My wife lost her father not very close back in November of last year and well I'm not being selfish or anything but I'm wondering how long is it going to be without a sex life? Once since then?
2007-03-29 14:08:45 · 16 answers · asked by Livinrawguy 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He was not that close with her he divorced her mom when she was only 2 and well didn't ever stay in contact. He had a serious drinking problem and basically got into contact with my wife when she turned 18 legal drinking age in most of Canada. We all knew that he was sick and had even been told he had basically very limited function of the liver. It was a surprise to us since he was only 58 yrs old but we knew his life on this earth was going to be short with how much he drank alcoholic for over 30yrs. I have mentioned therapy as a couple and she is already in counselling for the loss of her dad but this was going on before he passed away. She has also taken some college copurse throughout the years and has done very well but had to drop out due to health problems, then a instructor screwed her over.
2007-03-29 16:11:08 · update #1
I think she is just grieving and will slowly feel better. How old is your wife and how old was her dad? I think if she is young it would be harder for her to get over it. I think her lack of desire is just due to depression and sadness. I think it takes about 6 months for some people to feel like they are starting to feel better. My grandmother died a few years ago, she was like a mother to me since my mom died when I was 12. Although my sex life wasn't really effected, I thought about her every single day and can say i was deeply sad for at least 6 months. She will get better soon, just hang in there and make sure she knows how much you love her!
2007-03-29 15:05:06 · answer #1 · answered by sprtek 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The grief process is different with every individual. Until you've lost a member of your immediate family, it's hard to understand how devastating it can be.
You can help by being there, being thoughtful, being helpful, and being patient. Lots of talking, hand-holding, hugging, and just spending quiet time together will eventually solve your problems. Go for walks, take her to favorite restaurants or vacation spots, help around the house, do gentle things to show her that you're there for her.
All marriages go through sexual dry spells, sometimes for no apparent reason. Your wife has had a life-altering loss. It will take time to recover.
2007-03-29 14:40:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think it would depend on how close she was with her father.. and her age.. I know your probably wondering what does one have to do with the other.. but if you have any daughters you'll know.. if you don't have any kids yet, then boy are you in for a change in the way you view sex..
You see, dads & (moms) have those talks with their daughters but dads versions are way different.. and what they say to you rings in your ears for a long, long time. On top of all the guilt you feel for all the not so right things you do to your parents as your growing up.. so be patient & supportive and she'll come around. Good Luck!!
2007-03-29 14:19:41 · answer #3 · answered by SHORTY38 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well romance her and make her see a doctor for her depression she has a bad case of depression you need to try to do stuff to take her mind off of it make her join a lost loved ones group to help her deal with the loss and you could attend with her to show your support . have friends over more often and take her out of the house more get her back into reality this may help
2007-03-29 14:17:53 · answer #4 · answered by family fan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you are being a bit selfish, though i can understand the need. but still you should be more concerned with your wife and what shes going through. i would recommend you try discussing therapy with her, see if shes willing, it may help her cope. But that isnt a very long time, people grieve for different periods, and really you should be asking your wife this question.
2007-03-29 14:14:01 · answer #5 · answered by ♥mama♥ 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What has the death of a father got to do with the sex life of your wife? Unless there is a cultural tradition, I think it should not effect your lives at all. If it does, be patient it will be over soon.
2007-03-29 14:13:02 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That doesn't seem like you are supporting her. You need to put your man needs to the side and be there for her. Everything you do for her will come to light just may take some time. I know its not the answer you were looking for but come on its her father.
2007-03-29 14:13:59 · answer #7 · answered by micheleey 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She'll come around. After my dad passed away, we still had sex here and there. Mostly just to please him. I will be honest and say I didn't want to.
She lost the first man she ever loved. It's a big deal.
Let her know how you feel about it and maybe she'll come around.
I was crushed when my dad passed away! It was almost 3 years ago and I still cry sometimes!
2007-03-29 14:13:30 · answer #8 · answered by Caffiene Junkie 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Try doing something romantic. Have a picnic on the floor. Draw her a bubble bath with candles all around. Make her dinner with candles on the table. Do something to draw her attention to you. I don't think her Fathers death is the reason for the problem.
2007-03-29 14:13:15 · answer #9 · answered by HDGranny 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Bless Her heart. She is having issues that she should seek professional help for. Best of luck to you both.
2007-03-29 14:15:52 · answer #10 · answered by krash 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋