was i wrong?

Question

my husband and i got into a arugument last night over money because i spent 100 on the kids yesterday afternoon

we make plenty of money..he said im spoiling them and ts gonna stop and his spoiling me is coming to a stop...im not spoiled,....he calls getting my nails done and tanning and my hair spoiled

Answer 1

well yea 100 dollars is a little much and a tan is not that necessary but if you got your hair and your nails done not so often yea its fine and i wouldn't spend 100 dollars on the kids in one afternoon limit it unless its educational or good family fun like a vacation of Disney land or something

Answer 2

Well if he thinks you're soooo spoiled, just stop doing your tanning and nails and hair. Start looking like every other broke down wife and see just how much he likes that.

Going out and getting something nice for yourself and your kids a couple times a month should not be a problem. Why work for all that money if you can't have anything fun? Now if you're out all the time doing this, then you might have a spending problem. You only need to get your hair done like every month or so. Your nails filled every two weeks and tanning once a week.

Answer 3

Well, I suppose it depends on what u bought for the kids. If it was something that they really need, then I would say that no, u weren't wrong to do it. But if u spent it on trivial things that they don't need then I could see where he's coming from. There isn't a couple that doesn't argue over money at some time in their relationship, but if, as u say, he's making too much of it, then maybe u need to sit down and talk decently about it, without getting angry.
Look, I'm no therapist, but I'm speaking from experience. Nothing gets solved if ur angry. Anger just distorts ur perception of things and u both end up regreting what was said.
Try making him a really nice dinner one night after the kids r asleep and tell him that what he said hurt u very much and try to get him to see ur side. It might work, I don't know.
Anyway, I hope that helps.
Good luck, love.

Answer 4

Yah, I think having your own job is the answer. I saw on the net that you can make quite a bit of money selling jewelry--it's like working out of your home. You get people to book parties and you take the jewelry to their homes where friends come and hopefully buy your stuff. The problem might be the initial investment in the jewelry you would demonstrate.

Otherwise, please try not to fight over money, especially if it isn't really tight. You work very hard being a mom and carrying for your husband and house, so you certainly are making money already that way. This is kind of a spending time of year, with Spring, the religious holidays, and kids needing shorts and sandals because they outgrew everything. Ask hubby what's really bothering him. Maybe make some special time for him.

Answer 5

I really think it depends on the situation. You're an adult, and I'm assuming you have a job and you said that you guys don't have money problems. As long as you're not running up a huge credit card debt I don't think you're spoiled. I mean, pretty much every girl gets her hair done, many get their nails done, and tanning is pretty common now.

As for your kids, I can't say! Did they thank you? Did you just buy them $100 of whatever they wanted for no reason? Was it a special occasion? How often do they get to buy things? Do they have chores? I mean, it really depends on a lot of things.

Anyway, hopefully you and your husband come up with a plan about what is and what isn't spoiling your kids! Good luck.

Answer 6

I don't think the issue is necessarily with you, but now that you two have kids I just think he wants to ingrain the value of money in your children at an early age. He may have been raised a different way and just hopes to instill good values in both your children. It all depends on what the money was spent on. Being a parent must be so hard, and I can see how at times money might be a solution to shut the kids up now and then. Did they deserve the gift? Who knows I could be wrong and your husband could just be cheap.

Answer 7

Not necessarily. IS this a common argument between you? Do you have a household budget? If not, start working on a plan to allocate some money, weekly or monthly to free spending for you and the kids. Set an amount, like $20 a week or whatever that you can spend however you'd like, no questions asked. Then you are both on the same page and if you want to go tanning or whatever you can as long as you are within your budget.

Answer 8

it depends what you spent the money ON- was it something fun, like an outing that theyll remember? if it was, youre completely justified. If it was buying them a new toy for no reason, then maybe not. and youre not spoiled, just high maintenance (sorry.) maybe try to cut down- get your nails done no more than every 2 weeks, your hair done every 2 months or so, and dont go tanning- it's unhealthy and kind of stupid. fake tans don't look good on anyone, and you are really prone to melanoma. wouldnt you rather get that tan out having fun on the beach of something?

anyway, good luck with your husband. hope things work out =)

Answer 9

I would encourage you guys to shift the focus from wrong and right to what can we do so that we can both be happy. This may mean putting your heads together to come up with some sort of budget that will work for both of you. If you can't come to an agreement, get a third party (like a counselor) to help you. Although sometimes we have to make sacrifices, you shouldn't have to give up the things that make you who you are. Men have no clue that looking beautiful takes time and money.

Answer 10

As long as you make alot of money, i mean, if he's spending more than 100 dollars every couple weeks then maybe you should have a job for that kind of stuff, i mean, hair and nails are alot cheaper to do them yourself, and its not that hard. Spending money on the kids is somthing thats good for them, spoiling them is when it happens all the time, like an every pay or every other pay, its not good to go on shopping sprees with them all at once....buy them the things they NEED as they need them, even if it means and extra stop here or there, and make getting them things they want only on specials occasions like holidays, birthdays, and good grades in school is a very good one to award them for, school gets more and more important everyday in this world.

Answer 11

I agree with your husband! 100 dollars a day is good for special occasions, but not a lot! I had a friend who had rich grandparents that spoiled her, and she did terrible in life, because she didn't know how to use money. Also, don't do your hair, nails etc. so much! Just do it occasionally like for birthdays etc.