Why do we have a very high divorce rate?

Question

You get married today, have a good time for a few months, and you have a blazing row with your partner for something silly in most cases, or you found your partner cheating on you, and your next option.. Divorce..Why do we treat the once much respected institution of Marriage this way? What can we do to stop this happening daily in our society?

Answer 1

We've been happily married 36 years, and I guarantee you, a lack of ANY of the following could spell defeat for any relationship:

1) A long list of common interests; things you both enjoy doing TOGETHER as opposed to separate interests and separate groups of friends.

2) A lot of tolerance for each other's differences. As much as you share in common, you're still going to rub one another wrong from time to time. Be mature and deal with it. Separate the small $h!t from the serious stuff.

3) A sense of compromise; so that you can work out your problems with a minimum of emotional trauma. It's marital negotiation.

4) A sense of sympathy and forgiveness. You're both going to screw up on occasion. You need to be able to forgive, forget, and move on with the relationship.

Answer 2

There are a million and one reasons...I will list the first few that come into my mind:

Women these days think they are the be all and end all. Back in the days, there were just grateful to be married, to stay at home all day and to run things in the house...nowadays, they want to be out working, going for after work drinks, socialising with friends etc...this brings the need for even more freedom, which is when they then realise they're bored and want out...so either leave, or cheat...hence the divorce. There are more opportunities for women these days, they don't have to be married and raise kids...and it seems that many don't want to either!

Also, couples don't seem to respect each other anymore...or marriage as the institution that it was and should still be. It's OK to cheat, to go out drinking all night and make silly mistakes etc etc...marriage is seen as "a bit of paper" so people don't do it, and when they do do it, it's for the wrong reasons...hence the divorce.

As for what can we do to stop it happening....I think it should be harder to get married, and harder to get divorced. People do it when they're too young, too inexperienced and they don't think it through....also, as you say, if something happens, divorce is a quick option...when it actually should be the last resort.

I'm a woman, I have two children and I'm not married to my partner. He was married before he met me, and has been put off, so doesn't want to do it again. I believe in marriage 110% and am gutted that he feels this way, because I take marriage seriously, and hate not being married and having children who don't share my surname.

Answer 3

People dont seem to take the marriage vows seriously. They have a problem, and instead of sitting down & trying to sort it out they run to the lawyer. Divorce is made an easy option.
I think that people get carried away with the marriage thing, and have to have the most lavish expensive weddings, it is a bit keep up with the Jones's, or we have to do bigger & better than the Jones's. I dont see what is wrong with a smaller wedding, and the money saved could be put into the new home, or in the bank so that the debts are not something to cause rows, stress etc, which then lead to arguements leading to divorce!

Answer 4

There are several reasons we have such a high divorce rate. I was married for 22 years and been divorced for 16 so I think I have a pretty decent perspective on this. Here are some of the main reasons: 1. not getting to know the real person before marriage (lust is NOT love), 2. self-centeredness 3 unwilling to compromise 4. looking for easy solution 5. not honoring committments 6. dishonesty 7. lack of trust 8. poor communication 9. being unforgiving 10. putting almost everything into other interests (includes career) before your marriage partner.

We could perhaps lessen the divorce rate if we had better parenting skills to teach our children moral values and also show our children that there are consequences to everything you do---make sound decisions and the consequences should be good.

Answer 5

Because people rush into relationships too fast these days. Back when the men courted the women for more than a few months and they loved each other and knew everything about them. Now we date someone for a short period of time without even knowing them as friends first and get married when we think we should be settled down by that time. People lost site of true love somewhere along the way and just started marrying people for other reasons. I dont think that we can stop this from happening because of how long this has been going on. The only thing that an individual can do is to keep the idea of true love set in their mind and maybe it could start a chain reaction. Who really knows...but I hope that helped...

Answer 6

You can't stop this from happening. Many people are very stubborn. In order to make a marriage work, both the husband as well as the wife have to WANT to make it work. First of all noone should get married just for the sake of being married. Second, if there is no communication or trust, there isn't really a relationship. Last but not least, if there is no REAL LOVE they cannot even think that they could overcome any obstacles.

Answer 7

Americans are too picky nowadays. People tend to think that relationship have to be perfect. Another reason we have a high divorce rate is because women always marry guys that have no business being married in the first place. What women should be looking for is a man who respects her and not how much money he makes or how nice he dresses.

Answer 8

There are steps you can take to actually build a strong, stable marriage and avoid divorce. Read here https://tr.im/olWkD

Here are some key steps to apply to your marriage:

- Start by understanding and being informed.

You can never be too informed about tools, methods and studies about building successful marriages. Understand the risk factors like your age and maturity at marriage can determine how successful it will be, the anatomy of an affair and what you can do after infidelity. Understand the success factors like the personal and psychological circumstances that will influence your marriage, what are the tools and approaches available to you in dealing with conflict, and numerous other relevant data. All this information is readily available to you whether through self-help material, through a counselor, support group or other venues. In fact, we have made it our commitment to provide these to you in different formats to help you make the best marriage you can.

The thing is, remember, this is information is not available for you to begin hyper-psychoanalyzing your relationship, yourself and your partner. It's not a matter of spewing trivia for the sake of conversation ' information is there for you to ponder over and internalize to help you transform yourself and your marriage. That includes maturing to such a point that you become more competent in your knowledge but more prudent in approach.

Answer 9

I think that divorce is just widely accepted now. Americans have the highest divorce rate, over 50% I believe. Most families are living with only one parent in the house.

I do know that in my culture (Hmong), it is highly forbidden and looked down upon to be a divorced woman. It's okay for men to be divorced, but for a woman, it's like the scarlet letter. Your husband can cheat, lie and abuse you, and you as a woman do not have a right to ask for a divorce. In many cultures, it is more important to save the faces and honor of their family then to be free of an abusive man; therefore, the low divorce rate.

Answer 10

Most people go into a marriage with the thought that if it doesn't work out there is always divorce. It isn't until death to us part anymore. It now is more like until I get tired of you. Marriage is hard sometimes. Everyone has highs and lows. If we could only learn that we have to give in a marriage and not just take things could be different.