Okay, I understand that everyone should have their own say in what they do - but here is the situation. My wife and I struggeled to have children for 14.5 yrs, and we were finally blessed with our son (now 2yr). We're turning 40 this year, and most of the family is older (uncles, grandparents, etc...). Our son doesn't have any siblings (yet - but we're still trying). My family has health problems relating to the heart - therefore I resign to the fact that I will die young... My wife, on the other hand, is healthy - her parents and grandparents live long... Figuring out the odds... (and I know we could die tomorrow from being struck by a car - but thats different)... She put her own life at risk, knowing that our son could grow up never remembering her. Why couldn't she have gone before our son was born, or why can't she wait until he is a little older?
2007-03-29 02:27:21 · 29 answers · asked by T D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am a bit puzzled as to why people think this issue is related to me or my wife... Its about the chance of our son not knowing his own mother because she wanted a two-minute free-falling thrill. And yes, we have spoken about it. I am trying to decide if I should just let her continue.... God for bid anything happen, and my son ask me later in life why I let her do it? Does anyone understand where I am coming from?
2007-03-29 06:52:21 · update #1
Hey hon!
YOU KNOW you would be "pist" if she tried to keep you from doing something that you had "always" wanted to do. So now that you have a son, let him see what a courageous mom he has, and that girls can do anything they set their mind to. I think it's good that he always gets to think that way. As DAD, you may not always agree with Mom's decisions, but son will get to see that you both compromise...She did have to be quite careful for 9 months while pregnant, you know!!
2007-03-29 02:38:33 · answer #1 · answered by juicy13500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can completely understand where you are coming from. I'm a mum of 3 and would never do a skydiving stunt at all. My husband on the other hand most definately would if he had the chance. It scares me as he is the main "bread winner" of the family...if anything should happen..I would hate to think. Still, I would not stop him. If it makes him happy, so be it. To me, I fully believe that "everything happens for a reason" and when your time is up, it's up. As for your wife, things change once you have kids. It may be a way of release for her. In regards to your heart issues, please try not too stress too much, you sound like me, a real worrier. All the best. I hope I've been of some help.
2007-03-29 10:03:21 · answer #2 · answered by MiniMe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip man. Does she stop you doing things? Being struck by a car tomorrow is not different, she would still be dead and your son would still not have a mother. And what difference would it make if she waited. It is the same if you lose your mum at 30 as it is at 3. It still hurts and you never get over it. The odds of dying at skydiving are low. All you risk is her doing things behind your back which you would'nt like.
2007-03-29 09:33:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, dear, you are planning your death way before it happens... the negative thinking isn't going to prolong your life.
i'm sorry if you have heart problems (you didn't mention this specifically, just that your family has a history). I hope you've seen a doctor for tests and treatment.
If have not seen a doctor, but suspect you have problems, cardiologists tend to work miracles these days!
If you are so concerned about your family, you will take care of YOU.
It's great your wife is healthy. I think the risk of her getting hurt in the car on the way to and from sky diving is far greater than the actual sky diving venture.
You seem rather consumed with everyone's mortality. Have you considered talking to a professional about this?
congratulations on the child. i hope you'll have another someday soon.
take care.
2007-03-29 09:39:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should not stop living just because you are fearful of death.
To do so is to live life as a zombie.
It is safer to parachute out of a plane than it is to drive the car to the grocery store. It is not different.
I think your wife is teaching you a valuable lesson.
You are an uptight boring man. Live a little. Parachute with her next time and bring the son along for the ride.
When it is your time to leave the mortal coil, there ain't nothing you can do about it, so live life to its fullest, I say, and raise that son to be a wise risk taker. He will then be the leader of his peers and successful and happy in his adult life.
2007-03-29 09:36:58 · answer #5 · answered by lidera 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has a MUCH great chance of dying going to pick up groceries. Shall you all starve? She has a much greater chance of dying by slipping in the shower. Should she never shower again?
I truly do understand where you are coming from. You feel its an additional risk factor that is frivolous and reckless. You'd prefer her to never put herself at greater risk than is absolutely necessary. What if to her that isn't living her life? That to her simply surviving isn't enough for her to want to survive?
Perhaps there is a reason she is thrill seeking at age 40? I suggest talking to her about it. Tell her why it bothers you and that you're afraid for her safety and the future. Find out what is driving her to do these things now when she had not wanted to do them 10 years ago. You two are going to have to find a middle ground somewhere in this. She isn't going to want to stop and you're not going to want her to go. Common ground is somewhere in between. Maybe get her to go to an indoor free fall simulator instead.
Either way, communicating your feelings to her is the key to resolving the problem
2007-03-29 09:36:45 · answer #6 · answered by b0red2tears 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this is her way of dealing with the fact that you have filled her head with all this crap about dying. Give her space to be who she is, she went all out to try to prove something to you...just because you may die tomorrow doesn't mean you can't LIVE today. Go with her next time, loosen up a little or your son will remember you as a hard *** who never had any fun for fear of dying. Live to the fullest...I bet when the pressure is off and you stop talking about death and diease she will get pregnant faster...you have brain washed her to think your dying, so therefore her body isn't letting her get pregnant...its natures way.
2007-03-29 09:36:32 · answer #7 · answered by willow 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I amend you for loving your wife and for wanting nothing at all to ever happen to her. I think you need to sit down and speak to her and express how much you do love her and also admire her for taking chances on life, not everyone is a free spirited person, but that you are really concern about raising your son alone if anything terrible was to happen to her. I know your son as well as yourself along with your wife will all be fine....
2007-03-29 10:56:29 · answer #8 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your wife has devoted almost her entire life to you and starting a family...if she wants to do something as risky as skydiving, that is her option, you should not object.....besides objecting will make her want it more and feel like you are holding her back from doing something she enjoys. after time it will probably wear off and the need to take such risk will diminish...be thankful for your son and dont worry, people skydive every day...her odds of coming home and taking care of the family are alot better than you think...loosen up on her, or your son may be an only child, not from death of mother, but lack of interest...live one day at a time and stop thinking negative
2007-03-29 09:36:03 · answer #9 · answered by beachnut222000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a little selfish aren't we.
Like you said, either could find there demise at any time so why get upset over this. You made a mountain out of a mole hill and lets hope you start understanding that she can do things with or without your permission so focus on a good life together for however long you two should live. OK.
2007-03-29 09:41:32 · answer #10 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋