My big sister has had this boyfriend for a year, and they're both 18 going on 19, and ever since she's been going with him I kind of don't matter anymore. And now something hurt me a lot. They decided to get married! I can't decide if I should hate this or like it, I mean, my sister's boyfriend is really nice, and his little brother is also a good friend of mine (it's a small town) but I'm the youngest, and it hurts to know that once they get married, she'll be gone out of my life except for thanksgiving and christmas and stuff! And she might spend those with the boyfriend's family! :( I'm so confused. This is a lot for a twelve year old to take!
2007-03-29 14:09:52 · 12 answers · asked by emysandefeet 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only thing you should worry about is how heartbroken your sister is going to be when her marriage ends. She and her honey-man are both entirely too young to handle an all-encompassing commitment like marriage. That may sound harsh, but the odds don't favor what they've done. So be sure that you're there for her. She will need your comfort and support.
As far as your relationship with your sister changing, change is a part of life. You and your sister are both constantly changing as is your relationship. Your bond with her will change, but will be no less important to either of you. It may take a few years to fully understand, but you will. Especially when your sister sees you going through some of the changes she did not that long ago.
Don't worry, sweetheart. You're a good sister. Don't be afraid of the changes occuring within you as well as around you. They may be scary at first, but you'll learn to appreciate them in time.
2007-03-29 15:33:26 · answer #1 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No honey, you are very normal sister. You aren't losing a sister you're gaining a brother. There are so many things to look forward too. You'll have another place to visit, and stay overnight. They probably aren't moving far away from home. That's the hard part of growing ulpp when family members grow up and move on. In the summer time you'll be able to spend part of your vacation visiting your sister. It will truly be fun. If sister has a baby you'll be an aunt. The baby will get all excited every time she/he sees their aunt. From the sounds of things you'll be like the only child. that's fun too. Talk with your sister and tell her how you feel. She's probably is feeling sad too. Tell her you love her and will miss her. Maybe she can ease your mind about not seeing her.
2007-03-29 14:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by ann m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to have to tell you this but that's life. Consider if the situation was reversed do you not think your sister was in your shoes she would not be upset. Really though if I were you I would tell your sister she is way to young to marry she isn't out of her teenage years and well what about getting a career and a real job that involves finishing college/university.
It is very common that people who get married this young it doesn't last the test of time. If they really love each other they should be able to hold off for another 4-5 yrs so they both
can finish getting educated. Really what do your parents think? Explain to your sister that marriage is one of the most important and critical decisions she can make in her life!
With her being this young she don't even know what love is yet. Maybe tell her this if she gets married she is not to be with another guy the rest of her life if she is it is considered adultery.
2007-03-29 14:18:49 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That;s so sweet! Of corse you're not a bad sister!!!!
I think you should just talk to your sister... let her know how you feel.
Maybe suggest going with her to do some of the wedding stuff. It may be fun for you too.
She's your sister... and that's a bond that will never be broken.
Her getting married and moving on from "the nest" is just a part of growing up and life. You'll go through it too. Just try to remember that this is a huge deal for her too. One of the most important things she'll ever do. I'm sure she'll want you to be a part of it too.
2007-03-29 14:16:12 · answer #4 · answered by ErinJean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I understand how you feel. It happened to me and my sister a couple years ago. But you know what, after they got married and everything we still talk on the phone for hours sometimes. She's in love! Be happy for her. I would talk to her and tell her you miss her. Just because she's married doesn't mean she has to spend every waking moment with her husband. Suggest a girls night or something. Go shopping. But don't be upset about it. I'm sure you're going to be the maid of honor at their wedding. You'll understand how it is when you meet the guy you want to marry. You get so infatuated that nothing else matters, but that wears off after a while and things get back to normal.
2007-03-29 14:26:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy for your sister! It sound like you and your sister have a good relationship and she means so much to you, that is why you are sad she is leaving. It is important for you to know that people can experience grief over many things, and type of loss no one has to physically die for someone to experience loss. If she is marrying a great guy and you guys are close then you will probably see her more than you think besides after awhile you will start to have more things going on in your life just like her! You can always look to someone else that you respect to be a stand-in for your sister as well! Good luck, allow yourself to feel sad and then move on. Tell your sister how you feel, that will help, and she will know how to help you also. No, this does not make you a bad sister, you obviously love her a lot.
2007-03-29 14:22:49 · answer #6 · answered by Nunyabusiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does not make you a bad sister...not at all. If you like this guy and your sister loves him...you should try to support her decision. BUT...this won't erase your fears. Experience with life will only lessen your fears. You really should sit down and have a talk with her....let her know how much you are going to miss her and that you are afraid you will not see her as much and that really makes you fell insecure and sad. Maybe you two can make promise dates with one another. You know time set aside for just you and her.
The reason you are feeling so sad about this is because she has been in your home your whole life and you can't imagine what it will be like without her there everyday.. you will be fine and you will adjust! She will not love you any less...but her stage in life is changing and yours will too!! Just be sure to talk with her...I am sure she cares how you feel!!
Keep your chin up!!
2007-03-29 20:01:24 · answer #7 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell your sister this! She's reallllly young to get married, so maybe this will encourage her to wait it out a little bit longer. And if she does decide to still get married, maybe if you talk to her about your feelings she'll be very considerate about how you are feeling and you guys can make dates to hang out and do sister stuff. Just talk to her! You'll work something out
2007-03-29 14:14:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to let your older sister be happy and get married hon. This is what happens when people grow up. Be happy for her and love her anyways... Enjoy the time you do have with her and support your sister in her upcoming wedding. Try making some new friends to hang out with and do things.
2007-03-29 14:20:42 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that does not make you a bad little sister,,,you just aren't ready for the change in your life...Just let her know that you want her to spend one evening a week with you, she can bring him along, ( most of the time), but you are still growing up and you still need her. And you need her.
2007-03-29 14:46:15 · answer #10 · answered by brp_13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋