Why do men feel they dont have to help out around the house?

Question

doing the dishes once a year doesnt count.
Marriage is a partnership Why dont men feel they are a partner?

Answer 1

men can be such pigs, i think all women should get together and plan the perfect plot to get all the men back for acting like pigs and thinking women are servants. so if you dont mind i would like to type a message to most men who are pigs.

dear pigs,

PICK IT UP YOURSELF, WASH YOUR OWN DISHES, HELL NO IM NOT RUBBING YOUR NASTY FEET, AND IF YOUR HUNGRY GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND GET IT YOURSELF AND WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED, AND JUST FOR THE RECORD, YOUR MARRIAGE l LICENSE IS NOT A CONTRACT ON THINGS GETTING DONE HOW YOU SAY IT OR WANT IT, AND YOU ARE REPLACEABLE. AND MY PLACE ISNT IN THE KITCHEN BAREFOOT PREGNANT, ITS MY PLACE TO SHUT YOU UP AND MAKE YOU DO IT YOURSELF, HAVE FUN ITS GONNA TAKE YOU A WHILE TO CLEAN THEM DISHES

Answer 2

You're going to here a lot of excuses; she doesn't work, I work harder, blah, blah, blah. There are still a lot of women who won't teach their little boy's to do "women's work". Most of those who refuse to do it simply don't know how and hide behind the it's women's work BS. Sometimes the guy just doesn't care. Have you ever been to a bachelor's apt. They can be slobs and just don't care so they think you should take care of it since you care. Stop doing his laundry, his dishes and whatever else he needs done. If you can't take care of yourself you shouldn't get married. When he doesn't have any clean clothes he'll get off his *** or he'll bring it home to mom.
** My husband and I divorced. He never learned to do anything and no matter how many times I asked he wouldn't do anything b/c he said it was my job. Marriage counseling didn't help. We work the same job, commute the same loong distance but apparently he wanted to have fun when he got home and I should do all the housework. You should have seen what a mess that house was through our 9 month divorce. Guess who gets the blame? Even other women said it was my fault the house was a mess!!

Answer 3

This is such a HUGE question. Maybe the problem is that there are too many women who put up with it. EXAMPLE: If the guy wants you to do something nasty and sick, but on your very own street there are 100 sleazbag girls who would be glad to do it - then that makes 'you' the problem. Women who rock the boat get dumped and are called nags. A big problem is that there are women sleazy enough, stupid enough, energetic enough, defeated enough to do it and smile! Look at what IZETRIYE wrote about her sons not getting home cooked meals. Can you beleive it? Some 'mothers' are the problem. If that is a woman speaking I'll scream !!! I just checked and it 'is' a mother !!!

Is this wrong that we are in this situation? You are darned right it is - but I don't know what else to say. I've lived it and failed - I tried absolutely everything. People are not as loyal and fair as we would like them to be. They will take advantage of their position of power.

Answer 4

I think some guys just grow up in families when the man of the house just sat around while the mother did everything. I do believe it is the responsibility of the woman of the house to mention that the husband can help out more. I think it is just some woman just do it rather then asking the husband.

I'm one to help if my wife is working and I'm off for the day I will tidy up the home front make dinner gourmet chef in the house. Then if she wants a nice shoulder massage just to relax her and pour her a nice glass of wine.

WOMAN TELL YOUR HUSBANDS TO START HELPING OUT AROUND THE HOUSE OR THE SEX GETS TURNED OFF. REALLY IF THE MEN ARE READING THIS ITS 2007
NOT BACK IN THE DAY OF YOUR MOM AND DAD THIS DAY AND AGE THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED EQUALITY. SO IF YOU GOT A DAY OFF AND THE WIFE IS WORKING OR YOU BOTH WORK FULL-TIME IT IS TIME TO GET YOUR BUTT OFF THE COUCH AND HELP BEFORE THE ONLY THING YOU WILL BE LIFTING UP IS AN ENVELOPE FULL OF DIVORCE PAPERS.

Answer 5

What happened in my relationship.

Is that when we first moved in together, we would do everything 50/50. Who ever cooked didnt do the dishes, who ever was out of laundry first washed everyones. And then once a week we would clean the place together.

However, we had a baby. I stayed home, we went to work. And he works 60 hours a week, and he used to come home and clean, and I would tell him no. He worked all day, and to relax. And well after about 9 months of that, I would like him to help out more around the house, but I got myself into the crapper by being nice and now hes used to not cleaning :P

And to be honest, men usually dont do things without being asked. I am sorry, but its our instinct to jump up as soon as the baby cries, men just wait. If I say can you take care of the baby he will do it, if i ask him to do the dishes he will do them. But its just not his instinct to do these things.

Answer 6

My guess is that since men (most of the time) are the bread-winners of the house, they feel that bringing home the money and being able to put food on the table (not by cooking, obviously, but being able to fund it) is enough work for them. Or they're misogynistic, chauvinistic pigs who think women are no better than slaves for housewives. But I kid.

Anyways, if you're in a marriage like this and you honestly feel your husband doesn't help out around the house enough, confront him about it. It's the easiest way. If he doesn't change after you talk to him about it, stop doing some of the things around the house he normally takes for granted: stop doing his laundry, stop cooking, stop giving him sex -- whatever it takes to get the point across to him that you're serious about it.

Answer 7

most couples divide the chores, he does the outside jobs, she does the inside. i have no problems doing the dishes, laundry, or house cleaning. and i scrub the tub, and wash the windows, too. it's all about communication, no one is a mind reader. this is something that we worked out in the very beginning of our relationship. we both came into it with our own perceptions of what couples did, we talked it out and worked out the differences, and reached what works for us. it might not be what other couples do, but we can live with it, that's the important thing. if you have kids, there is a lot more work involved, and it is even more important to divide the responsibilities. if you can't work it out, get counseling or a maid, you're not his mommy, or his slave. good luck.

Answer 8

Being a bachelor who's lived with a woman or two, I know for a fact that men who don't think they have household obligations are living in a dream world. If a guy talks equality, he'd better keep up his end of the bargain. Otherwise, he's a hypocrite, and should go take up residence on Capitol Hill.

Answer 9

I think that a lot of people are the same - males or females. If somebody else is going to eventually do the job for you, then you sit back and let them. All men should know how to look after themselves and to look after their wives too. Wives do get sick (and tired) at times, and somebody has to pick up the slack. It is just laziness and selfishness on the part of men I guess.

Answer 10

To me i think its nature and someones upbringing. In most cases men grow up kowing most of the work is done by the woman and him being the bread winner but really gone are those says.
If you realy love someone share everything secrets,chores at home, love,have time for one another. Some men tend to be busy when it comes to work.Try to bring him into the system little by little, when preparing a meal ask him to chop tomatoes as you prepare the onions,prepare the bed as he sorts dirty linen etc love is fun two of you are one.