Whether she is hiding under the covers until the lights are down or out, or changing out of sight, "modesty" seems to get in the way of romance and intimacy. Assume that her husband genuinely and frequently tells her good things about her and her body. How does a woman become confident, proud of, and skilled at showing off her body to her husband?
2007-03-29 13:18:14 · 12 answers · asked by Andy 4 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Wow, someone just made me look up the word, NEUROTICISM, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroticism. Good point.
2007-03-29 13:36:44 · update #1
I grant that discomfort, fakeness, and stress are definitely to be avoided. However, the desire to impress one's mate with one's body seems like a very natural and normal thing.
2007-03-29 13:44:19 · update #2
Just two get two things straight here: I am the husband, and yes, we are married.
2007-03-30 01:54:20 · update #3
Not professional, just skilled as in knowing what works well for both mates and not feeling awkward, uncomfortable, or embarrased.
2007-03-30 02:00:33 · update #4
I don't think what you're explaining is modesty. Modesty has more to do with how one conducts herself in public. What you're explaining sounds more like either (1) a woman who has sexual problems caused by past experience, or (2) a woman who is simply not comfortable with how she looks.
If it is #1, she needs to discuss the problem with her husband. Was she mis-treated in a past relationship? Was she raped? Was she in an abusive relationship, either at home, or with a lover? Understanding husbands are typically more than willing to work with their wives in helping them get past such problems. When she becomes comfortable that she is perfectly safe with her husband, she'll relax more, begin to enjoy sex more, and start feeling much more comfortable in her own skin.
If #2 is the problem, and she just doesn't like the way she looks, that is actually a harder problem to deal with because it may point to deeper psychological problems. This characteristic is most common in anorexics and bulimics. Maybe it would help her to understand that her husband isn't blind. Men are attracted to attractive women. If he's admiring her, then he's turned on by her, then she must be attractive, right? At the very least, she's attractive to him. Maybe she could begin to realize that although she's not all that impressed with herself physically, men nonetheless do find her attractive.
In the end, sexuality comes from within, and it starts with feeling comfortable with yourself. When she can start feeling more comfortable with herself, she'll begin to be more comfortable with the fact that her husband is crazy for her. And maybe she'll start being a little more sexual, at least around him.
2007-03-29 13:54:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have had this same problem with my husband. Although he has no problems with my body, I always have, and have always been really modest. We've been married for almost 6 years now, and, there have been some changes....especially with two pregnancies, but he still loves me no matter what. So, I would say that the continued compliments are a big help. And maybe a real heart to heart talk to her, looking her right in the eyes and expressing all feelings. And, something that seemed to help me....try joining her in the shower.
2007-03-29 20:39:57 · answer #2 · answered by Kelli B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not wanting to show ones body to another does not make them Neurotic or suffering from neuropsychological problems!
Becoming confident and proud to show ones body comes in time, and the answer to how long, is how long is a piece of string?
As for skilled, it is not a profession!
Acceptance in all terms by oneself and others is the only way forward and with out pressure confidence will grow.
2007-03-29 22:36:49 · answer #3 · answered by delbolof 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She can get used to it or build up her confidence w/o becoming cocky and "un-modest" She also should keep in mind that her husband loves her and he says these things for a reason: he relle does like her for other things but he's complimenting her on her psychical shape at the moment
2007-03-29 20:23:15 · answer #4 · answered by lilrock824 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it isn't in her nature to be that way, what is wrong with it? Should she change who she is for her husbands desires even though it means she is making herself uncomfortable or faking her comfort to please her husand? Don't try to change her. Give her space and time. If it is in her, then she will become more comfortable. Otherwise, she shouldn't have to feel stress about something as silly as showing off her body to her husband.
2007-03-29 20:33:36 · answer #5 · answered by Yomi 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Look at it this way, its more worrying if your husband doesn't want to see your body; your husband is attracted to you so your lucky.
Ask your husband what he really likes about your body and when your alone stand naked in front of the mirror and learn to admire them yourself.
If your not entirely comfortable being naked in front of him then try experimenting with some classy lingerie as an ice breaker.
Why would you feel ashamed of your body anyway?
2007-03-29 21:56:07 · answer #6 · answered by tigertigertiger 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm a modest woman myself.
The thing is, it's the mindset. It's okay for your husband to do it, but not some other guy. I would go so far as to say it's loyalty to your husband to only let HIM see the goods and no one else.
2007-03-29 21:47:56 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
she should realize that it is a normal thing.
i do
i think im pretty modest in this case, i dont l ike ppl i dont know staring at my body and i dont really into "public attention".
but its ok for me if my partner admire my body....i think its natural. and i understand tht i also have the need to be admired. anyway there could be shyness sumtimes but i just try to ignore it.:D
2007-03-29 21:04:37 · answer #8 · answered by facobasten1984 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It takes time for the trust to be built up between 2 people.
2007-03-29 23:47:20 · answer #9 · answered by diannegoodwin@sbcglobal.net 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's Modesty. She is very insecure. I think ( hope )
that in time she will work thru this.If not think about therapy.
2007-03-29 20:49:37 · answer #10 · answered by Tom 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋