For married people (who cheated and got cheated on),no smart remarks please!?

Question

Some respond to my first question justify that some end up cheating because the spouse didn't get it from home, what if its not from home? the better half finally ask why the spouse never really been there, never shows affection, passion towards this person??
Will you take your spouse back after the affair, even though that he/she says that theres a deep feelings for the other person building up??
Can you forgive and forget just like that????

Oopps!! when I asked,"if you can take your spouse back even though that he or she says that there's a deep feelings building up for the other person? ( it's the person he/she cheated with ), Can you or will you??

Answer 1

Im not sure but it sounds like you are asking if someone would take there spouse back when they have feelings for someone else-if so no i personally would not-feelings like that are not just going to go away-especially if they are retirned by the other person involved -there is no justification for cheating either, people just make excuses to make it seem like they are a better person then they are-to their self-anyone can cheat its simple and easy what is harder is to remain faithful even in trying times and work things thru

Answer 2

I agree with GDhoney ... it depends on whether you believe the marriage is worth saving. If you decide it is worth it, then it takes a lot of work; and its a shame ... but the cheated on spouse usually does a lot more than their share.

Romantic infidelity (where a spouse has a falling in-love) is excruciatingly painful; and overcoming it seems like rebuilding a house after a hurricane. Its like starting over from scratch.

If you decide to rebuild, then the new house has very little resemblance to the structure that stood there before. Its really a different marriage with completely different spouses.

Answer 3

It is very hard to put things back together...I know, I am in the boat right now. I doubt that it will have a happy ending at all. I am prepared to move on, I don't think my chances of getting back together are very good. Trust is a very delicate thing, no matter who is doing the cheating. The cheater never trusts his mate again, for fear that she is doing the same thing, and the cheatee never trusts in the same way again. Some make it through it stronger and better , but most throw in the towel because of the work it takes to make it better. Good luck

Answer 4

You can never forget and one rarely forgives. I don't understand why he would want you to take him back if he is developing strong feelings for the other woman. Most times they say "I didn't love her" Which really makes me mad because that means he was just using her!
No one ever cheats if they are happy in their marriage, and declining any invitation to do so never is a problem. It is always an ego boost to hear someone thinks your hot. Some men have to have this validation outside of the marriage. Such men have some deep seeded self esteem problems.

Answer 5

You can forgive it's a lot harder to forget. For that you will need the total commitment from the cheating spouse. It is a very hard thing to do. what it boils down to is, is the releationship worth saving? All the excuses that the cheater gives for their actions are lies that they are telling themselves to justify their actions.Getting past this is probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do. Been there done that! My husband and I have agreed to start over and are renewing our wedding vows Sunday.

Answer 6

Nothing worse than feeling like your responsible for the other person misery. It's worse than getting cheated on. It will drive you out of the relationship, how when you show up, they are just disheartened by your very presence. Nothing you do will fire them up, substain a little heat, nothing works. You can't help them except for leaving, and if your committed, you've got no place to go. So you decide, either kill yourself,or go out and start over,.start right now, too, cause it's been too long since anybody has been nice to you. You spend months looking, go to counciling, get pissed, nothing helps. Finally you get a break, someplace to go, and then your attacked in earnest. Poison pen campaignes, malicious phone calls to work and family. They just hate you, or better needed somebody to hate. When you finally escape, forget about going back. It won't work. Get free, stay free. Don't look back.

Answer 7

it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with getting intimacy at home. for both men and women it can be that there are other completely unsexual needs that aren't being met. example: if a wife doesn't stroke her husband's ego enough, he may be drawn to a flirty coworker who makes him feel like the manly man he wants to be. also, if a wife isn't getting the tenderness, understanding, from her husband she may lean on a sensitive guy friend when she hand her spouse have an argument. i think lack of communication about needs and needs not being met is the leading causes for affairs.....but.....some people are just selfish bastards with psycho-sexual problems that refuse to continue monogamy. looking at porn is also an affair, by the way.
forgiveness???? i suggest lots of counseling. the couple must mutually agree to work through it and go from there. people don't forgive and FORGET. they need lots of prayer and counseling. the spouse who suffered the infidelity is totally justified to file for divorce.

Answer 8

It's everybody's own preference. I had accepted and forgiven my ex once. But when she didn't listen and improved upon, I had to leave her and move on. Now I don't think I can forgive my current for the same type of mistake even once.
Also its upon everybody's preferences. A married relationship is based on trust. Once a trust is broken, I don't think, one can trust again, and without trust, there cant be any relationship. Though there would be more than 50% compromises practically.

Answer 9

My husband cheated on me for 8mths with his co workworker and was still makin out with me like everything was fine he said it all started out there was smokin weed in the car and she gave him some head on it blew his mind he said when slept with it was driving him crazy and he kept doing it so he say after a while he counldnt do it no more wanted to cut it off without me knowing.He said he wanted to tell me but wa afiid that il leave she wasnt hearin that **** and told me i always said that if he cheated i would leave but i didnt tryin to work it out now i guess u cant say it until it happen to u .But if theres deep feelings involve i dont no want to say cause that may say work it and he could b still goin back dont wanna make a choice.

Answer 10

I couldn't forgive OR forget. Being faithful and committed to each other is the basis of marriage. It's about making a choice to spend the rest of your life with that one person. When someone chooses to not honor that commitment, there's just no going back to what it once was.