My fiances ex wifeputs things in the kids head to hate me and say bad words and hateful things to me and there dad when they are out there and she has already turned 2 of them against me and the other is out here more now because he doesnt want to be around her because she is doing these things he is 2 years younger but loves his daddy and me very much what can I do?????????????
2007-03-29 14:33:33 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't do or say anything about it. Children are very smart and know what is going on. They will someday learn to dislike her because of her ways of mistreatment toward you. All you can do is be there for them and give them love.
2007-03-29 14:57:20 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont bring your self down to her level by saying bad things about her. At least not in front of the children. Be the best friend you can be to these kids and in time they will see you are not the evil woman the ex is trying to make you out to be. She is probably just jealous that you are with her ex and she probably feels insecure and afraid that maybe her kids will like you more than they like her. She would have to be pretty nasty for her own kids to like you more than they like her, but if it turns out to be the case it is her fault and her loss. Dont try and be their mum cos they already have one. Just ignore the things she says about you and ask the kids ( if they bring it up) if they feel that way about you or believe the things their mum says. Just show them that you are a decent person and get along well with them and their dad. Maybe you couldtry being really nice to the ex. If you do this it will show that you are a decent person and that the ex is really not, especially if she doesnt return your niceness.
2007-03-29 21:53:05 · answer #2 · answered by suzi Q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't panic. What you need to do is continue be nice and show your fiance's kids that you care about them and that you will love them.
As far as what his ex is doing, she is mad at the fact that your fiance is not with her anymore and is using the kids to get back at you and him. Secretly, she wishes she can have him back. Talk to your fiance and let him know that you don't appreciate what your ex is saying to the kids about you.
He then should have a talk with the ex and let her know that since you two will be married soon, that she should stop acting like a ***** and show some respect not only to your marriage, but to you as well. He also needs to tell her that he won't tolerate the stuff she's telling the kids and that he won't tolerate the kids' behavior around you...and he needs to tell the latter to the kids also.
You and your fiance should also discuss how yall will discipline the kids when they are over at yall's home.
2007-03-29 21:50:50 · answer #3 · answered by brotherb95 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your fiance youve decided not to marry him, give him his ring back hurt heal and move on OR , accept things as they are for life.He isnt going to change, the ex isnt going to change and youre seeing what being married to him will be like on a good day.Wait until you actually DO something that makes the kids mad at you, THEN it will really be on honey.The ex and the kids will be a aprt of your life til death do you part.You cannot change him, her, or the kids.Sorry.Take it or leave it.
2007-03-29 22:40:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my younger days, I would have told you to "take a bat to that bytch's head." lol
Now, that i am more 'mature', here's the deal:
I don't understand why your man is letting his ex disrespect you in that way. More importantly, I don't know why you are tolerating HIS behavior.
You need to lay it down to your man (with your hand on your hip), that if he loves you, he'd put that hater in her place.
Also, his kids should never disrespect you. As long as you treat his kids with love and respect, they should never step out of line with you. Your man needs to enforce that rule as well.
You may not be able to control what his ex says to her kids about you, but you CAN control the situation when they are in YOUR presence.
Refuse to let her change your relationship with them or your man!
Good luck...
2007-03-29 23:03:05 · answer #5 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is more common than what people think. just don't stoop to her level. she is just jealous, and sees how happy u and your fiance are, and isn't happy herself, so if she can talk about u and lie on u, it makes her feel better. just ignore her lies, don't dignify anything she has said, don't respond.
2007-03-29 22:21:28 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋