Should a man say something to his friend if he knows he is being abusive to his wife?

Question

or should the guy stay out of it?

Answer 1

Well ... it all depends on the relationship between the two men. It also depends on how you find out about the abuse. Has it in fact been witnessed by the friend of the abuser or is it something the abuser's wife is saying (but no one has witnessed it), is the entire thing simply a rumour .... etc. You really have to be aware of a lot facts before getting involved.

I really feel that this is a difficult call to make. First off I think I would speak to the wife and find out what she has been doing about getting help. It really should be her decision to get away from her abuser. At that point the friend can help the wife seek refuge somewhere and help her with getting in touch with the proper authorities.

After this has been put in place ... if the friend still cares enough to help the abuser get help with his behaviour then by all means ... do so.

Marriages are not for everyone to mix in. I know from a police officer friend of mine that often the police officer who goes out on a domestic violence call will be lashed out at by the abused wife once the abuser is taken into custody. Many women need to get to a certain point in their relationship before they actually see the light and will accept help.

You are a kind soul for being concerned about this situation but I believe the best way to handle it is to help the abused woman before the abuser goes too far and then it's too late.

Glad to see that there are still some people out there with a social conscience .... kudos my friend!

Answer 2

Yes. If they know something is going on, they should say something. That way, if the man doesn't stop, the friend can say that he'll step in and call the cops on the guy. He needs to know that his behavior is unacceptable.

Answer 3

I'd say something. Ask him what's been bugging him, and if he says, "Nothing," call him a liar- "Something's obviously bugging you- the Mrs is afraid of you, and there's gotta be a reason..."

Make him acknowledge that he's been hitting ("teaching her a lesson," or whatever euphemism he uses) her, then go from there.

Make sure you couch what you say in terms of caring about him- "I don't want to see you go to jail just because your wife burnt the meatloaf..."

Answer 4

The man might save the gal's life by saying something. Hopefully the guy would also encourage the gal to get out of that relationship while she still can.

Answer 5

I think he should. Sit him down and say something along the lines of "look man, I am your friend, and I care about you and I'm seeing some behavior from you that worries me." And then let the guy know it's not ok to hit women!

Answer 6

A true friend should confront the man who is abusive to his wife.Perhaps he needs anger management classes.

Answer 7

He should say something.....thats being a friend to the man and the woman

Answer 8

If the man who knows about the abuse does nothing,he is just as guilty.Whether the abuse is physical,emotional ,verdal,etc. abuse is wrong.The man should first have an old-style one on one with his friend and whileis friend is sleeping on the ground notify the police.

Answer 9

I think he should say something. Expecially if the abuser might possibly listen to this friend. It never hurts to try. Too many people say it's not my problem and turn away.

Answer 10

I wont tell.
My friend dated other woman. I knew this, iI even lend him my house so that he had a place to do his things.

I did not agree with what he did but I didnt tell his wife. Later he told her. She was angry also with me for not telling.

Still I dont think I should have report him, it is his responsability to do that.