Situation: My bf is paying a lot of money in child support so my future with him is at a very sloooowww pace. He took a new job so his salary is not up there yet but will be in about a year or two so the hopes of us moving on will be then. He says he wants to buy a house, get married and have a family with me but with his salary, he needs to wait.
Question: Do you leave because of the stand still relationship and the slooowww pace or do you stay cause you know he's a good man and someone you would want to grow old with.
I have my answer, just taking some thoughts.
2007-03-29 02:58:08 · 23 answers · asked by Unknown, CA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is money really that important to you? If he's a good guy and loves you (and you love him), I don't see the problem.
2007-03-29 03:01:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would stay. My husband and I have very little money but we do ok with what we have. We make sure we live w/in our means and it works very well. Our bills are paid, I cook a healthy dinner everyday for my children and ourselves. We have nice furniture and clothes. We have 2 cars, one isn't so great anymore but mine is still perfect :)
Point is, stick with him. Things will get better. We started off living in a bedroom at my mom's house, now we live in another state and take care of ourselves 100%. Took us almost 2 yrs. to get out of her house but we did it and have been together for 10 years now. I budget everything so that in the event we go to the store and my kids see a toy or need clothes I am able to afford it. Not daily of course but they have plenty. Money can cause problems with the most wealthy though, look at the actors, singers, lottery winners. Money can't make you happy. Just focus on what you have. So it's a little slow, it will pick up and before you know it, you can get all the things he promised. Before anything make sure you both agree on how to handle your finances and make sure you have your bills paid, child support paid, and the necessities before you go splurge on new clothes or dvds, etc.
2007-03-29 10:10:51 · answer #2 · answered by ~*~frankie~*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him than you will wait for him. What's the rush? Sounds like he is trying to do the right thing. It doesn't seem like a "stand still relationship" since he's saving for your future together. You stay cause you love him and want to be with him.
2007-03-29 10:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by GingerGirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not meant to be criticism, but that seems like an odd question. Sort of like choosing between love or money.
I was in a similar situation with my hubby -- paying child support, we were always tight with money, etc. I just told myself we were never going to get married and that was fine with me. We ultimately did get married but it was YEARS after we started dating. The point is, I love the man. I knew going in that we weren't going to have lots of money and I just let things take their course.
Choose love! :-) Good luck!
2007-03-29 10:05:36 · answer #4 · answered by doggiemom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a shortage of good men out there, so hang on to him if he is one! Money and a slow pace shouldn't matter if you have yourself a man that is worth the effort.
2007-03-29 13:36:47 · answer #5 · answered by lorbell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the relationship centers on money, move on.
If he is a good man that you want to spend your life with, help him out with the child support and accelerate the process.
Two can be one more quickly.
If you don't trust him with your money, don't marry him.
2007-03-29 10:06:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a package deal. If you love him and you know he is a for-sure thing, you will wait.
And btw, he is doing the right thing by supporting his kids. He is their dad, and always will be, even if his wife is no longer his wife. It is a credit to his integrity.
But you also need to do what is ~right~ for you, not just what is right for him. So weigh your priorities, make your decision and then have the courage, commitment and patience to see it through ...
2007-03-29 10:02:29 · answer #7 · answered by americansneedtowakeup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the relationship is not going the way you want/need it to it's not going to work.
What if he didn't pay child support but his salary was not terrific would you still have these questions?
2007-03-29 10:01:57 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's a good man, you stay!!! He should be worth the wait !
If you are seriously considering leaving him for these reasons, you shouldn't marry him now or ever!
2007-03-29 10:01:35 · answer #9 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would stay. you have already stated that you want to grow old with this guy so waiting a few years shouldn't be an issue should it?
2007-03-29 10:01:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You stay IF you love him no matter what the pace or money!
2007-03-29 10:00:43 · answer #11 · answered by angeleyez1956@verizon.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋