Your best firend told you last year that he was gay and everybody found out and now everybody talks crap about him when he is not around and they do it right in fornt of your face.
Help need good advice.
2007-03-29 03:39:37 · 42 answers · asked by Kali S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Tell them all to grow up and put your foot down...I would ditch those people who are talking bad about him b/c they obviously aren't very good friends.
2007-03-29 03:41:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What would I do if my best friend is gay?... Nothing. I am of the opinion that what consenting adults do in their "bedroom" in none of anybody's business but their own.
It's a shame that "everybody" talks crap about your friend. If anyone started talking "crap" to my face about a friend (specially my best friend), whether gay or not, I would just leave without saying a word and depending on the narrow-mindedness of the people who talk "crap", I would make a decision whether to ever be around them again.
I don't understand people who base their opinion on others by their sexuality. When I meet someone, I base my opinion of that person on their personality and values. And before anyone writes that gay people have no values, that is a very unfair generalisation and is in no way a fact.
2007-03-29 05:30:31 · answer #2 · answered by spock070460 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the big deal? Is this person your friend or not? Would you want a friend to tell you people were talking badly about you behind your back?
If you are worried that your other "friends" will think you're gay because you stand up to them on your gay friends behalf, then you need new friends. Your current friends are shallow, homo-phobic, chickens. Or maybe your friends are gay and just don't have the guts to come out of the closet.
2007-03-29 03:55:44 · answer #3 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me when in High School. Unfortunately, my best friend at the time had moved away to boarding school, and I handled the situation totally wrong. Please don't do what I did, because I was too immature.
I assume that you are a girl and that your friend is a guy. Is he suddenly not your friend now that he's come out? Is he less there for you? If you needed someone to be there for you, could you count on him? It sounds like he's still your friend, or that at least yous till want to be friends. Stick up for your friend. He'd do it for you.
If you are the same gender as your gay friend and you're uncomfortable with that, then tell them that you want to stay friends, strictly plutonic. Tell them that if any advances on you are made, that the friendship is over.
2007-03-29 03:48:42 · answer #4 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was your best friend a second before he told you he was gay...why would he still not be your best friend a second after?
Those who are talking 'crap' are doing just that...and don't have any decency nor intelligence to do anything else but. Throw them out with next weeks garbage and keep your friendship with your best friend intact...best friends don't come along every day and you may never have another as good as this one. It took a lot of courage for him to come out but he must have had confidence that you wouldn't judge him. That in itself tells you how valuable he believes your friendship is.
Don't let him down, disappoint him or let others speak ignorantly of him around you. They need to grow up and stop acting like the adults who feed them that 'crap'.
2007-03-29 03:54:36 · answer #5 · answered by dustiiart 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stand by that friend 100%. He can't help the way he feels. I know it may be hard but, put yourself in his shoes. If you was in his situation, you would certainly need someone to trust with your feelings. Why are you standing around entertaining what people say behind his back anyway, are you sure you're not talking about him too? A real friend would walk away. If you stand around and listen to all of this, you're already showing him that you're not a real friend. If you can't be this guy's TRUE friend, you need to end it now. It will hurt him if you do it but, it will hurt him even worst if he finds out that you have betrayed him.
2007-03-29 03:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You take the hard path, man. It's easy to walk away from your friend in these hard times. But a true man sticks by their friend's side no matter what people say about him. Be the person that you were meant to be, the friend you know you can be, and support your friend in the face of adversity. He needs your help more than ever now. You're a good man for sticking by his side. It'll all come back on you one day.
2007-03-29 03:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by bitchlips411 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jump at those who are talking and ask them why it's their problem? Does feeding gossip about somebody help them feel less small? Who stood up and made them the arbiter of all that is good?
This is true no matter what gossip, whether true or not, is being passed around about someone you know. Be a friend and stand up! Most petty people who thrive on gossip aren't very nice people and I certainly think you could find better friends.
2007-03-29 03:47:39 · answer #8 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend is gay. He is a wonderful human being who happens to prefer men over women. His gayness is not who he is. He is intelligent, creative, funny, personable and a joy to know. If people talked crap about him to my face I would set them straight (no pun intended). If he is your best friend you know him as a person. You know all his good qualities. He is no different from you and those who criticize him. They do it out of ignorance and sometimes out of fear that his gayness may "rub off". This is an opportunity for you to educate people who are critical of another person's lifestyle. If you don't feel comfortable confronting the ignorance, walk away from it. You don't say how old you are or how you feel about your friend being gay. People who are gay are people who feel the same things non-gay people feel. Luckily there is more awareness these days but, as you see, there is still a stigma attached to the subject. Are you comfortable enough with your friend being gay to help others get to know him as a person instead of a gay person? My friend has been able to help some straight men realize that gay men aren't something to be feared by allowing them to get to know him first before revealing his sexual preference. Are you comfortable enough with yourself and your best friend to help these people who talk crap about him get to know him as a person? If not, that's OK. Just walk away from them. You are being presented with an opportunity to evaluate yourself, your attitudes and how you want to live your life. Do what feels right to you.
2007-03-29 04:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a good friend. What other people say is a reflection of them not him. Be the best person YOU can be and be there for him. He just put himself right out there and will need someone to lean on. If the people are making you uncomfortable and angry with their comments I would tell them as much. Be the better person here. :) Good luck
2007-03-29 03:46:08 · answer #10 · answered by Danger Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask them what the heck their problem is. He's just the same person he was before, just a preference for a different partner. Tell them to shut up, and grow up. Everyone's different but we're all still human., and if they're decent people, they wouldn't be judging others because of who they prefer to be with. I'm sure everyone has something we could make fun of and criticize. Let him be who he is, and if they or you are any kind of a friend, you won't be a jerk, and hurt his feelings.
2007-03-29 03:50:41 · answer #11 · answered by mouse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋