i am 18 years old.i am conscious about myself because I've been in a serious relationship but my girl left me. but i love her so much. i did everything to her. i gave all my time, my attention,i lose many of my friends because of her, i can die for her! but she has no choice but to stay apart from me because she don't love me anymore... how will i love someone if she always on my mind and i always miss her. i love her so much! is this a trauma that i feel now? i feel that i cannot love someone because i love this girl so much even if she don't like me anymore? what should i do?? please help! me
2007-03-28 17:53:12 · 16 answers · asked by JP 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hello JP! First of all you should not ignore the pain you are feeling now, but don't bug her either. In fact don't acknowledge her at all, if she has any feelings for you she will start missing you and will contact you. 18? hon, you will fall in love again, trust me. I tell my kids who are 13 and 17, that if they decide to get serious with anyone make sure that they "lived their life" first. It's better to have someone in your life that has already gotten the "partying" "clubbing" "hanging out" and or the "single life" out of their system. You should live it up and do what YOU want to do and that is best for YOU! Dont miss out on all the fun you can have at this age with your friends, girls WILL COME AND GO, your friends will always be there so be there for them. You'll meet "HER" whoever it may be later in life, but right now you should better Yourself for You and Your future, don't worry about her. There are plenty more out there. Trust me. Hang in there, it will pass, I PROMISE.
2007-03-28 18:05:19 · answer #1 · answered by hott_chicana187 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know from both sides how it feels. I have been in your shoes and I am the one hurting someone now. First, you are 18. You may think life is over, but trust me, you will fall in love many more times in your life. I am 32 and it looks a little different than it did when I was 18. Second, if she didn't love you anymore the kindest thing she could do was be honest and let you go. Sometimes you can do everything right and it isn't enuff. The more you try to push the more she will distance herself from you. And you will lose her friendship. Don't allow someone else to dictate how you carry yourself. She can only do to you what you allow her to do. You need to find something to keep you busy, go back to school, find a hobby, make new friends, etc. But you have to do whatever it takes to find you again. Until my mother died suddenly, I thought losing a man was the worst hurt I could feel. It did not even compare. So, trust me when I say that you will eventually find someone that appreciates you and all you have to offer. She didn't and that is her perogitive. You do you and forget her.
2007-03-29 01:04:27 · answer #2 · answered by famurattla 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is normal that you will feel that way. What happened is still fresh and you will definitely ponder over and over again what happened to the relationship. All you have to remember is not all relationship end up down the aisle. There is always hits and misses. The more misses you have the more likely you will get the right hit in the end.
It is very hard to forget someone especially when you love that person so much. But, life has to go on. We can't live in the past, we have to press on. We have to look into the future with the prospect of meeting other people.
You are eighteen and you have your life ahead of you. You will meet more girls and i know in the end you will find someone whom you will love and will love you in return.
For now, all you have to do is distract yourself from thinking about your ex. Do something that will take your mind from her. Don't go to places that will remind you of her. Take a hobby. Do anything that will keep you busy.
I definitely know that one day you will meet the right girl for you at the right circumstance and the right time.
2007-03-29 01:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by lilcutie98 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love hurts...period! You are still young, time heals all wounds as they say. "Set it free and if it was yours than it was meant to be"
Sometimes "love" isn't such "good love"
If she didn't treat you as well as you did her, then let her go! You said you lost friends over her...what the hell is that? You should never lose or change anything if it's real love, you deserve WAY BETTER!!!!! You also say she doesn't love you anymore....though that's a hard thing to deal with, think about it. Why would you want to waste your charm, etc., on her anyway? Remember though you are both young, there is plenty of time to love, live and laugh! Don't make some other lucky girl suffer because of her, I'm sure the next one will treat you the way you deserve to be treated! GOOD LUCK!
2007-03-29 01:08:16 · answer #4 · answered by foxieroxie1969 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reading your other questions on the same topic, I can see you really feel strongly for her, and this really cuts you deep. For that I'm sorry to hear.
About two years ago, I was heavily depressed, and had a bit of a problem with cocaine and ecstasy, over which I lost my job and dropped out of uni. I was so starved for love, I stupidly got into an e-relationship with some crazy *****. I thought I "loved" her, was so blind to the fantasy I completely overlooked the fact it was a game to her. Turns out she was playing me and some other guy the exact time, saying she loved us both etc. When I found out the truth, I wasn't as hurt as I thought I'd be. In fact I was pretty happy, because I was free.
You need to look back on your relationship and evaluate the person you were. You need to ask yourself if she deserved all the love and attention you have to offer, if she didn't, you need to realise it. Trust me, it will make you feel better thay one day you'll meet someone you deserve, console in this.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll pull through it. If you want to chat or anything, feel free to IM me.
2007-03-29 02:07:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time can heal a broken heart. You will eventually get stronger and move on. You will alwasy remember her and think about her becasue she was an important part of your life. As people get older they sometimes grow apart and move different directions.
It normal for you to feel this way, just try to stay focus on other things. You are only 18 - you have a whole world to explore. Go to college and get a great career - in a few years when you come by all high rollin - she can only wish.
A successful future should be your goal.
2007-03-29 01:01:37 · answer #6 · answered by Jan!3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We've all been here and done this, its part of growing up. We've all felt the way your feeling right now, because everyone has at one time thought they were going to die because of loosing a love of their life. A few weeks later we find out....we lived through it. You know what, you will go on and find another love and wonder what the heck you ever saw in the person who left you. Hang in there, every day makes it easier. Get out with some friends and get your mind off it.
2007-03-29 01:03:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your loss. I had a similar situation and I am heart broken too. Your heart is in shock and is trying to emotionaly deteach you from her. It is strange and it really hurts. Things that have helped me playing with animals, flirting with other people (don't let yourself go on the rebound.), getting a haircut, not talking or seeing your ex, talking with loved ones about it, doing things other things that make me happy, and talking to a therapist. I wish you luck and I hope your heart will mend soon! PS This will pass with time, as they always say time heals. Also this shock is a lot like when a loved one dies. You must grieve and then start the healing process.
2007-03-29 01:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by operajester 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A person needs to learn to be happy with them self before they can find happiness with someone else. Otherwise, it's like just spreading problems around, handsome.
Read the book LOVE, by Leo Buscaglia.
It's GRRREAT! It has lots of great answers.
It's a lifelong challenge for each person to become more loving. To increase our capacity to love and be loved.
The main determining factors of ability to get along with people is your capacity to love and be loved, and your skills at resolving issues and conflicts.
To be a desirable chick magnet, I suggest to focus on being a good listener, never selfish, always honest, helpful, respectful and caring.
Happiness is like a butterfly...
Turn your attention
to other things,&
it lands softly on your shoulder.
Life is short.
Consider her gone.
Don't obsess or pester.
You need to grieve for your loss,
but don't groove on that too long.
You deserve happiness.
2007-03-30 00:13:13 · answer #9 · answered by XCoSkiGirl1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahh a hard crush. i feel you. i was in your shoes. im 20 now. i have a few questions for you.
do you two still hang out? talk on the phone? any communication? if not anymore. itd be hard to get anything going again.
but first and foremost. YOU said "i did everything to her. i gave all my time, my attention". now here's the thing. how old is she? at your age. if she is 18 or so....feelings ain't no thing feelings COME and GO. most girls don't want commitment. its rare. big things TO DO, if you hang out with her ever again, show her that you can TRUST her, and that your NOT addicted to her. You MIGHT BE but she doesn't have to know that its crazy and unhealthy. just act like you were friends again... don't say things like LOVE til she likes you AGAIN, and says it first. its a scary thing for some people to take in.
alright buddy Good luck. oh PS im with my girl now listen to me.
2007-03-29 01:02:21 · answer #10 · answered by Jon S 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋