2007-03-29 02:58:11 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Celebrities
Expose yourself, so I can roundhouse kick you in the face....
2007-03-29 02:58:52 · update #1
All the Reasons Why you don't F**k With Chuck Norris.
01.Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06. On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.
07. Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
08. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
09. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
10. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
11. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
12.They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take s**t from anybody.
13. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man's blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the temple delivered by Chuck Norris.
14. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f**k down.
15. Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris taught him some respect with a....you guessed it, a roundhouse kick.
16. When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ***, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
17. China once bordered the United States, until Chuck Norris decided he was sick of the commie bastards and performed a jackie chan impression so accurate that, despite god's feeble attempts to stem the tears of laughter, the pacific ocean was born.
18. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f**k down.
19. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
20. When Chuck Norris was born, he roundhouse kicked the surgeon in the face and said," Only Chuck Norris delivers Chuck Norris!"
So there.
2007-03-29 04:11:35 · answer #1 · answered by Defiance 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why would anyone say that in the first place? Chuck Norris is AWESOME!!! I've been a fan of his since I was 10. Whoever says he's a bad actor I will personally hurt. LOL.
2007-03-29 03:31:36 · answer #2 · answered by Veronica K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I pay attention Chuck Norris bought his soul to the devil for his martial arts skills, appearing ability, and seems no woman can face up to. After the devil agreed to the transaction chuck norris roundhouse kicked him in the face and took his soul lower back.
2016-12-08 13:36:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not the best, Chuck but you aren't the worse. That title is held by Anna Nicole Smith and Pam Anderson. But you are a really great action star!!
2007-03-29 03:13:39 · answer #4 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's my son's favorite actor. He may never win an award, but I think he's a great role model for kids. That's far more important that a dust collector. My son never misses Walker, Texas Ranger.
2007-03-29 04:01:10 · answer #5 · answered by malika 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did! Chuck Norris, nice shiner!
2007-03-29 03:03:10 · answer #6 · answered by brett p 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've said that before. I've said that on "Walker, Texas Ranger" it seems like it hurts him to talk while the others speak freely. He's got great moves but I don't think he'll ever have to worry about winning an Oscar. Now bring it on! :o)
2007-03-29 03:40:34 · answer #7 · answered by Jayna 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
chuck norris knows who said and they will get thiers....chuck norris knows all!
2007-03-29 03:03:48 · answer #8 · answered by ♥NICOLE♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that he is a bad actor. So it was not me.
2007-03-29 04:10:51 · answer #9 · answered by Tony M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dunno who said it but it's a sentiment I agree with! However,I will not be exposing myself,sorry!
2007-03-29 03:03:21 · answer #10 · answered by New Boots. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋