A couple months ago I witnessed the dead body of the victim of a suicide. Now, I have found out that I work with this womans ex boyfriend. Im not supposed to know any of this because of the awkwardness and pain it would cause and now I dont know how to act around him. Also, what are the existential meanings behind these two events coinciding in my life?
2007-03-28 17:39:23 · 8 answers · asked by Jackie D 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Recently a friend of mine went through a similar situation.
She found her husband hanging in the shed outside shortly after he returned from a tour of duty in Iraq. Chances are, you and the ex too are deeply affected by this event on many levels. Professional help is recommended. Don't try to cope, (or help the ex cope) without professional (psychiatric) help. It can become a very hairy situation very quickly. As far as the meaning, of running into him....chalk it up to It's a small world.
2007-03-28 17:47:03 · answer #1 · answered by Steven C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought suicide meant the suicide was the cause of his own death--that's what it means. However, I am with you in not wanting to get chummy with these two regardless of whatever the circumstances were. There are too many people in the world not to avoid them. So long as you are working in the same place maintain a formal front as you do with anyone you have no particular interest in. Do not let curiosity draw you into getting closer. Probably you would gain no insight anyway.
The existential angle is a trap. There is no existential reason. This had nothing to do with you and that's the way you want to keep it. Be glad you live you life better than that.
2007-03-29 00:55:28 · answer #2 · answered by richard d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key is not to "act" in any other way but the authentic way. Which means that if you face this woman's ex, then acknowledge what happened; acknowledge that it's awkward, painful, etc.
This woman who committed the suicide was obviously suffering. For you to deny it, to ignore it by tip-toeing around it, or to treat it as taboo would amount to an unethical act in my opinion. I'm not saying that you should bring up the topic at work while you two are busy, but do acknowledge it in some way to him. Ultimately, the fact still remains that this woman suffered. She committed suicide and you saw her dead, and this man's actions had something to do with it.
And as far as you not wanting to bring it up because you "weren't supposed to know" well, you do know! You must acknowledge that fact and the trauma that seeing this person dead may have caused for you.
What I'm saying is that when people suffer because of other people their suffering should be heard, regardless of how awkward, painful, or embarrassed, etc. it may make others around them feel. Why should you suffer from seeing this kind of violence in silence? Why should there be silence surrounding this woman's suicide?
2007-03-29 01:20:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get too attached to the situation. Just stay out of it, the whole scenario. Stay passive as if you didn't know this person other than just plain co-worker. If you get too emotionally attached to this worry, it may traumatize you.
You said suicide though, the death was voluntary, in all angles.
About the coincidence, it is not just coincidence if you believe in fate. There is a reason why everything now is coinciding, but to give you a good advice, stay out of it, focus on yourself.
2007-03-29 02:18:48 · answer #4 · answered by oscar c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are responsible for their own thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Nobody can cause a suicide but the one who decides to end the life they had. It is not your problem or theirs. Treat himthe same way you treat everyone else. Act. don't react. Have a nice day.
2007-03-29 01:47:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you say that you cannot ignore the problem, why not face it? Or ask you boss to transfer you to a different office?
Bite the sour apple and go up to the person during a break, and tell him that you want to extend your condolences for his girlfriend. Try not to be too specific or lengthy unless unavoidable.
2007-03-29 11:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by Fuzzy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicides are only illegal if you fail and then the person killing themselves is to blame not whatever motivated them.
There is no reason to believe that you are in someway connected to these people other than you know what happened.
All you should do is be yourself.
2007-03-29 03:02:31 · answer #7 · answered by LORD Z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try and remove yourself from this area of your work. However no one is responsible for someone else committing suicide, you should not think that this man is responsible.
2007-03-29 11:08:16 · answer #8 · answered by thelogicalferret 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋