Married for 17 years and highschool sweeties. She is in the process of seeing if the old myth "grass is greener" I was a good husband but after our two kids where born I became a better father than a husband and started to forget about keeping the spark going. When she left me I was pleading for her to stay and tell me what she needed but it was to late the emotional pull towards her coworker was to great. I told her and I was very honest and tearful that "Nobody will ever love her as much as I love her" she was silent and she teared up also because she knows how much she means to me. She has been on the other side for about 4 months now. Do you think she will always remember what I told her? I'm moving on its hard but has to be done.
2007-03-29 10:42:53 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
they say the honeymoon stage lasts about a year give or take a few months, so until she is finished with him, it is doubtful she will think of what u said, but once she sees life the way it really is she will probably want to come back. don't blame yourself for any of this, married life has its ups and Downs, everything isn't exciting, and wonderful all of the time. she will get tired of him too, when she's been with him awhile, or when she sees he's not Mr perfect either. when u begged her to stay and promised changes, she should have at least given u the benefit of the doubt and tried, so the problem wasn't with u, its her and if she is seeking sparks, and everything to be perfect, she is going to get a rude awaking, she will remember what u said, and she may try to come back when ever they have any problem.
2007-03-29 10:54:26 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow. I am so sorry you're going through this. However, I think you shouln't beat yourself up over what happened. If you became a good father, that's nothin to apologize about. I guess she's the one who didn't understand that it's kids first and everything else second. I know it's hard to balance a good relationship along with good parenthood, but it sounds like you're the best dad a kid could ever hope for. Wish my dad had been half as devoted as you are. Your ex-wife will always remember those words you told her. And down the road, when she finds out that she let the best thing in her life slip right through her fingers, those words are gonna resonate in her ears. Sure maybe you had lost some of that spark, but she should have confided in you enough to share those feelings with you.But she bottled them up until she burst, when she should have communicated with you the most. It's not your fault she let things get to that point. Keep being a good dad. Time heals everything. I know you can't even think of starting a relationship with anyone right now, nor should you rush into it for the sake of not being alone, but when the right one comes along one day, you'll know it's okay to love again.
2007-03-29 10:57:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, speaking, I am very sorry that you are going through this. My "ex" husband told me the same thing 5 years ago and I know for a fact that no matter who I'm with, no one will ever love me more than he did.......We also have two children together and I recently had a baby boy. I know it still hurts him to this present day and I sometimes regret failing him and our children, although they were younger then. I honestly think your wife will always remember and take those words with her. When you hurt someone especially the way she did, you can not forget the love and pain you leave behind....It's going to take alot of time for you to ever be okay, but I wish you the best and now you need to be strong for your children. If it hasn't been about her in a long time please don't make it about her now and cause suffering to you and your children. This is something you and your children didn't deserve. Find your peace of mind and allow her judgement to be called on through GOD!!!!
Best of luck**********
2007-03-29 11:17:32 · answer #3 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been fond of that saying. Because if she didn't want you and your love why would she want someone just like you? I've been told that before, and I don't miss them. In fact, after years of time between the incidents, I think they are comical for even suggesting that their love was the end all be all of love. Frankly when someone says that it is only pain and anger speaking and a pot shot that you hope they will be miserable.
Yes, she will remember it. But it is doubtful it will mean anything to her.
I am sorry she did this to you. It isn't right, and it isn't fair. But what's done is done, and all you can do is live and learn. I hope you cope and move on swiftly. Focus on your children, focus on your own mental health, that is what is important now.
2007-03-29 10:58:59 · answer #4 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... Um... She will most likely always remember what you said to her. Especially since you said she teared up when you said it to her. It obviously sent a lot of emotion through her, which normally if something is that strong with emotion to make a person cry they will never forget it. It's good that you are trying to move on. I know it must be hard for you, but it's better than just sitting around and moping about losing her. Good luck with everything, I hope it all works out for the best. :)
2007-03-29 10:50:14 · answer #5 · answered by punkxrocker3 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would love to color you a wonderful picture of regret and reverse fantasy, however, I doubt that she even thinks of you. This might be a inaccurate statement if you still have the kids. That's blood relation and is difficult to forget. If not impossible. When she thinks of them she will not have a choice but to think of you! Love is an action. Once this action stops, or is focused toward another, then that's where all thought is focused. Sorry!
2007-03-29 10:51:42 · answer #6 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i believe she is just selfish, wanting to satisfy her own needs. even though you forgot to keep the spark going, she could of told you, and make things work. when you said that to her, of course she'd cry because you've been together for 17 years, so either its' her guilt that she crying for, or the love that you have given her. as long as the other guy is satisfying her then, shell forget what you told her, but if not, then theres a chance she wants to come back.
2007-03-29 12:19:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im so sorry. Im going through something similar with my husband of 12 years, also hight school sweethearts. Its so hard. Its only been 2 days for me though since he said he doesnt love me anymore. I have never been more devasted in my life. Im pleading also for my husband, but he works out of state and its hard not to be able to talk to him face to face. Im sure what you tell her she will remember. I told my husband something like that the other night when he called me. I told him that we here truly love him and that whatever he does or is doing is not going to necessarily make him happier. Me and his 4 children love him so much and he is throwing us away for a reason Im still in the dark about except that he is just doesnt love me.Once again Im sorry about your pain, and I hope it all works out for you in the end.
2007-03-29 10:56:59 · answer #8 · answered by Blondi 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry about what happened. At least you realized what you did wrong. Your ex-wife will probably remember that if the other guy becomes tired of her that is if their thing was just out of lust and physical/emotional need. Yes move on you deserve a second chance as well.
2007-03-29 10:49:11 · answer #9 · answered by Batman 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry partner, it would be nice to think that would hold true, but if the truth is she no longer loves you and feels love towards her new man, she WILL focus on him, not on you. At least, for the time being, keep on keeping on brother lifes a garden, dig it!
2007-03-29 10:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋