How many women feel you may be the cause of some of your own problems?

Question

So I know this question will probably piss off a few of you women, but considering the number one reason relationships fail is over lack of communication, how many or you women are willing to admit that you are causing your own problems? Here is why.

Women are excellent communicators, when it involves your female friends. Your communication with your partners however are far from adequate and here is why.

Women feel that we men should just be able to know when you have a problem, or know what you are thinking. I hate to break it to you, but none of us can read minds. For example.... when your partner does something that gets on your nerves, you throw hints about it, but you never outright come out and say anything... you just flat out dont communicate openly with your partner. Sure.... you have absolutely no problems going and bitching to your girlfriends about it, but the only person that matters, and the one who can actually do anything about it is completely left out..

The problem with that is that most of the time you dont talk with your partner about it until it actually becomes a huge problem, and then by that time its too late... Just like when you tell your partner that you dont want anything for your birthday, and know full well that you really do... and you simply expect us to know that you want something... Why is that? Why do you just assume that we should know what you are thinking? Dont you think your lack of communication could very well be one of the BIGGEST reasons so many relationships fail?

The sad thing is you dont even realize it, and when it does fail... we're still blamed for it... as if you couldn't believe that we arent able to read your mind and just know what you need or dont need?

So women are never the problem? I love it how every single woman who has posted about this topic doesnt have the problem... its everyone else... Not me, I have perfect communication LOL... So its the non existant women out there who do this then... not the real ones.. never. Why is it women are NEVER wrong? You know... in ANY relationship, 50% of the problem lies with each half of the partnership... very rarely does the blame lay solely on one partner or the other... and even if you look at a situation where one spouce cheated on the other... fine, the spouce that was cheated on probably has some of the blame too... considering the fact that if you looked at your relationship critically, you would likely have to ask yourself... ok.. what did I do that caused him or her to go searching for someone else? But no... a woman is never wrong LOL

Answer 1

I happen to agree with you, in fact I am impressed at your enlightened view of women...However,the only reason I agree is because I did used to think & feel the ways you descibed,but at a younger age...Maturity & relationship experiences have taught me well over the years..Plus I think most of that is true in the "newness" of a relationship,but once the 2 people are together for quite some time it is more open & blunt due to the fact they have come to know each other so well in time...Most relationships do seem to end within the first year or two,and your issues are part of that reason...I guess the only answer I have to why women do what they do is,...its just their nature..Plus now I am at the point where I can blame it all on menopause..=)
Great Q btw..

Answer 2

None of what you said describes me at all. I'm forthright to the point of being tactless. I've been called downright rude exactly because I don't drop hints, and I do attack the problem directly. Some of the men I've met don't appear to appreciate directness. Contrary to what you are suggesting.

Maybe you shouldn't be lumping all women together like that. It's so easy to dismiss generalizations as false, and it doesn't help the point you're trying to make at all. It just makes it look as though you don't know how to argue a point logically.

Answer 3

I watch and wait for the right time and very tactfully spit it out, yet most of the time I tend to figure things out for myself through his mannerisms and most of the time I hit it right on the nose. Before I figured out how to play the game I was indeed the cause of my own problems.

Answer 4

I don't have this issue, I openly communicate on a regular basis. I do not read minds, and do not assume anyone I am involved with can either. I love open and honest communication, it is a gift. God bless****

Answer 5

....a lot of times i try talking to my partner before it becomes a huge problem. unfortunately\y he does not have time for me until i am SCREAMING AND CRYING and acting as if i have gone mad.


also at times, when i talk to my husband, i feel as if he is not listening or his answer is not objective. Bashing the other person in the skull is not a very objective nor polite way to solve my problem. Also, at times, when i explain how i feel about a problem, i get told that i am being silly whenever it is a topic that is very important it to me.

maybe as a way to solve our problems, woman should be more forward about our thoughts/problems and men should listen better and try to offer more objective advice.