I am 11 weeks and I am and have always been a career minded woman. I am debating the whole stay at home thing, ideally this is what I love but my income is 50% of the household and we would have to stretch to survive on my husbands income, even though this is what he wants. I also work for a excellent univresity in Boston that will pay for my childs tuition, (I know this is 18 yrs from now) and has great benefits.. I just cant imagine leaving my baby and going to work everyday, I know this is selfsih, anyone else in the same position or was????
2007-03-29 09:10:44 · 17 answers · asked by Bored 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
work as long as you can. after you have the baby, stay home until you feel ready to go back. it's really all going to depend on you and the baby. good luck.
2007-03-29 09:15:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have loved to stay at home too, but my income was the only income. Did you ever consider how much daycare will cost you? I know that sometimes it is not worth it to work while most of your income is just going to pay for someone else to watch your baby. I think if your worried about your lifestyle you should try to go back to work and really give it at least a month..at first you will feel guilty for leaving your child..everyone does..it is normal..then this will give you time to figure out if this is what you truly desire. Or what you could do is see if your position could become either part-time or at least part-time from home. A lot of working mothers now do a lot of remote work, just depends on your position. The most important thing to do is pray over it...start now and wait for an answer...and remember what ever your choice is, the Lord will always provide.
Blessings
2007-03-29 16:33:13 · answer #2 · answered by rissa_pm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have done both. I worked up until the last year. I LOVED having a job and my children. But I also LOVE being the one who is here anytime they need anything. I struggled for a long time with it. I know that while I was working I had the satisfaction of doing something as well as being a mommy. Now that I have been home I see how much I was missing. It was like remeeting my kids all over again. So many things that I missed. After school talks. And evenings were so rushed when I was working full time. I say try it out while you have maternaty leave and if you love run with it if you feel you are missing the satisfaction of work then you can do both. It isn't selfish it is a personal choice.
2007-03-29 16:18:01 · answer #3 · answered by Joni L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am pregnant with my 2nd baby now. I work full time and my grandma keeps my son. It has been a wonderful arraignment so far, but there is just no way she can keep two kids one being a newborn, so I have been checking into daycare and daycare is more than half of my check every week, I think I am going to stay home, at least until they both go to school. It is going to strap us becuase I bring home about half of the familys income now I am facing the same problem as you, just not sure what I want to do yet. I just want to wish you best of luck and let you know, you are not the only one going through this right now.
2007-03-29 16:30:11 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat. I am at 16 weeks. We live in an area where the cost of living is high, so I'm not sure we could survive on one income. But on the flipside, daycare is OUTRAGEOUSLY high here. And I can't bring myself to put this baby in daycare and not see it for 8 hours a day (9 with my commute). I was a stay at home mom with my first two, and I would feel like I was cheating this one.
DH and I are trying to come up with a flexible schedule. Fortunately, both our bosses are very nice and willing to work with us in order to keep us. We hope to find someone trustworthy to care for the baby in our home for a few hours a day, and we will work around the rest.
We have about 5 months to figure it out. But I know exactly how you feel.
2007-03-29 16:27:09 · answer #5 · answered by Sarena M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately i never had the option to stay home with my son as i was a single mother. I was hospitalized for 5 weeks prior to giving birth to a baby that was 6 weeks preemie and 3lbs. I spent 15 scary days driving back and forth to the hospital's NICU before he could come home. I spent another week at home with him before i was so financially strapped i didnt know how i was going to survive. Luckily a friend came to the rescue she and i both worked for the same company (she only worked part time as she was pregnant too) and our boss who was totally understanding he allowed me to come back part time onher days off so she could watch my son until he was old enough to go into daycare. Somehow i found the most wonderful daycare on earth and as soon as my son was 6 weeks old he was there. The people were phenomenal there they treated him jsut like he was one of their own (which made an overly emotional mom like myself feel much more at ease) and had no problem with me calling 5 or 6 times a day to check on him.
My son is almost 4 and still in the same daycare with many of the same people who still love him like their own. I have found that being in a social setting before "big school" as we call it has helped my son tremendously now i dont worry that he will be socially overwhelmed when he goes to kindergarden or be overly sick. The younger children are exposed to sommon germs the easier they buid an immunity to them. My friends daughter stayed with her grandma until she was three and then went to daycare and spent about the first 5 or 6 months sick because she had never been exposed to many commen germs.
I hope this helps somewhat afterall you are not facing an easy decision but it seems you have weighed out the pros and cons pretty well. Keep in mind if you do chose to work that in the beginning it will be difficult but eventually you will look forward to getting out of the house and having some adult conversation!
2007-03-29 16:52:23 · answer #6 · answered by Liz A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can decide during your maternity leave. One second you are frustrated as how difficult the baby is , but the next second you want to stay with the baby for as long as you are able to. Babies grow up in a short while. We have all the chance to start a career (especially when you have already established a successful one) again when the kids start to have his or her own activities, but, we will miss the chance to see how fast they can grow. Baby learn new things everyday! So, if you cannot afford to lose a job, negotiate for a part-time job. You won't regret the time you spend with your baby.
2007-03-29 17:05:42 · answer #7 · answered by jiin l 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can at all afford to stay at home, I'd say that's a wonderful thing to pass up. So many women wish they could afford it, but just can't.
Me, I'm planning a compromise on this. I'm going to work until I give birth (so long as my health allows) and then after the first couple of months of getting used to being a mommy, I'll be setting up my own little consulting business as a graphic designer (what I do full-time now) and just working as much or as little as I feel comfortable from home.
What I'm saying is - you don't have to look at this as a work full-time away from home or not at all - there are LOTS of work-at-home, or work part-time options to look into.
2007-03-29 16:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by daisyk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a 3 year old daughter and I'm 31 weeks with my second. I work full time, and i couldn't think of doing anything else. Me and my daughter have a very close bond, but she also has friends that she loves to play with. Our time together is better this way too, because I don't take it for granted and neither does she. I also plan on working up until I go into labor, or am forced to stop (by a doctor) and will go back to working asap after the baby is born. I don't think that it's selfish to want to work. My mother ALWAYS had a full time job, and we NEVER thought anything less of her for it. I understand that children need time to bond with their mothers, and they do, but they also need to develope social bonds with other kids...otherwise what are they going to do when they get into school? I would tell you to go with your heart, if you want to work there is nothing wrong with that.
2007-03-29 16:35:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation when my oldest was born. My husband and I both worked full time and we were pretty certain we could not survive on one salary alone! We decided I would take three months off from work and then I would come back to a night shift so one of us would always be home with our son. We started saving money like crazy to get ready for three months of lost income and we found that in four months time we were able to put aside enough money to equal four months of my salary!! We were shocked!
After my son was born, I stayed home for three months. Then I returned to work for two days!! After the second day I confessed to my husband that I couldn't stand being away from my son all day! He told me to go ahead and quit!! So I quit, we cinched in our belts and I have been a stay at home mom ever since!
I don't think it is selfish to want to be home with your child. It's good to be there to raise them during their formative years! You will be surprised to see how easily you can adjust to a lower income level. Sure you have to do without the daily latte and things like that, but it is definitely worth it!!
2007-03-29 16:24:10 · answer #10 · answered by western b 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
After having the baby you will feel that spiecal bond between mother and child. But after the 6 week being off you will be ready to go back to work. Plus, it is hard to find good jobs NOW. Good Luck . A mother of 4 kids
2007-03-29 16:23:11 · answer #11 · answered by diana h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋