Am i Normal?

Question

Ok so i have a pretty good life, its not perfect but whose is? For the past few years (im about to graduate from high school) ive been thinking about what to do with my life. I always thought i wanted a wife and kids but now im having second thoughts. Staying single is starting to sound really good to me. Im not into partying or anything but living alone sounds appealing. Is that normal or is something wrong with me

Answer 1

I know a lot of 40 year old guys just like you.

Answer 2

It's a really good idea to live alone for a while and be independent. You'll learn a lot of valuable life skills, and you'll also get a taste of what real freedom is like.
It's perfectly normal to want to live on your own for a while - most people your age and older want to at some point, and rightly you should.
There is also no need to rush into a relationship if you are comfortable with being single. Honestly, not having a significant other, although lonely at times, can be rather refreshing and liberating.
Most importantly, you're still young, so make decisions and don't be afraid to experiment and, possibly, make mistakes.
Go for it! Enjoy some independence. You're perfectly normal.

Answer 3

Hi James

I'm not going to judge what is or isn't normal.
What I would say is that you need to look at your reasons for choosing one option or another - in everything you do.

Sometimes we choose one option over another because we think that will lead us to what we want. That doesn't a guarantee that we will get what we want. And sometimes when you get what you thought you wanted it turns out you don't want it after all.
But going for what you want is, generally speaking, a good idea.

Making decisions on the basis of what you DON'T want, on the other hand, is usually not too good. Not least because knowing what you don't want doesn't tell you much, if anything, about what you do want. so instead of heading towards a positive goal you end up running round like a headless chicken not knowing where you're going or why.

In the specific context you mention, the question for you to answer is "Does staying single sound really good because that will get me what I want, or because that will allow me to avoid some thing(s) I don't want?"

For example, a recent survey showed that a growing number of young people in the developed countries spend large amounts of time NOT dealing with other people face-to-face. They communicate with the rest of the world, as far as they can through e-mails, online discussion groups, text messaging and phone calls (though of course they still go to classes at school/college, or to their job and so on).

The reason for this SEEMS to be that they find it a lot less stressful than going out and meeting people. So their choices are dictated by what they don't want (feeling stressed) instead of what they do want (which they may not be too clear about anyway).

On top of any other considerations, you are going through a time of terrific changes. Your brain is still developing; some of your biological cycles are completely out of sync with people under the age of 10 and over the age of 25 (these figures are approximate), which can make you feel like other people don't understand you, and you aren't too sure about yourself.

BUT THERE'S GOOD NEWS!

You have reached, or are about to reach, the turning point when things start to come together for you. The process will take a few years to complete, but by and large things will get progressively better.

On that basis I'd agree with the person who suggested you might want to keep your options open.
Being alone may sound good now, and MAYBE it will still sound good later. And on the other hand, maybe it won't.
And how interesting it will be as you find out for yourself. Won't it?

Answer 4

I think that is absolutely normal. When you get out of high school, one of the first steps into becoming an adult is moving out on your own. Living alone and being single is a great idea and goal for you for now anyway. You may change your mind down the road when you are a bit older and still want a wife and children. For now, enjoy being single, on your own and finding your own way in life. Get to know yourself and follow your own dreams before involving anyone else. Good luck and enjoy!

Answer 5

No, you're weird. I know this because you think like I do, and I'm weird. I also used to think I wanted to be single and live independently and just focus on my career. I still think it sounds great, it's just not an option for me anymore. But I truly believe that living independently is an excellent way to excel in life, if you don't mind being single. It just seems like a very attractive lifestyle. So, once again, you are not "normal," but normal is the most boring thing in the world. Be different.

Hopefully that answers your question (and hopefully you weren't too offended by the first sentence),

D.M.

Answer 6

You sound more than normal. You sound unusually mature and integrated for your age. Love happens serendipitously, and when you least expect it. Follow your heart ALWAYS when love enters your spirit. But, for now, set goals for yourself that are for YOU alone until you perhaps come to share your life with someone. Being integrated enough to be content alone is a very healthy state of being, sir. Enjoy your solitude. And, if your solitude becomes crowded someday, be sure that you really want that and not just follow the expectations of others. Life is too short to live it based on the abstractions and expectations of other people. Someone as emotionally mature as you would be a very good mate and father someday, if that day ever comes. Just because people enjoy their solitude does not mean they would not be good partners and parents if they wanted to be.

Answer 7

When I was about your age, about to graduate from high school, I thought I would like to remain single for the rest of my life and being single without a whole horde of crying babies or to care about putting food on the table not just for me but for my family did not appeal to me. 7-8 years down the road, I met someone and we both fell in love. I've gone through that stage in life about being single and now, all I want to do is settle down with that someone I love and face life's adventures with my partner. It is a phase I think most of us would go through. Perhaps, a few years down the road, you would have a change of heart and mind.

Answer 8

Wow...this question doesn't really need a long, drawn-out answer. It's simple

Normal is what you make it. Your life is yours to live, and if you want to stay single or get married, either choice is yours to make.

The best thing I think for you to do right now is focus on the tangible goals you have set forth for yourself already. Do you want to go to college? Do you want a career? Aim for things that you see in your immediate future.

In the case that someday you DO want to get married, it won't be for many many years: it takes time to see if love will work.

Don't decide your future life right now. Live what you've got. If you're still in high school, you're like me. "Seize the day", honey! Just live what you've got: stop worrying about five or ten years from now and just live!!!

Answer 9

Yeah dud you really have some problem cause having second thought's about marrying does'nt matter but living "alone" is,you would some day regret that you do'nt have friends to share something's in life.Try to see the good side of life and you would hate to be alone.

Answer 10

Nothing wrong with being single or living alone. Partying gets boring after awhile. You sound very normal.

Answer 11

you are still young
heck im still young being only 21

i kno exactly wht ur thinking
go to college and get an education
that will help u in life more than nething

u will nevr know the people u meet and how things progress
your outlook about life will change as time goes by