I sometimes clamp up and find it hard to speak to people i dont know properly,especially new people .I get really anxious, sweating when I feel uncomfortable in a situation I just want to get out of it. How can I put a stop to all this. I feel stupid when I meet most people and uncomfortable like they're judging me. I cant live my life like this.
2007-03-29 00:19:12 · 12 answers · asked by Leesa 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
The key is to not be concerned what others may think of you..Being your true self may be hard at first but once you relax around others they will feel that "vibe" & be attracted to you for conversation etc...Think of new situations as adventures in people exploring...Often a simple "hello" will open a door to a conversation with someone new, if not you move onto the next person & try again..Even telling a stranger your uncomfortable in the situation your both in can make a person talk comfortably with you...good luck!
2007-03-29 00:43:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its called 'social anxiety' and the reason theres a name for it is because its really common! See if there are assertiveness training classes near you and go to those. The first thing you'll notice is that some people there are even more nervous than you are, and that boosts your confidence to start with.
You need to boost your self esteem and confidence, thats why you worry about other people judging you. Evening classes are a great way to do it, find something you want to learn and go. You'll meet other people and have something in common to talk about - the class, the subject, and that will help a lot.
Also, you can see your gp and ask for a referral to cognitive behaviour therapy. The more you do to help yourself, the better you will feel. It takes time, so go easy on yourself.
In the meantime, try to watch the news items, for example on the Yahoo main page, so you can think of something to talk about and join in if anyone else is talking about it.
Take it easy, you're not alone!
2007-03-29 07:31:21 · answer #2 · answered by sarah c 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When I'm in that kind of situation I try and wait until I hear something that I know something about, when you're talking about something you know you will never be anxious..
Another option would be to bring up something on T.V you recently saw your options would be the news or football. I'd stick with the first option (although it is a bit of a gamble waiting for your moment)
I also don't think there is a miracle trick for this one though, one day you'll just mature and realise that it isn't that hard to do, it happens to a lot of people and they just think to hell with it in the end.
2007-03-29 07:36:44 · answer #3 · answered by Jason 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are thinking too much about yourself. It is more common than you realize. Start thinking that perhaps the other person is uncomfortable, wondering if they are coming across as dim and you are judging them.....and try and put them at their ease. Many people have learned to hide their true feelings.
Another trick I used is to picture them on the Loo and there is nothing like that mental picture to block out your own insecurities and make you smile.
2007-03-29 08:07:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's familiar for me... I often felt the same way until I got a job at a global financial company. I can't specify the reason why my self confidence improved because of this, but it truly did. Maybe because now I feel I achieved something that can be respected, you know. Hope this helps.
2007-03-29 07:28:50 · answer #5 · answered by csapdani 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I am on my own in a group of people where I dont know anyone, I imagine I am in a happy place and the people around me are wearing polka dot bikinis, always make me smile. Smile and the others will come to you.
2007-03-29 07:24:55 · answer #6 · answered by sexy-star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a simple exercise, wake up in the morning, look into your eyes in the mirror and say, out loud "I am the B*llocks." You won't believe how helpful silly little things like that can be.
That said you should also always just be yourself! You will be accepted for who you are if you're always true to yourself.
2007-03-29 07:27:14 · answer #7 · answered by Tom Q 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next time your talking to someone play with a paper-clip in your hand, imagine that all your fears and nerves are going into the paper clip. Imagine that only confidence can enter your body. :)
2007-03-29 07:22:53 · answer #8 · answered by Alex B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think surrounding yourself with confident people necessarily makes you more confident. Although you say you can't live your life like this, you are judging yourself on how you think everyone acts. No, think for yourself.
2007-03-29 07:31:42 · answer #9 · answered by plwimsett 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a very easy thing to deal with. it would be better if we had a one to one as i can't tell you over the net, i would need to ask personel questions, and that is not for other people. p.p.t@hotmail.com.
Danny
2007-03-29 10:38:35 · answer #10 · answered by danny w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋