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I have a nice life. my fiance is absolutely brilliant in every way, I have a new son whos adorable and healthy, I have no financial worries,I have a nice house, im due to start a new course in I.t which i enjoy. I should be on top of the world. Whats wrong with me - no - im stuck on yahoo answers trying to find an answer!!!

2007-03-29 00:44:48 · 28 answers · asked by Leesa 2 in Social Science Psychology

Spoilt?
Everything i have is my own and I have worked darn hard for. I moved out at 15 and have bought myself up so dont you dare call me spoilt.

2007-03-29 00:49:38 · update #1

28 answers

Hi,

Have these feelings only come about since you gave birth? It could be very likely that you have postnatal depression.

Or have these feeling persisted through your whole life?

Whichever the case, I think you should see your doctor for a chat. He will help you pinpoint how long you've been feeling like this and point you in the direction of help. You deserve to be happy! And don't think you'll be wasting his time - people are actually employed and paid a wage to help others like you who need it! You're doing them a favour by giving them a job to do!

Another thing to consider is this: are you feeling down, or are you just feeling like you're plodding along? You have a lot of great things going on in your life right now - but they are all external things (family, job, house, money). What about things (aside from work and family) that really make you tick? When was the last time you did something you loved, like going to a gig, dancing around the house, taking a long bath, having the place to yourself, painting your toenails, etc?

Also remember that even when everything's great in our lives, we won't always feel on top of the world. Maybe we'll just feel content, and that might appear strange to us in light of all the good things that are happening.

If this is a recent thing, perhaps it is also due to the fact that your son has now been born and that you are settled. You say you have a fiance - when are you planning to get married? Maybe you've been so used to having 'projects' (i.e. getting a good job - you're doing it now; getting a good house; youv'e got it; finding true love - you've found it; having a baby; you've had him) that you don't quite know what to aim for next? A lot of women feel a certain sense of sadness when their child is born, because they've spent (at the very least) the last 9 months of their life planning and preparing for this new arrival - it's sort of like the anticipation of Christmas; but once it arrives and the presents are open, we all sit around and feel a bit jaded once it's over.

I think aside from seeing your doctor for a chat, you should find something that's just for you - that you love. Even if it's minor things like buying yourself a magazine every day, or pampering yourself once a week; even going out to town by yourself or meeting a friend; try to find something that will put that little spring back in your step.

I hope this helps

xx Emmie

I just read your post in reply to that idiot that gave you the middle finger. He does that to everyone, I've seen him on here before. Ignore him - he's got nothing better to do! You say you moved out at 15? I'm a Psychologist and I did wonder whether you had any problems when you were younger that might need dealing with - perhaps you have a void to fill that you don't actually realise is still effecting you? Obviously, you don't have to go into it on here, but it's just a thought xx

2007-03-29 00:57:37 · answer #1 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 1 0

I depends on what you think happiness is. You appreciate what you do have and I see that those are a lot of material things. I also see that your fiance has qualities which you feel are important and that your son also has desirable traits. Would you love them less if they were not so brilliant or if your son was not so adorable or maybe was cranky all the time? You are very lucky that you had the capabilities to work to achieve all of these things such as a nice house and no financial worries, but all of these things are just that, things. It seems like you are missing the spiritual side to your life, not just happiness. Where are the other powerful sides to your nature that you do not mention. You have a nice life?? Where is the passion?? Where is the dancing, great fun loving friends...you forgot to mention those. The wild roller coaster ride, the warm baby powder snuggle with your son, the gut wrenching sadness of loss. Not someone stole my purse, but the super friend who passed away so young and you miss her terribly. This is just a guess but perhaps you worked so hard to get all the material things to make life comfortable maybe you forgot to work on the fun playful things in life. It sure sounds like you could use a romp in the rain without an umbrella. Of course I could be wrong and it might be post partum blues. See your doctor and get a check up. Do that first and if you have no other reason for feeling unhappy then please consider some carefree play time. Run, jump and dance!

2007-03-29 01:17:36 · answer #2 · answered by tuxedocat 2 · 2 0

Maybe with going to school and having a baby, you are just feeling a little overwhelmed. It has nothing to do with the fact that you have nice things. Sometimes, you just need to sit back and take big look at the whole picture, of how your life really is. I see that you are engaged, are you planning on a wedding soon?

This can be over exhilarating, even if you are happy. You have to much going on to even pay much attention to detail and to your self. You just need to sit back and relax and enjoy life. Get out and have some fun, take a candle lit bath, go get your hair and nails done along with a massage. I know the feeling of being out so young. I am a 32 year old mother, of 3 children might I add,divorced after 13 years and I have as well been on my own since I was 16.

It is tough, but maybe you are just depressed and don't know it and don't know why. Go to the Dr's and get help. Some ppl on the other hand have it all and yet, nothing seems to make them happy. But I would bet you just have alot on your plate right now and you need to just have a pick me up, with a day out by yourself along with some anti depressants.

You are taking on alot, going to school taking care of a new baby, getting married and perhaps you work outside the home as well. Don't try to do so much at once, this can bring you down and make u unhappy. Take it from me, been there and done that. Good luck to you, and Hun, if you want to talk to me sometime, email me at cobenour30@yahoo.com. PPl can tell you are just spoiled and make comments on here they know nothing about, but don't let them discourage you, until they have walked in your shoes, they have no clue as to what they are talking about!

2007-03-29 01:01:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Some people are so Rude , No you are no Spoilt you just may be lonely or suffering with depression hun, i know how it can be to feel on top of the world but yet at the same time your in a hole you cant get out of, i had depression , see you doc they understand and will help ,if you feel lonely join a mums group or exersize class make some friends. Take care xx

2007-03-29 00:59:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Sweetheart - it sounds to me like your depressed!
I work as a qualified Psychologist and would like to put this to you (if you don't mind).
The arrival of a new addition to the family (although it is wonderfully exciting in every way) also brings problems.
You now have the additional worry of having someone who depends on your decisions and actions to survive. Although we do the best we can for that person, it is still a heavy cross to bear. The financial costs increase, the worry of their welfare increase and you are no longer living your life just for you. Your whole life changes as you know it and you do it willingly without the knowledge that it is happening.
Do yourself a few personal favours.
1) Do at least one thing purely for yourself each day.
2) Ensure your diet is a healthy one and try to avoid those
high cholesterol foods that believe it-or-not, affect our
behaviour which in turn then affect our thoughts.
3) Try to ensure your sleep/rest periods are at least 6-hrs per
night (hard with a baby - I know).
4) Speak to your local GP and ask him/her for their advice.
5) Remember that stress can lead to bad health so keep all worries to a minimum and nip each one in the bud as it arrises.
6) This probably sounds silly but it can work - When you clean
your teeth in the morning, take a good look in the mirror,
smile and say "Today is gonna be a damn good day".
Trust me, this helps you start your day with a positive
outlook.
Remember that those around you feed off of how you feel, especially children.
Hope this helps! x

2007-03-29 01:21:56 · answer #5 · answered by gabby.ratchet 1 · 1 0

Relax. Take it easy. Instead of finding happiness on the 'outside', happiness is actually created from 'inside'. Take down each and every moment of the day of what makes you smile, what makes you feel happy.

Could it be spending a quiet moment with your sons, your husband, friends, etc. Jot them all down. Find a good place to relax and reflect on the goodness that has been experienced by you.

Next, simply go and get yourself a newspaper, and read about world happenings. You'll be shocked at the amount of bad news you see almost everyday. Now, reflect and compare yourself with 'them'. Feel how fortunate you are compared to most people around you.

If you want, you can try meditation. Experience the joy of being 'oneness' with yourself.

2007-03-29 01:02:51 · answer #6 · answered by SunnyGuy 3 · 0 0

You can!
First you need to concentrate on all the things in life you are greatfull for,take about an hour a day, call it your power hour.
Dont watch too much TV, especially advertisments they are there to try to get you to feel inadequate so you will buy their products,forget materialism-its a con.Inside your head is the seed of anything you want to do, the only person stopping you is you-dont listen to wingers and whiners, dont do it yourself. Make your own mind about things, dont be influenced by prophets of doom, only you know whats right for you.Accept that you have great power-use it wisely and for the benefit of others, you will be rewarded a thousandfold-do not let anyone denounce your power to achieve anything-you can achieve anything if you have the intent,desire and passion to do so.The universe is there to help you, embrace it!
Enjoy your course, I know you will make a success of it and rejoice in the love in your family and home.
Good luck!!

2007-03-29 02:43:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Happiness is just misery temporarily covered up with "things".

You can have all the gold and riches in the world and you may still not be happy.

This is because you are looking for happiness in the wrong place which is so common in this world - You are looking for it outside yourself which is a place where it can never be found.

The outside world is ever changing, impermanent, insecure.

It shifts and if you are attached to it, fear of a negative shift will mean your life will be full of misery even if you have everything.

Once you accept the impermanent nature of the world, and enjoy thngs..........while they last....without attachement or clinging, without deriving your sense of identity from these "things" - you will then find joy which has no opposite.

You will have joy in the only place where it can last which is inside of yourself.

The crazy cosmic dance of the external word will then revolve around you, it may even crumble, but you will have an unending peace and joy inside.

How you can do this - How you can enjoy life without attachement, without clinging - I cannot tell you, this you will have to find out for yourself - but once you do you will be loving life!

2007-03-29 00:56:50 · answer #8 · answered by abluebobcat 4 · 2 0

You have a lot of material belongings. Do you have anything spiritual which can nourish your soul? You sound like these billionaires ( I know you are not exactly that!)who have all things material, and some have worked very hard for it, yet they are still missing the "thing" which will make them happy.
Then there are those (even some billionaires)who do things for others, help children, help financially to find cures, basically they pass along their love of humankind. These people feel happy inside. They have a purpose in life. They feel truly happy when they help someone who needs help. Most believe in God... Try it, you may like it!

2007-03-29 01:16:13 · answer #9 · answered by l E 2 · 0 0

If your new son is very "new" it could be that you are suffering from postpartum depression. This is quite a serious condition but can be relieved. It should not be taken lightly and you should seek help from your GP. If he or she refuses to take it seriously then demand a second opinion and take your husband with you for support. You need all the support you can get right now.

2007-03-29 00:58:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

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