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My wife is had depression before marriage and i came to know she had serious depression. She very sensitive my life has become miserable worest part is she is very cunning and keeps creating situation. I been controling my temper and now it looks like i my self geting into depression. She is not working and dependent on me. we have once kid. what should i do to come out of this miserable life

2007-03-28 18:22:21 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

Thanks for answears. Yes she is under medication even before marriage. It is more than 7 years on medication zoloft.
I can not talk to her and tell she doing wrong. she some how never understand. I have tried to convience her. The best thing is not to talk to her yet all.I have no other solutions

2007-03-28 18:47:37 · update #1

I think some of you are mistaken. I am trying leave. That is not option. The reason is my child. If I leave than child will have to be forced to leave with mother at young age. I kid suffer more. Bottom life , my life is spoilt . But I don't my wife depression effect my child. What I am asking is how cope such bitchy attitude ?

2007-03-28 19:17:38 · update #2

11 answers

I agree with many of the answers above but would like to add that you appear to be talking about a couple of problems not just depression. Depressed people aren't necessariliy cunning. It is not a common word associated with depression. Perhaps you are just angry with her behavior. Either way, the medication she is on (even for 7 years) is obviously not effective in fixing her problem. It is time to tell her that she needs help and that you support her seeking it.

Sometimes people that are seriously depressed are unable to see that they are miserable and not handling life effectively. Seek therapy for the two of you, take her to the doctor and speak with the doctor directly about the situation. Whether she needs therapy or changes in medication is up to the doctor but at least give it a chance.

You must have cared for her once. Walking out is not necessarily going to make it better. Seek to help her. Your child is being affected by her illness too. Think family first and then recognize that sometimes making a demand that she gets help is the best decision.

I am not saying that you need to stay if she won't do anything about her illness...but she may not be able to really see how difficult she is to be with.

Try all options. What else can you do? Her not working and just being miserable is ruining her life, your life and your kid's life. Decide tonite to change everything...one step at a time.

2007-03-28 18:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0 1

Take yourselves to a life success seminar like PSI or Lifespring. Best gift to anyone going through crisis like this. Look up Sterling too. DO NOT DO THEIR 90 DAY PROGRAMS! But go to the 3-5 day weekend/night things. I've done a few and seen wonderful things happen. You might be able to keep the relationship alive/rekindled. And possibly find the happiness you had when you married each other. Find a way to stay together. If not for your own happiness, then for the kids.

2007-03-28 18:39:00 · answer #2 · answered by jennilaine777 4 · 0 0

It isn't your accountability to stick through a girl who isn't inclined to get support and work with you on this marriage. I do think marriage vows should be permanent; nonetheless, each parties ought to live up to their end of the deal, and it feels like she's no longer. Also, she must have been open and honest with you before getting into into a wedding, as mental sickness this serious is not some thing to be taken calmly. Long story quick: you are not able to aid her anymore. You also need to take care of your self, and with the aid of divorcing her, you might be doing two things: a) caring about your self, and b) making her take responsibility for herself and her possess health. You will have to not be her crutch or punching bag; for this reason, her threats of suicide aren't your fault. If she threatens when you convey up divorce once more, inform her you could possibly be blissful to call her family and let them recognize of her challenge in order that they can stay together with her. Tell her you can be pleased to call a health care professional, too. Nevertheless, be certain you tell her additionally that you are going to now not be forced into an highly sad marriage along with her considering that she's threatening suicide. Stay firm, and that i wager she'll get the message eventually and discontinue threatening. Once threats not work, humans transfer on. Excellent luck with the whole thing.

2016-08-10 22:19:57 · answer #3 · answered by kindle 4 · 0 0

Depression is very serious and should not be treated lightly. You are in a marriage, a partnership and inorder to get through this (and you will) you need to decide how committed you are to helping her through......you can't complain about this situation and do nothing about it. Get counselling together, take her to the doctors and get a medical diagnosis for her and treatments available. Getting treatment for this problem will help ease the tension in the house and hopefully get the two of you on track together. Remember you took vows for sickness and in health....she needs your help now. Support her in her recovery and then when she is managing and in a better mind frame, then decide on an action plan. Its not her at the moment, its the depression.

2007-03-28 18:31:51 · answer #4 · answered by kelstar 5 · 2 0

well alot of people are leading for medication. Honestly if the problem cannot be fixed with quality time spent with each other and out and about and talking with each other, may be a therapist would help. If she is suffering from a past experiance, like a malestation she needs counciling. If that dont help, then the medication should be the last resort.. Remember every drug has a side effect..

2007-03-28 18:44:30 · answer #5 · answered by billiejule1981 1 · 0 1

You you sound as if you are expecting her to somehow control her depression. You need to do more research since you are calling it her 'attitude,' yet you already know it is depression - not her. Don't split up your family because your wife is ill. You knew she was ill before you married her and had a child with her. Find better doctors, and support groups or something.

2007-03-29 08:28:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

You need to tell her. Tell her the symptoms you notice, give her examples of how you think it is getting worse, and tell her what it is doing to you and to your marriage. Give her a choice of getting help or talking about separation. You could go with her to counceling, but take it to terms where change will be made whether for the better or not. You can't let her sink both of your ships, and she probably doesn't realize she is doing it. If you love each other, you will be able to help each other make your lives better together. It isn't easy. She won't like hearing it. But if you remain strong you will get through it.

2007-03-28 18:31:11 · answer #7 · answered by Irish 3 · 0 1

Is she on medication for depression? Did it just start to get really bad? Perhaps she is bi polar.

I would get her on the right medication.

And for you, since it sounds more like a misery in your life and not a chemical in balance, try taking St John Warts pills and lots of Vitamin B. Their natural vitamins for depression.

If she doesnt have the right medication, she will continue to be this way, so if she refused to take it, you need to sit down with her and tell her shes going to destroy your relationship

2007-03-28 18:29:15 · answer #8 · answered by Zenthae 4 · 0 1

You both need to seek counseling and if your wife suffers from chronic depression she should get on some type of anti depressant.

2007-03-28 18:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by chunkysmom3502 3 · 0 0

Women need a man love her and take care of her. Try to comfort her whenever she need you. Good luck.

2007-03-28 19:20:50 · answer #10 · answered by kkvv 1 · 0 0

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