i was cheated on raped and just treated worst than a adog by my ex husband, i know he is a loser but at the same time i loved him then and i guess i still do now because i mostly think of the good times now and the qualitys he has that my current husband doesn't sometimes i actually think my ex loved me but just couldn't keep it in his pants(sex addict?) Anyways things didn't get bad till the end of our five yrs together. My husband now i don't feel is a cheater his x cheated on him which i can understand why he is a better man than my ex more responsible grown up ect but he is a nag and i thinks he was lonely and i helped him over his loneliness as my ex husband did the same for me i married someone just like myself and in a way they drive you to cheat showng no affection ect. Now i crave my ex husband's loving ways i don't understand this i think of him everyday as he might me he told me that once when we seperated before our divorce but since the divorce we never talked 3yrs now.
2007-03-28 16:59:23 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The guy cheated on you, raped you and you were treated worse than a dog??? Girl, puhleeassse. He's a LOSER, there is NOTHING to miss at all.
2007-03-28 17:03:34 · answer #1 · answered by Speedy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that your self-esteem needs work. What happens is subconsciously you crave abuse. I bet when things have gone well in your life, you have done something to screw that up. If someone really seems to like you, I bet you blow them off. That is because deep inside you you think: "if he likes me, there must be something wrong with him or it is because he is desperate." So you covet those who show you disrespect, and instead of forming a love relationship, you form a co-dependency. Of course, it is like being addicted to a drug-once removed you crave it even though you know it is bad for you. I'm guessing you were mistreated in some way as a child. Maybe you didn't live up to your parents expectations. Maybe they wanted you to be someone that you just couldn't be-so you wrongly think that what you are is something less than desirable. Well you are wrong about that. Use the next little while to get set on just who you are. Learn to love that person. Then you may be ready to find that special someone-and you will leave all the others in your dust.
2007-03-29 00:17:21 · answer #2 · answered by Campo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OH Babygirl,
You are just feeling that codependency thing that abused and neglected women go through after separation. You found someone that is not like your ex husband and that was a good step for you. Now all you need to do is express to him how you feel and he should do the same. But you may need counseling for you both.
2007-03-29 00:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not uncommon, but it is a deep psychological reason to your conflict of emotions. It strongly appears you need or want to be controlled by others. Your current husband does not do this, because he needed you to help him. You are feeling sorry for a rapist, just because he told you he loved you. You are rationalizing his bipolar and dangerous behavior. You'll have to instill pain each time you 'fantasize' being back together with your ex. One potential scenario I believe you should play and replay into your thought pattern is that your ex may actually kill you, intentionally or unintentionally. He cannot control himself or his bipolarish, violent temperment
2007-03-29 00:11:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We always tend to remember the good more often than we the bad, even when our own common sense tells us that we should leave the person alone. I would suggest getting counseling to discuss the pain that you went through and to talk through the rape. Being alone is much better than being with someone who treats you badly. Please dont contact this scum bag. If you can get through these lonely, dark times without him, you will LOVE and APPRECIATE yourself that much more!!!
2007-03-29 00:04:33 · answer #5 · answered by TwinkaTee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just lonely and miss the familiarity of the man that you were married to. But you know the truth, you know what he did to you...so, focus on that, get out there and start meeting other people.
2007-03-29 00:04:49 · answer #6 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know.. if he raped you that means he did not care about your feelings but rather just wanted some.
stay with your husband and dont cheat on him.. your ex husband did not care for you as much as your current husband does now so get over him
he's not good enough for you
2007-03-29 00:09:14 · answer #7 · answered by hanalei 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that you're married to someone just like yourself, can you talk to your new husband about your struggle?
It sounds like your struggle comes from regret about your decision to divorce the 'difficult man' and marry someone more congenial (safer).
2007-03-29 00:40:26 · answer #8 · answered by Sultan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes people are so confused by a person rejecting them that you actually think u love the person when in reality you want to be accepted and loved like you can love and you want to know why that person rejected you so u tend to have emotions tied to that person that u cant sort out BUT IT IS NOT LOVE
2007-03-29 00:06:49 · answer #9 · answered by deleted user 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I can read between the lines here....it sounds to me like you had a bum of a guy but one who gave you great sexual stimulation. Maybe you should just get yourself a vibrator to take care of the missing part and enjoy the rest..............
2007-03-29 00:04:57 · answer #10 · answered by Laura 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋