When love first starts you are all a glow, full of hope. Then life happens and the treadmill of laundry, work, cleaning, chores takes over. No matter how well intentioned we take each other for granted, have the same arguments over and over, and loose that heat for sex.
Is it really possible to live happily ever after or are all relationships destined for dulldum?
2007-03-29 03:40:03 · 27 answers · asked by Eva Dark 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think most relationships hit the dulldrums. I don't know what to do to get out of the rut.
2007-03-29 03:43:07 · answer #1 · answered by Mike S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES.
But it requires work. thus no one wants to do it.
You said best all a glow, and full hope, during this time nothing nor anyone can come between you, thus the passion.
After marriage, all those things you mentioned start coming between the two of you. that's when the problems start.
I'm divorced once my wife twice. Having learned some value able lesson between 3 marriages here's the best one.
No one not even our kids are placed above our relationship. As all but the 16 yo has grown and left home, my wife and I are still connected. it's not a stranger setting across the table from me.
We still go on dates, hold hands, kiss in public, she's the last love I'll ever have. We take long rides and just talk about our future together, our kids and grand kids
Sounds like that glow you were talking about? sounds like we just met?
Were newlyweds going on 12 years now
P.S. Were both employed full time she works for the state and I'm an Investigator fpr an atty.
Hope this helps
2007-03-29 03:53:20 · answer #2 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriages/relationships take hard work. The honeymoon cannot last forever. We live in a real world and people have to face that reality. The up side is that you can create happy, meaningful moments together and still love each other. The relationship does not have to be dull, but the most beautiful moment in a relationship is when you get to the point when the two of you can just sit together, absorbed in your own individual thoughts but still feel that sense of understanding where you don't need words. It's just the natural cycle of love and life. learn to make your own fun. The happier and more fulfilled you feel as an individual, the happier you will feel in the relationship.
2007-03-29 03:51:28 · answer #3 · answered by bombastic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that's why many people go through a lot of relationships - always wanting to enjoy that first heady excitement of romance.
Hope can still continue in a long-term relationship if the couple keep setting new joint goals to work towards together. They could work with each other to make life fun but in reality, work and other responsibilities get in the way.
The nice thing about a lasting union is having so many things to look back on together. But a bit of romance would make the relationship feel less lacklustre.
2007-03-29 03:51:33 · answer #4 · answered by pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible. Sometimes it takes serious issues to bring you closer. My wife and I lived together to 1 1/2 years before getting married and she died two weeks before our 11 aniv. That was almost 10 years ago, and to this day I can't remember one argument we had or even a fight. We we a match made through heaven and it was the bet of times. It takes allot of giving and taking, communication and being best friends. There was never a dull moment in our marriage which would still be awesome if she was still here.
Your not guaranteed anything but when you know its right and the light from above is shining so bright and everyone is happy.
2007-03-29 03:49:10 · answer #5 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny thing is that even knowing the grind of daily life will take a toll you can't stop it from happening. What you can do is once you realize the shine has come off your relationship make a choice. Half the people in the U.S. make the choice to go looking for something new and shiny. The other half look at their relationship and find some way to polish it up again.
I always think of a quote from a book I read when life's taking a toll on my marriage. "The courting didn't stop with the marriage."
2007-03-29 03:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by Critter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are hard work what you do to get them is what you do to keep them, if something annoys you in the beginning you need to let them no so it won't be a nusiuance later on in the relationship. You have to keep the passion burning if thats what you want or the love will be lost But yea there can be a happily ever after, it just take a lot of work.
2007-03-29 03:47:06 · answer #7 · answered by Kbella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. But YOU have to make it happen.
My wife and I got into the same rut everyone does. People crave excitement and novelty. Thankfully neither of us had an affair (which so many do) and instead we realized that WE as individuals have to make it happen.
Every single day - make sure your husband knows you love him. Tell him what a sexy man he is. Grab his rear. Give him a saucy kiss. Whip out a fancy new toy in the bedroom and don't take no for an answer.
It might take a while but he'll catch on......
Your life is whatever YOU choose to make it. If you just sit there waiting for it to happen, it probably won't. Make it exciting. That doesn't mean ignore your responsibilities - far from it. One of your principal responsibilities as a wife is maintaining your marriage. Probably both of you have slacked off in this.
I guarantee after a couple of weeks of you being like that he will begin reciprocating. It is worth it - I promise.
2007-03-29 03:46:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's a shame you feel like this because after over 25 years of being together, I'm still in love and very happy with my gorgeous husband. My mother always said that you had to work at a happy marriage, never go to bed on a row (even if you stay up until 4am getting resolution) and the aim of the marriage is not to make YOURSELF happy, but to make your spouse happy. And that he should feel the same way too. That way, you're both putting the other person's desires first. OK, sounds like hard work and why bother, etc., and we all get off-days but, believe me, if you keep honesty and trust in a marriage, try to make the other person's day pleasant and comfortable and always, always try to make up a row before sleeping on it then I think you're halfway there.
sorry if I sound a bit happy-clappy but I really do think you can make love last. It changes after a time, isn't as heartstoppingly stomach-churningly ecstatic as in the beginning, but it changes to a warm feeling of being at peace with someone.
Good luck, I hope you find this some day.
2007-03-29 03:47:30 · answer #9 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are a select few who get that happily ever after feeling or so they say,I think there are still arguments and so forth, but all in all you are happy and wouldn't want to be anywhere else with anyone else. They still make your heart skip a beat when they walk in the room, you still have an intimate relationship and love each other so much you'd nevr do anything to intentionally hurt them.
2007-03-29 03:48:13 · answer #10 · answered by countrygrl278 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course there can be a happily ever after. Every marriage goes througjh those valleys it is to be expected. You have to climb out of the valley before you can get back to the mountain top. It other words, it is going to take a little work. My husband and I both work full time jobs, we have 4 children, I run a teen ministry, and he runs a drug and alcohol program, we find ourselves getting busier and busier with less time for one another. But, we always take one evening a week for each other. We usually go to a nice dinner, well it is sometimes taco bell, but we still eat inside. :-) But we take the time to focus on each other, that is what keeps us going and gets us through those valleys.
2007-03-29 03:54:15 · answer #11 · answered by michy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋