I just got married 5 mos ago is it appropriate for my husband to smack other's butts?

Question

My husband and I play on a pool league for a local bar. He seems to think its no big deal when he touches the other girls on the teams butts and they in turn touch his some of them are married & some aren't. He says they are just joking and it doesnt mean anything. He says i'm overreacting and should loosen up becasue none of them think anything about it. Am I wrong in thinking this in appropriate?

Answer 1

Only if he is drunk, trying to get a threeway, or both.

Answer 2

Are you sure it isn't a baseball league? Were you on the team before you got married? and was he smacking butts then? And if so, then did you just let him do it without saying anything? If this is the case, then that's probably why he thinks it's ok. If he just started doing this, then speak up now. Say: "I don't liek it when you smack others butts." Are there guys on this team and does he smack their butts, too? He has to play fair with the smacking if he is going to do this. So, here's what you need to do if he isn't listening to you: Start smacking people's butts, both boys and girls. Definitely don't hesitate with the boys, either. That should get him to stop. HE won't admit that it bugs him at first (guys hide things like that for a while), so keep doing it. Personally, I think it's weird to smack anyone's butt unless that person is your child or your beau. It isn't a major league.

Answer 3

Well I agree with the majority that it is inappropriate, but i also believe it is disrespectful to you and to the other spouses in every way. There is also the question of how would he and the other women react if you started doing it to other men and their husbands. I'm not saying to do it because it would only bring you down on his level. I'm saying just question him and see and if there is a protest, then remind him of the vows he made 5 months ago. See, when you make those vows, your making promises, that no matter what anyone says, are not meant to be broken. To love, honor, and cherish you till death do you part meant that he promised to love you more than beer and sports, honor, or respect, you enough not to act irrationally like that when you've asked repeatedly for him not to, and to cherish you, or to put you above all else, especially slapping other women on the butt. But if it is just one of those things that he can't live without doing, then tell him that you have 2 cheeks and he has 2 hands and to have all the fun he wants, but to leave the others alone for good. And if this doesn't work, then that means it is time for you to give him the ultimatum, them or you! So good luck and farewell. And just for future reference, I'm velocity's husband.

Answer 4

it is inappropriate. of course you are right. why will he say honey you are right, if he has been getting away with it? i'm sure this didn't start 5 months ago. if not, then you kind of had it coming. but, besides that, he is married to you, not to the rest of the teams asses.

just tell him. well, since you see nothing wrong with it, then i guess i will join in on the team spirit. tell him that you will have the other male team members and the husbands of the skanks give you a little smak for good luck sake.

see how he likes that.

what the hell team is this, where women don't respect other womens marriages?

lord help us all..what state are you in again dear?

Answer 5

Hell NO!! I would be stomping his face in as soon as we came home from the place he smacked a-ss at. He also could be testing you to see how far you will go. OFF THE BAT I WOULD FAIL! don't let him do such things. I don' think he would like it if you went of doing the same. If he wasn't ready to not be single anymore. He should not have made a commitment. Take my advice. I feel for you. My Ex did the same til I found the stash of phone numbers in his pocket and left his sorry A_S_S!!

Answer 6

It's been my experience that the A-Typical American Male engages in posterior slapping when engaged in a sporting activity. However this is usually done to members of the same gender, often hinting to latent homosexuality. That this team comprises female members is an oddity but does not intrinsically constitute an unfaithful act by your spouse. Ask yourself these two questions, they may illuminate the situation.

Are there any other men on the team?
Does he slap their Butts?

Answer 7

No, if it makes you uncomfortable then that's it. Some wives would not care and some would. If you do, let your husband know it just really bugs you, and even though it's not really serious, you just don't think it's behavior fitting of a husband. Try talking to the ladies about it as well, calmly, just let them know it makes you feel odd and if some of them are married they should understand.

Answer 8

How would he feel if the men on the team did the same to you or if you started this with the other guys on the team? I bet he would think that was inappropriate. This is a goose gander thing - Its ok for him but in his eyes it would be wrong for you. Does that make sense?

Answer 9

You're absolutely NOT over-reacting. That is very disrespectful, to you and to the other women. If the other women don't have a problem with it, then you definately should. I'm a pretty lenient wife, but I would NOT approve of that. Even if he has and never will cheat on you, that is still disrespectful to you. Tell him the least he can is have enough respect for you to NOT do that.

Answer 10

I do believe that this is inapropriate behavior. He should respect you enough not to do that. He should also respect the other women on the team and keep his hands off of their butts. You may not be the only person with a problem with it. Ask around. More important, ask him to stop.

Answer 11

It's common in competitive leagues to smack each other on the butts . If you have told your husband that it bothers you, he should respect your wishes and stop.