that his kids requested that he and her ex-wife be together again....how will a guy deal with the situation?
2007-03-28 16:31:14 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do not get back with ex because of the kids...Stay with new girl, the kids will be alright...
2007-03-28 17:29:31 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No Don't do it
You got Married for a reason Love but you got Divorced for a reason Lack of Love.
The Kids are just scared by this new person,introduce her slowly and keep your private life separate,don't kiss and hug all the time but spend your time concentrating on them and have some time alone with them.
But after reading the question again who's supposed to be with who,does your new girl have an ex wife lol, now that's a different problem all to together and good luck,wouldn't fancy dating my x husbands boyfriend yuck
2007-03-29 02:38:19 · answer #2 · answered by live life 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
instead of thinking about what your kids have said, think about why they must have said that. when parents get divorced the kids are the ones who suffer the most. knowing you have a new relationship has broken all hopes that was left in your kids of you and ur ex being together again. right now they need consoling. they are most probably feeling insecure, thinking that they might lose their dad or thinking whether this new woman is nice. obviously every child wants their parents to be together but thats mainly because they get scared about the fact if a new person comes along, wil they stil be a happy family? if u have a good communication with your kids (that i think you should) then i think you seriously need to sit down and have a long chat to them. before making any big decisions like this its always good to console it with you kids. you might feel that they're children, what do they know but thats a wrong thing to think and should not be thought. everything that involves changes in the family needs to be discussed first with the family members, and right now thats your kids. explain to them that its not possible for you and your ex to be together again,tel them why... that this new person will love and care for them just like their mother, that they could stil be in touch with their real mum, that you are stil here for them and they have nothing to worry about. im sure they will understand. it takes time. good luck and hope evrything works out...
2007-03-29 00:47:21 · answer #3 · answered by ghetto_soldierez 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how would your children feel when they lived in a constant battle ground.
Part of life is learning and doing hard stuff, which in this case is working out we cant always have what we want. This is not because you should not get back together with your ex (although I dont think you should) this is because if you did, you and her wouldnt be happy. and unless your children are on drugs, they will pick up these vibes. It will screw with thier growing developing minds, like saying "this is what love is" and playing out a loveless false relationship.
You and if possible your ex, need to sit down the kids and tell them its not posible for mum and dad to get back together again as the love for each other has gone and it wouldnt feel nice and if you and she dont feel happy, they wouldnt feel happy.
What they are asking for is "everything back to normal" and are worried about what happens to seeing their parents or having the same degree of time and flexability with their parents as they had before.
They need reassurance, and to be given the time and courage to accept and learn from the divorce, and see nothing bad is going to happen. That they will still see each parent, that there will still be laughing and joking and a whole new world is about to be created, one which they do have a say in- but a say in what they do/ who they see/ how their needs are met, as oppose to controlling the whole thing.
Work out what the need is. Why do they want you back together- prehaps ask them this -do a bit of a brainstorming session with them.Then work out ways around it to help them and keep things healthy.
2007-03-28 23:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well his kids are at least 7 years old then aren't they. So they are on the verge of understanding that that's never going to happen. Be honest with them.
Incidentally I moved my two children with my new girlfriend (now my wife) and they have done really well. They were 5 and 3 at the time.
2007-04-01 11:04:27 · answer #5 · answered by Vulture38 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after 7 years apart i cant understand why your kids would ask for you to get back together again?!
how old are they? i expect if you sit down and explain that adults do sometimes fall out of love but they both ALWAYS love the kids just as much and its DEFINITELY not their fault you're divorced, and they can see you as often as possible, that they will soon realise what is reality.
have they only asked this since you met your new g/f? could just be down to jealousy, or could be a fear of you abandoning them if you have a 'new life'.
sounds odd but thats what kids think.
my parents stayed together for 15 years after they fell out of love and although i admire them for trying to give me a 'normal' life, i have screwed up in many relationships because had such a weird role model!
plus it wont be long before THEY have moved out and moved on, and if you let this chance of happimess slip by, you may not find another one. so go for it
good luck
2007-03-31 20:02:41 · answer #6 · answered by hedgewitch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the age of the kids, But he needs to set them down and explain it will never happen. If the ex isn't nuts having them both do it together would be best. Then counseling if nothing else
2007-03-28 23:39:00 · answer #7 · answered by walker9842 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if the ex-wife is mother to those kids it may be defficult for you to bring in another wife as there will be problem, the kids will not like the new wife and the new wife will not be happy with the kids. they would have seen this girl as their enemy who has come to take their mother's place by so doing the girl will maltreat them and there will be no peace in the family.
i think all you have to do is to reconcile with your ex-wife and let her return and take care of the kids.
2007-03-29 06:14:02 · answer #8 · answered by babygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't go through life based on your kid's decisions. You are the parent and its YOUR happiness on the line. All kids want their parents together - thats natural. But only YOU can decide - nobody else. Good luck sweety.
2007-03-28 23:36:57 · answer #9 · answered by apache_lizz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit them down and be honest with them tell them that although mum and dad dont love each other any more it doesnt mean that either of you love them any less and that sometimes its better for you and them if you arent with their mum. And tell them that although you know have an new love they will always be your riority and it doesnt ean they have to stop loving their mum any less hope this helps i fully understand your situation
2007-03-29 04:48:28 · answer #10 · answered by stripeypipey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋