She has a cell phone, and Dad calls her every time and tells her where to go and what to do when she is with she's with me. He's a total control freak. I told him tonight to have her leave her phone at home or after she's gets off the bus, I'll hold her phone till she goes home. I answered her phone last week because I'm so tired of him calling and telling her what to do and where we can go on MY PARENTING TIME. I tell her and her brothers it's just Dad trying to control everything and he can't on my time when you are with me. He told me if I take her phone he will take action and call the Sheriff. I have court papers saying he interfers on Thursdays. Does anyone have this problem with their ex?
2007-03-28 16:42:11 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just wanted to let all who answered, yesterday went o.k. Dad never called daughter's cell phone. But told her this all rides on her shoulder's on where you and your brothers go! I could'nt believe he told her that. And to top it off, a Police car drove up the street where i was to pick her up at. They just drove by, did'nt talk to me.
2007-03-30 16:18:29 · update #1
One, you cannot say mean things about your ex to your children. That is not right, I know its hard.. but you cannot do it. It is hard on them and causes them emotional damage. Maintain your cool and everything mean you have to say, or any quips about him being a control freak should ONLY be directed at him.
Two, it sounds like he is one, sorry you are stuck with that, but it happens. I would not take the phone away but you can definatly turn it off and give it back to the kids. That way he cannot accuse you of not stealing the cell phone, because they still have the phone.
I feel bad for you, but remember the kids are number one in all break ups and no matter how hard you have to keep a level head for them.
2007-03-28 16:48:18 · answer #1 · answered by Steffi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have dealt with this problem personally.
Call the friend of the court, that is why they exist, and tell him/her what is going on. That way it gets written down and can be used against him in court. You never have to go to court about it necessarily but at least its there in case you have to.
The other people who have said don't involve the kids, well they are right but not fully right. The kids are involved whether you want them to be or not. Since your ex is calling during your time with them you may be forced to talk about things with them and that's not wrong. Tell them you love them and that you would appreciate their understanding until it's all worked out. Leave them out of it as much as you can but when they have to be involved think about them and do everything according to their needs not your own. If you love them you will have no problem doing this.
Lastly, you don't have to even turn the phone off during your Thursday time with your kids. A great way to circumvent the conflict would be to ask her to put it on vibrate and keep it in her purse and that you love her so much you want all the time you can have with her fullfilling and fun and uninterrupted. Then just quickly get her mind off the phone and onto something else. She probably won't here it when it does go off. If that doesn't work, ask the friend of the court for a way to resolve the conflict without giving your ex something to use in court against you. Good luck. This worked for me I hope it works for you.
2007-03-29 00:06:25 · answer #2 · answered by scotthomas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don’t know what he thinks the Sheriff is going to do unless he plans to claim that you’ve stolen the phone (and as long as you give it back then you haven’t stolen it…plus you did tell him not to send it). More than likely the Sheriff will tell him it’s not a criminal matter, it’s a civil matter, and he’ll have to take you back to court to resolve it.
Have you discussed it with an attorney?
The people you don’t need to be discussing this with are the children. This is an issue between you and Dad. Do NOT involve the children in this.
2007-03-28 23:59:00 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not cool that you are telling the kids what you told them. You are putting them in the middle of the little war going on between you and your ex.
As for him calling during your time, why answer the phone? And, just because he says where to go and what to do during your time, doesn't mean that you have to do it.
2007-03-28 23:46:29 · answer #4 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you guys despise each other. Any way you could bury the hatchet for your kids' sake?
2007-03-28 23:47:30 · answer #5 · answered by bigclaire 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have problems with my ex wife, she's just like you. a control freak
2007-03-28 23:46:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋