When your kids grow up do you ever feel as close to them as you did when they were young?

Question

Just wondering

Answer 1

I hope I will be. My Mom and I are closer now that we dont live together. I talk to her everyday for at least an hour on the phone.

Answer 2

Is this a loaded question...loaded with humour, I mean...???

Some kids NEVER grow up and some never leave home either. When they do, some parents fear they may return...!

That seems to be the trend of the last decade or so. It might be best to ask if parents can escape their children when and if they ever grow up...!

So much for the humourous side of raising children...

From experience of the many parents whom speak out and of boob tube reality shows as well as media hype it has been found that parental love, caring and concern actually increases when their children grow up and even moreso when they leave home to lead lives of their own. Then, of course, adding grandchildren does also add more love and concern.

However, the feeling of closeness most always converts to lonliness as their offspring become working families and do not live next door. Parents then feel cutoff and out of contact with full understanding of the reasons why.

The way children respond to their parental family relates to the way they were raised. If parents always emphasized family values in as much that a family is incomplete without communications and participating in family functions then certainly will the children themselves continue on with the same tradition.

Parents are more apt to love their children equally even if knowing one may be the proverbial "blacksheep" while siblings amongst themselves may not ---> if family values are not instilled within the children during their growing years.

A closeness rooted family of siblings rarely would condemn the blacksheep of the family and would just turn aside the factors of disapproval while wanting to hold family together for visits and functions.

Yes then, feelings of losing the closeness once shared is an expectation to anticipate and communications between visits is the best medecine to cure the lonliness of parents whose children have grown and left home to build their own lives.

Answer 3

My oldest son was an only child for 6 years. He & I were always so close. He was like the other parent when the other two kids were born. When he hit the teen years he really changed. Didn't talk as much. He was spreading his own wings. It was the natural flow of a kid growing up. He is now married & very independent. He could probably go months without talking to me or anyone for the matter. He is very cerebral aka smart. I accept his personality.

My daughter hated me when she went through the teen years.. As a young adult she is now my best friend. I can't imagine life without her.

My youngest was somewhere btweeen the other two kids.

Life is a process. Things change.

If your kids are growing up learn to accept the adults they are. And if they don't keep in touch with you, you keep in touch with them. Just don't bug them.

Answer 4

My son is now 24 and moved out about 15 months ago. The only time I hear from him anymore is when I pick up the phone and call him. No, I don't feel as close to him as we were when he was younger, but I do understand he works long hard hours in order to be responsible for his own bills instead of having to call me all the time for help. Now I know what my mom must have felt when my sister and I were both finally out of the house.

Answer 5

No. Simply put, as people age, relationships change. I was very close to my son at his age 5, but now at his age 32, he is his own separate being, and we are not as close as we were, though still close so to speak. No matter what, we will be close as he is of my blood, but not so close as we were when he was a child. It matters not how old he is, by the way, he will always be my son, and therefore, close to me. Blood is thicker than water. Family first. And all that. I can not visualize a situation in which I would disconnect from my son, my blood, my family.

Answer 6

I have 2 grown daughters and 2 kids still at home. The "closeness" is different, but maybe even better because we can do things as equals now. They have kids and we talk about parenting, discipline, recipes, etc. They "hang" with me because they want to and we really have great phone conversations, sometimes for hours. (Unlike their teenage years when talking to mom was lame!) Anyway, it's pretty cool.

Answer 7

It depends on whether your attitude towards them changed when they were growing. Were you strict on them. Did you make them feel that you are not giving them your heart and trying to be choosy when to adore them and when to smack them. Remember the child when growing keeps the mental record of every thing may be unknowingly and when he become financially independent he remembers how you behaved/treated with them and they just reciprocate. There is another aspect to this when there comes in his life his/her life partner then the division of love takes place. Comparably the daughters are more attached to the parents than the sons.

Answer 8

From the childs persepective-It is a different kind of close. I think it is hard to go back to that time when a parent was your everything. As an adult, I have a very close relationship with my parents, especially my mother. But I see her as an adult now. She is not infallible, which makes her more human to me. I respect her more.
Each day is a gift, enjoy it!!

Answer 9

Well I dont have kids, But when I was small I was mad at my parents because I couldnt do what I wanted.. I am 25 now and my mom is my best friend.. I only wish we had this kind of relationship when I was small.. Shes my hero

Answer 10

I would say yes. I have always been close to my mom and out of seven kids we are the closest.