Am i doing something wrong?

Question

Why does this always happen to me?
I am a really nice, sweet, and caring person. If i consider somone my friend i treat them with kindness and respect. I expect the same in return. It seems like whenever I am in a realtionship I am always "used." It seems like people take advantage of my kindness. Every girlfriend I have had has either cheated, or gone completly psycho. All of these girls seem normal, and then like 4 months into it **** goes sour. Is this a result of my kindness? Am i being too nice or am I just meeting the wrong people? I dont want to change the way I am because people are *******. this really sucks.

Answer 1

Could be a combination of you being too nice and meeting the wrong people.
Hang in there though, the right girl will come along!

Answer 2

For all anyone knows you could be a serial killer.

Why are you asking for affirmation in such a way?

Would you want a serial killer, who keeps people in a cellar for 4 months, to be applauded? Not me.

So, just in case your a serial killer, like the one that stabbed me and etc., I will not affirm that nice guys get dumped on.

Instead, I will without reservation say: Serial killers think they are nice most of the time; you should be getting affirmation from those that know you really well, not relying on strangers for emotional support. After all, being alone all the time typing away on the Internet could lead some to become serial killers after they go boinkers. Get a life before anything bad happens.

I for one like you.

Really.

OK, well at least better than the serial killer that doped me and then stabbed me in the liver.

So, let's keep it that way shall we?

Really, relationships aren't that hard these days. Be a conservative, think like your told and have no personal aspirations and you'll do well. (Otherwise your liberal self is well on your way to being date rape drugged and framed as a sexual predator / given impossible child support and etc.)

Really. Get nice stuff and stay clean. You'll make out until it's either you or the dope dealer down the street cause he needs your liver (you know the dope dealer that lived and thus has enough money to buy your liver from the conservative court who will rule that because you're nuts enough to live next to a success-full drug dealer and vote conservative you are a "Bates -v- Sleeper" sorry you've no adequate medical rights class person - (believe it or not this is established Maine case law - some conservative courts!!!!!)

Evidently, I'll like you better that way.

You care what I think right?

Answer 3

I think that the mix of you being so nice and girls being complete idiots now a days is what your problem is... You can be the nicest person in the world if you want but you need to know your limits and be a little forceful and not so easily taken advantage of. Also you need to look around at the girls that you are friends with that you know personally and know aren't complete psychos like you said the girls you go out with turn into. If you don't like the idea of dating a best friend then you might need to lower your standards a little because a lot of the "perfect" girls from my experiences are not really perfect at all... Well I think that's all the advice I can give... if it completely sucks...I'm sorry!

Answer 4

Not everyone in this world unfortunately has your sense of values. and it is sad.. i know what you mean..
No matter what age, hate to inform you , you will meet some like what you have experienced. Youth has no hold on this one.
There are men and women who could care less how they act or treat others.. but, don't give up.. there are some out there too that are like you..
Maybe ask yourself... where am i going to find these people?
and , change your location .. Sometimes look deeper in yourself..that helps.
People cheat i feel for a few reasons..
1. they want to
2. they think can get away with
3. they don't care
4. want to break up a relationship, coward anyway else..
5. no morals
6. no commitment
perhaps other reasons but, you get the drift..
as for respecting you.. setting healthy boundaries with others shows them you have established who you are and a strong value system. They either will draw near, or leave..
be a beacon to others, not a bug lite..
good luck..

Answer 5

Don't change! If you are as genuinely nice as you say you are, then that is something to be really proud of.

The saying goes, all the girls like the guys that treat them bad, well if they like that, let them bugger off and find some toss pot to be with.

Perhaps you fall in love deeply really quickly, and devote all of your time and energy into your relationships? Sometimes, girls don't like it when a relationship gets too full on too fast. Maybe you wanna just enjoy the moment, and pull back a little, don't spend every waking hour with them, keep some time back for you, and your mates.

Good luck, and remember, don't change who you are for anyone.

Answer 6

I think it is a combination of both being too nice & meeting the wrong people.

The problem with a lot of people in this world is that they see a nice person & they take advantage of that. There are people in the world who respect & appreciate nice people. Unfortunately, you don't seem to have found any yet.

What you need to do is learn to be more assertive... Learn to say no to people! It's hard, trust me i know!

I used to be in your shoes. When i was in high school I was taken advantage of by A LOT of people. Especially girls who just saw me as the "nice guy" who knew i'd do anything to help them out. I drew the line when a girl i liked used me to make another guy jealous so he'd ask her out. That was when i knew i had to stop being too nice to people & only be nice to the people who showed me they deserved it.

I know it sounds kind of rude to only be nice to people who deserve it, but i'm not saying to be rude to everyone else. You can still be polite with people without being too nice. The only people who deserve an overly-kind attitude from you are people who you know are around you because they cherish your friendship & want to be a part of your life.

Answer 7

Never change who you are--you are just meeting the wrong people, definitely. There is no other way to treat someone except for kindness and respect and it's their flaws that are messing up the relationship. People are who they are regardless if you are kind or not--by changing who you are to try and "keep" someone you are not being true to yourself and they will not change for the better either. Stay who you are and you WILL find someone who will accept you for you, appreciate you, and treat you like gold. Good luck!!

Answer 8

Guess what? People are Alpha Hotels. Get used to it.

To keep from being taken adavantage of, you should clearly think through what the person is telling you. Does it jibe with what you've heard from this person already? Do you really know this person?

Be careful. You don't have to change the way you are, but add a layer of common sense and caution to your thought process.

Answer 9

It is the people you are meeting.... I am a lot like you. Friends have used me.... men have abused me. But then when you think there is nothing else or no one else..... they will come along. And your personalities with match. I have learned to have a bit more of a backbone in life and I am very gaurded with who I am friends with and the people I do let into my life because of how many times I have been burned.... but you will know when the friend or the significant other you meet is trustworthy and you will want to give them all you can and they will not abuse you for it.

Stay strong..... for yourself......

Answer 10

i was wondering the same thing myself!! want to go out??? lol good luck to you i really don't think there is an answer to this ? other than peoples values have really been lost now days its sad but hang in there i do believe thee is someone out there for everyone maybe i am just a lush but anyway good luck to you and don't let people walk all over you if that is the kind of Pearson they are they don't need to be part of your life.