heart to heart with Mum!

Now, what else can you do about this? You need to begin by asking your Mum to teach you how to do your own laundry. :) And explain to her that you feel frustrated because you feel like a mental invalid, trapped, and out of control because you haven't taken any control of your own life , etc. etc. Also ask her to start teaching you to cook a meal now and again. Ask her to help you become self sufficient and independent by teaching you how to do things for yourself!!:)

YOU GO GIRL!! :)

Answer 5

I have felt the same way in my life, The first thing to do is. stop putting your self down, you are a very special person.and you should tell yourself that every day. the next thing is possitive thinking. Now i used to be a perfectionist and stayed that way for years, every thing had to be so so
and now i realize that it was because i wasn't happy with my self and making things around me perfect helped the empty feeling i had inside. You are going to have to change the way you think. No one is perfect . and you don't have to be better or smarter prettier, first, cleaner. in any one way,
God put us on this earth. and he is the reason for living from one day to another. now every thing in the middle is up to us but he gives us the trials to make us whole in our life. all we have to do is keep a open mind search for the answer as to what he wants us to learn from the problem at hand. Just know that their is a lesson to be learned in every situation.
Nothing happens in this world by mistake. even the little things has reasons behind them. Just keep your head up and try to focus on what you could learn from every situation and the out come will be far more rewarding than you think.
Trust me on this and soon you will have trained you mind to look for the possitive things in all situations. and you will strengthen your whole self, and that is what pleased God he is in control, all you have to do is look for the possitive, and he will do the rest. may God bless you in every thing you do and don't forget to ask him to be a part of your every day life and help you learn what it is that you should no,

their is a book that is called
purpose of driven life it will help you every day i promise this is the best book i have ever read. and i hate to read but get the book you want be disappointed

Answer 6

Your Mother smothered you with Love and did not allow you to learn to be independent or learn responsibilty. You do need to live by yourself and learn how to take care of YOU. You have never been taught this, and so of course you do not know how to react when something goes wrong. It is normal to make mistakes in Life and you will many times before we die. Hold your head up high and tackle the World with a new Attitude. If first you do not succeed, try, try again.

Answer 7

I had a boyfriend who had two boys.The dad had had a hard childhood was put into boys homes and juvenile detention.Not because he was bad but because they were very poor and literally had to steal food and money,smash parking meters that kinda thing.As a result he did the same thing to his boys your mom did for you.EVERYTHING!! These boys could not even return something to Wall-mart it was disgusting.What one did was to join the military and that worked.Perhaps that would be a option for you.You are hindered not because of you but what your mom did for you.Being in the Military really helped this kid.You are young and if you don't do something drastic you are in trouble.I think that is a good idea the Military.I know it helped one person..perhaps it will help you. good luck..also you could see a therapist.

Answer 8

If you're really concerned about your mental health, go see your school psychologist - soon.
On average, people who suffer from depression (as well as other co-morbid disorders) wait an average of TEN YEARS before seeking help. That's a lot of time - don't waste it!
Chances are you're just discovering early adulthood issues. If so, a trip to the head shrinker can't hurt; might even reassure and encourage you. Give it a whirl.

Answer 9

you're so suitable. It began with Disney and it has were given a lot worse as we attempt to "take care of" our useful babies from the prospect of an unhappy ending. take a seem on the unique version of the Little tournament lady and then look into the caricature, each and each of the chance taken out and the tale destroyed. round about an same time we were given all our youngster's books Bowdlerised. Thank God for well being care specialist Who.

Answer 10

You poor thing, let's try to help you out of your bubble.Since your mom was the one to help shelter you and protect you, ask her to help you become independent. If you still live inside that home, assuming you do, start acting alone. Example, pretend that you are in an apartment: do your own laundry, dishes, etc. Pretty soon after you try you will get the hang of it and feel more independency, you will less judgemental on yourself to. Just try it, but try babysteps, just a little at a time. Hope I helped. Thanks!