I just broke up with someone that I went out with for a few years a couple of weeks ago. I miss him a great deal. Still rather "broken" feeling about it. As luck would have it - a fellow I find attractive and half-way charming has been flirting with me. Here's the rub - I have been asked out like 5 times in the last 20 years. I cant seem to decide if this new fellow asks me out, if I should say yes, or if I should get over the last one before preceeding in a new direction. The fact of the matter is that I want to deal with some issues that were problems in the last relationship (as in, with a therapist) so that I dont make the same mistakes. However, on the other hand, I dont want to let a rare opprotunity slip by....
Any advice?
2007-03-28 18:26:04 · 9 answers · asked by freshbliss 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
That's a rough one. You don't want to jump into another relationship on the rebound. Do you think if you explained it to him he could wait for a while before you got together?
2007-03-28 18:30:14 · answer #1 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a great idea for you to take some time to work on yourself , your feelings and some issues from your past relationship before getting involved with someone else. Otherwise, you may end up in the same boat again in a year or so. You can always go out with this guy as a friend. Don't let yourself jump into to anything too soon. Taking time for yourself and working on yourself is always time well spent and you will be glad you did it. The more you understand yourself and the situations you've been through, the healthier you will be and so will your relationships.
2007-03-28 23:41:45 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he asks you to go and have a some fun go. That doesn't mean that you have to be in a relationship with this guy the next day. It may also be a good opprotunity to hash out your problems with the last relationship. Sometimes bringing in the new will help with dealing with the old. Good luck.
2007-03-28 18:35:40 · answer #3 · answered by Squeakers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go out with the guy if he asks. First going on a date is not the same as "doing the horizontal bop". I was happily married to a woman for 20 years until she died of cancer complications. I met a woman that I like very much and I think that she is a very nice lady. We have a wonderful time together, but I'm not in love with her (yet).
I guess my point is that it is a date/companionship. You don't have to get married just because he asks you out to dinner, nor do you have to jump in the rack just because he asks you out to dinner. Go out, have a good time, then decide.
As the old posters from the 60's proclaimed....Behold The Turtle, For He Only Makes Progress When He Sticks His Neck Out.
2007-03-28 18:38:48 · answer #4 · answered by Randy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not a genius, and im still a child, but this opportunity wont slip as long as this new fellow is reliable to be where you see him everytime whenever you see him. but if theres still a chance and if you want to get back with your old boyfriend, then wait to collect you feelings first, but if there could be regrets and something about him is not worth waiting for then forget him.
by the way opportunities do slip, and if this new guy really does like you, when someone makes the first move, tell him that you might still need to work out some problems first- its the old mind game girls play on guys, but its effective
2007-03-28 18:34:28 · answer #5 · answered by ceesteris 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
foresight and planning are very good, but don't worry too much. for the most part you should just focus on letting things be what they are and allow them to become what they will. plant your seeds carefully in good soil, water them, give the plenty of sunlight, and in due time they will sprout and grow and then you will really see what kind of a plant it is that you have here. if this guy is interested in you then he will listen if you share your feelings with him. maybe he will learn to understand yu and what your needs are. you don't need to think of it as running off in some new direction; just keep going in the same direction you've always been going in and everything will be fine.
2007-03-28 19:46:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If asking out = marriage, then run, run away.
If it is anything but that... go out with him. And hook up with a good therapist as well. Decide the seriousness of things after you've given him a couple of dates. YOU get to decide what you are ready for, and the only way to decide that is to actually allow yourself to take some chances... well thought out reasonable as slow as you need to go chances.... but chances nevertheless. Have fun. :)
2007-03-28 19:25:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mikisew 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Bliss.... Don't worry. Go out with this fella. Have a good day out, dinner date, movie or just a lazy sunday brunch - anything you like.
Don't let past haunt you. Keep your heart open for love, laugh, friendship and all the human experience... God bless!
2007-03-28 18:42:00 · answer #8 · answered by planetebiz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no continue your pitty party,by then you will be too old to want to go with anyone.
2007-03-28 18:33:50 · answer #9 · answered by sugartopone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋