help! i am just 18 and i got a 9months old son, his dad left us a couple of weekas ago. my son's birthday would be on JUNE. on his birthday, my mother wants to baptized him. since his daddy and i are not yet married, my mother wants to baptized my son using my surname, meaning, i'll just be his bilogical mother, but in paper, i'll be his sister.
what should i do?? what's the advantages and disadvantages of it to my son and me??
2007-03-28 17:26:43 · 28 answers · asked by piggy_cutie019 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
What name is on your babies birth certificate? All children deserve their daddy's name whether or not the dad deserves the baby...it is not about anyone but the baby...
God does not want any strife between you and the babies dad-or anyone...
I don't know the circumstances of your babies daddy walking out, but it is very important for your child's self-esteem that he be involved regardless of what anyone else may say...it is the best thing for your precious child and that must come before personalities. Even if the only way to get his attention is by filing papers for support. The support is not merely because of the money, but what the support means to a child- complete abandonment by either parent is devastating for children.
I think at 18 yrs of age you may be able to do it better than others who are older...you must humble yourself and make amends with your babies dad, do whatever it takes to be friends; the devil will try to destroy any ties so you must be wise and resist being jealous or envious etc..., be loving and joyful, and kind no matter what YOU not anyone else must be humble and kind and gentle...and everyone is attracted to loving joyful people...it may take time but you and your baby will reap the benefits.
You must become the parent not your parent(s) or in the long run when you want to be mom your own mom and/or dad will resent you and visa verse and this will bring more strain to the child, and today many grandparents are taking their children's children...it is a mess. Be respectful, but be mom and let mom be grandma. You should ask the pastor and/or his wife to pray for you and the baby, and you should be very involved in a Christian church youth group; where you will learn what God expects you to teach your baby and God will love you through all of this...if you allow Him to...He will bless you for teaching your baby in His ways...
Never give up
Let Joy be your sacrifice and in all things give thanks (even the hard times)...God will bless you and your baby; God says that He will be your babies Father; He is our Father.
God Bless YOU Sista!
Sista C
2007-03-28 18:37:24 · answer #1 · answered by sista c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because a child is baptised with one name doesnt mean anything... its what is on the birth certificate. Unless you are from another country and in that case I have no idea what to say to this. It sounds old fashioned and odd to think that just because your son has your surname that he would be your brother on paper! There are people I know who have given their child their surname and it was only so they could have the same last name. The only time you run into problems is when you do marry your son will have a name no one else has... his new daddy and you and any other children will have a different name than him.
2007-03-29 00:32:05 · answer #2 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mom is embarassed you have a son at such a young age. I don't think she's fully accepted the fact and therefore wants to find ways to hide it and protect you from judging eyes. The thing is, he Is your son, and there is nothing that anyone can do to change or hide it. Tell her too bad .. Baptize your son if you wish.. but do not lie and pretend you are his sister. That's wrong. As fas as the dad, he's not worth it if he left. You'll find someone else who has twice personality and love he does for both you and your son. And in the end, it will all be worth it! Good luck to you and God bless!
2007-03-29 00:34:36 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you are the mother and using the surname on the paperwork for the baptism does NOT make you his sister. Your confused. If your son took his fathers name then he has to be baptized with the given name, if you gave him your last name then he is baptized with his surname. As for your mom wants him baptized your the mother if you don't want him to undergo this then you do not have to let him. I had my daughter baptized because it was something my parents wanted, I refuse flat out to do it to my son.
But like I said you are confused the paper using his surname will NOT make you his sister.
2007-03-29 09:21:34 · answer #4 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the disadvantage to be baptized with your surname will be the least of your worries. You will not be his sister on paper, you will still be his mother with your last name on his baptismal papers unless you are letting your parents adopt the baby or your son already has your boyfriends last name as his own on his birth certificate. You should use the last name on his baptismal that he has on his birth certificate.
You are 18 years of age with one baby and another on the way and not married. You need help so that you can go back to school and support yourself and the two babies you are going to be responsible since Prince Charming left you to do this alone. I wish you the best, and please get back in school as soon as you can.
Unwed mothers and their offspring are the fastest growing population living in poverty.
2007-03-29 00:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most religions now single mothers can get there children baptized and be on the baptizmal paper. If it is your child and you are doing everything to take care of the baby I would say no you want to be on there. But if it isn't your religion then don't do it. Wait till you decide what religion you want to practice and do it then. That is your child and you are ultimately responsible for it. Unless you give up custody. Get your head on straight and do your best to take care of you and the baby. Don't worry about men or the father when the right one comes along you will notice.
2007-03-29 00:32:42 · answer #6 · answered by littledueceb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he has your surname does not make you look like hes your brother. What if you and your ex were married and you kept your last name and gave your son your name it wont change anything. He will always be your son no matter what. Baptize him if you want to or what till he's old enough to make the decision himself. You know he's your son and so does everyone else.
2007-03-29 00:34:12 · answer #7 · answered by *Aimzie* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't understand what you're talking about. What do you mean that you'll be his sister?You can baptize him with just your name on the baptismal certificate. It's not like it's a birth certificate. If the baby's father signed his birth certificate, then legally, his last name is his father's regardless of whether you're together or married or not. If the baby's father did not sign the birth certificate, the baby has to use your last name. Baptism has nothing to do with all that.
2007-03-29 00:32:24 · answer #8 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Won't everyone already know that he's your son anyway? In most cases using the surname is to protect the birthmother from people knowing who is the real mother. But since the age of the kid I don't really understand the point.
2007-03-29 00:29:48 · answer #9 · answered by becky m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont agree with this. Thats only my opinion and you can take it or leave it. But you are the mother of your child and 18 in this day and age is not too young to have a child. Even if you are doing it on your own. Whats your veiws on this? As for babtizing that is solely up to you and what you want for your son.
2007-03-29 00:32:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋