Why do so many women make excuses about "not being able to breastfeed"?

Question

Why not just say you made the choice not to?

I knew people would have opinions on this, but sheeesh... I made no judgement whatsoever except for perhaps questioning some women's honesty. I never said I am for OR against breastfeeding, frankly, that's not important here. What is important is people's accountability, and it seems to me that many women are not accountable in this area.

Answer 1

For some, it is a breeze and for others it is very difficult. However, many women do give up prematurely because they believe they are "drying up" or don't have enough milk. All I can do is share my experience working with a lactation specialist.

I had to see a lactation specialist for one year. The first 6 weeks had to do with latching (my son was tongue-tied), overabundance of milk, pain, clogged ducts. The rest of the year had to do with my son's allergies. I learned that it is VERY rare for a mother to not produce enough milk. It just takes more work and can be very draining physically when a person is sleep-deprived with a newborn. Through a routine of pumping and various feeding patterns, most women can replenish their supply if it is decreasing. For some women, they think they aren't producing enough because their baby wants to eat every hour to hour and a half or so. Yet in most cases they are producing enough and the baby just metabolizes quickly. Case in point, my son ate every 1 1/2 hours almost around the clock and I was always overabundant in milk supply from the day it came in. As long as your child falls within the norm for a newborn (every hour to every 3 hours), you are most likely producing enough milk.

Anyway, my intention is not to offend women who gave up prematurely, but if a woman can keep going until 6 weeks (no matter how hard it gets), this is the time milk supply starts to regulate and it gets easier.

Anyway, getting back to your question, the benefits of breastfeeding are plastered everywhere. Who wouldn't feel guilty by choosing formula over these benefits? I think as a result, the excuses do often come from a guilty conscience and/or misconceptions about whether they have enough milk, latching problems, etc. Many hospitals have lactation specialists and I think more women should try seeing one before giving up if they are having a rough time.

Answer 2

I tried very hard for 3 months to feed my baby. We started out with an incorrect attachment which we seen a lacation specialist for and we corrected that. However, even with pumping to help increase milk production, I still didn't make anymore. I never became engorged. I never leaked. I tried fenugreek pills and mother's milk tea. At 3 weeks my baby was still way below birth weight. The doctor had us start feeding him 2 ounces of formula a day. She thought that maybe he was too weak to empty the breast. So we started that. He did seem to stay awake longer and more alert after a few days. He stayed at the breast longer. My milk production kinda picked up but my baby still seemed very hungry when there was no milk there. We had to increase the formula feedings. I had to go back to work, and I mean had to, we were about ready to lose everything. I pumped at work every 3 hours. I fed baby right before work and right when I got home. I work 12hour shifts. When I was at work the most I was able to pump was 8 ounces in a 12hour period. After the first week it went down to 7, then down to 6 the next week, then 5, and that pattern until I could pump nothing out and baby was barely getting anything. I let my baby breastfeed until he was getting nothing when he latched on. I figured a little amount was better then none at all. I really really tried to breastfeed. I know that for so many reasons breastfeeding is the best. The babies are healthier, they have a good bond with thier mothers, they are more secure. All sorts of reasons, and really the ones that I love the best is that it is easier for baby to digest breastmilk so no colicky baby and breastmilk doesn't cost like formula. The money spent on formula could be put to better use like a college fund.
I cried all the time because I could not strictly breastfeed and to have it cut so short. I really enjoyed being able breastfeed. I had a really hard time dealing with it at first but all I could tell myself is I really tried hard to do what was best for my baby, but my body wouldn't allow it for some reason. I don't feel that I am making excuses, because believe me I tried. I looked up every website I could to find solutions and suggestions. I tried the whole not getting out of bed for a few days thing, where you are just pretty much cuddled up to baby and they are breastfeeding the whole time. I tried hard to make it work. I really think that some women just are unable to breastfeed.
After reading what so many wrote, it makes me feel so guilty for not trying harder. Makes me feel like I am a terrible mother because I wasn't obviously wasn't trying hard enough.

Answer 3

I planned on breastfeeding when my son was born, but there was so much frustration with him being in the NICU and when we got home I kept trying but couldn't ever get him to do it. I pumped for about 2 weeks and then started birth control. Even when I did pump it was only half of what he needed. So I'm sure alot of people have had this happen, there really are excuses. Some women do feel pressured because it's the right thing to do, so maybe some do make it up.

Answer 4

properly right here i'm a woman too, and that i've got been given to assert '' hands as much as you'' you bought a bloody stable factor there, and it relatively made me snicker - beware females i think of we've a guy right here who is conscious us females and the tricks we now and returned use. All you're able to do whilst refused the subsequent time via a meant headache is seem her good interior the face and say '' concept you woman ought to all multi activity ''. Now, to around issues up, and seeing as I a woman have been truthful and favourite you for that query, what's the explanation whilst its any incorrect way around, the guy would not choose for to yet she does, what excuse does he use then ?

Answer 5

i am bottle feeding and have never made an excuse - i tell people it was my choice to bottle feed (formula). I agree that it is guilt and people making judgements that you are somehow not as good a mother which is a load of crap. I would not make up an excuse though as it is my decision and i stand by it and any a hole that wants to question my decision to raise my child is not worth my breath anyway.

Answer 6

I think because they are always looked down on for the choice they made and feel they have to defend themselves against the breast feeding fanatics.
My husbands neices decided to use formula because they were smokers. I breast feed, but I didn't question their decision since it was their choice and at least this way their babies were not exposed to nicotine and the other chemicals in cigarettes. But if you ask them why they get defensive because they always get nasty comments about it.

Answer 7

Many women hit bumps in the road while breastfeeding and give up because it's painful or they think that formula will be easier. I have a friend who tells everyone that her milk never came in or that she got "mastitis" but really I know that it's because her nipples were sore, she was tired and she didn't want to deal with it all. I still catch her every once in a while telling other Moms about how she "couldn't" nurse... when really she could but chose not to.

Answer 8

I agree with barbara why do we need to explain ourselves? I surely won't and don't feel the need to. Because I had a lot of problems that I don't even want to get into. I didn't choose not to breastfeed. I've never heard anyone give a excuses so can't relate. Also why worry about other people?

Answer 9

I quit breastfeeding all my children early. With my first, I could not produce enough milk to sustain my son. I was told by the hospital to supplicate with formula because my son's bilirubin kept elevating and I was not producing enough milk to flush the jaundice out of his system. For over a month, I would start each feeding by breastfeeding, and finishing with formula. I was also pumping. I just could not produce enough milk. I got sick of doing both, so went to bottlefeeding only.With my other children, I got pregnant when they were 3 months old and had to quit when they were 4 months. Are these considered excuses? Because, when asked, I say I was not able to breastfeed.

Answer 10

there are actully alot who cant breast feed i tried soooo hard to breast feed and did for almost 3 months but my son couldnt latch on and then i pumped for almost a month and my milk just disapeared not sure why because i pumped every 3 hours ....
some women just cant do

but i do agree there are some who just choose not to and say they tired but counldnt and they probley feel like people will look down on them for not trying