i've lived with my boyfriend for 5 years and i've put on 50Ibs. Honestly, i feel for the guy. I know i need to do something about it. i guess i want to know how other guys would feel so that i can know what's going on in his mind about me now. i get secretly jealous when he looks at other girls on the net or walking by. Can love look past my weight or will this genuinely effect our relationship? Looking for brutal honesty here from you guys.. not brutal jokes. Thanks in advance.
2007-03-28 18:01:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Heavy question. (No pun intended)
First, understand he can love you unconditionally while still being influenced by your weight gain.
He can love you by letting it not bother him or he can love you more by wanting what's best for you.
Don't be offended by it if he asks you to lose some weight. If he really loves you he will sacrifice present peace in his relationship with you for a longer healthier future with you later.
Then again, you could take it upon yourself and make it a none issue by losing weight without him saying anything. This way, his kindness thus far will be rewarded, possible future conflict is cancelled, and your appreciation and love for him is reinforced.
Win win situation. That is if you take it upon yourself to do it. Just by posing the question, if you are honest with yourself, you know the answer. You will be much happier if you look the way you want to instead of the way you are.
You sound like a sweetheart, just ask him to give you encouragement and to lovingly hold you to some goals that you both can set. Infact working out together can be really fun as well as being really rewarding in the long run.
Your weight is already an issue in your relationship or you wouldn't bring it up.
Be strong and best of luck.
2007-03-28 18:24:25 · answer #1 · answered by scotthomas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy, but if he loves you it shouldn't bother him. He would worry more about your health, and want you to be healthy and happy.
By the way, don't get too worked up if he happens to look at other girls sometimes. I think almost all men do it at some point, even if their girlfriend is super attractive anyways, They can't help themselves.
You and him should maybe go for walks together or do something physical.
Have lots of sex. That will take off some weight!
2007-03-29 01:11:06 · answer #2 · answered by a person 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me first ask whether you have a medical condition such as diabetes/thyroid. if so if he loves you enough he will look beyond your weight. If it is a psychological issue he might not be able to cope quite so well. Also put yourself in his place. How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot? I mean it's not like he started dating you with this poundage - that would have meant he liked Reubenesque women. So in a way you are "cheating" him.
Are you seeking medical attention or dragging your feet? To me that would be the deal killer. Or maybe you just don't like to exercise? In any event you MUST learn to eat better. More veggies and fruits, more protein, less carbs (during the diet). Eat a lot of celery at night - it takes calories to digest it (negative caloric value). You can work on this.
2007-03-29 01:12:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend needs to accept you for who you are. Not how you look or what appearance you may project. Love comes from the inside, and that is who a person really is.
My wife gave birth to two beautiful children, and yes she might not have her same figure when she was 21. But, So What? i love her just as much as i did the day i met her and she's still the most beautiful women I've ever seen. And nothing will ever change that.
2007-03-29 01:17:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My first hubby freaked out when I gained 60 pounds, (he did too) and threatened me with divorce. I about killed myself dieting and got down to 118 pounds over a horrible year of starvation and brutal exercise. I then found out he had been "boinking" at least 3 other BIG gals in his company. I left his butt in a heartbeat. Now I'm happily married (20 years) to a guy that loves me no matter what my weight.
2007-03-29 01:11:19 · answer #5 · answered by b_friskey 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the guy, some dudes like chunky women.
With some guys, it can be an issue. They still will love their woman, but just don't physically desire her anymore. And that can lead to problems.
Talk it out with your b/f if you're worried about it, and try to get on an exercise plan -- maybe together. You'll feel better, your relationship may be stronger for it.
2007-03-29 02:34:20 · answer #6 · answered by joe b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife has put on some weight since we married. I would NEVER say anything that would hurt her feelings. She'd like to loose weight and that's fine with me but that's her deal not mine. In her defense, I had more hair when we married. Shes' still the same girl and I wouldn't trade her for the world.
PS, She'll never see this so it's not *** kissing!
2007-03-29 01:08:07 · answer #7 · answered by Clueless 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Freaked out. 50 pounds is a lot, and is in no way healthy. I wouldn't leave any girl because of this, put I would definitely get on her to try and exercise and diet some more, for her sake!
2007-03-29 01:06:13 · answer #8 · answered by Jeremy A 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He probably tolerates it because he loves you but he
does not really like it, is not proud of you any more and
wishes you would lose it...
2007-03-29 01:46:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
on behalf of my boyfriend, he will not be attracted anymore. Will look for another girlfriend.
2007-03-29 01:09:17 · answer #10 · answered by lilcutie98 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋