When a guy asks how you are, and you tell the truth.. you are pregnant and it is miserable.. is it just me, or

Question

is it insulting when they say 'OH, here we go...' or just 'think positive, it will put a better spin on it'... Is it just me, or is that insulting?

Answer 1

i agree. i'm not sure how to "put a better spin" on the fact that i get heartburn from nothing more than a glass of water, none of my clothes fit and i have resort to constantly wearing sweats, my feet look like sausages, and i can't breath all all. they have no idea what we go through.

Answer 2

I'd say Think positive... you're not miserable, you just think you are. Enjoy the feeling while it lasts. You get pregnant for only 9 months.
(There are times when I miss the feeling of being pregnant.)
About the guy, if he asks you again, give him a book about pregnancy... maybe it will shut him up... understand you better.

Answer 3

Dear I am a man and I know that pregnancy maybe not very pleasent no mater how much you want to have a baby. So when you mate asks how do you feel, tell him, that you are very happy that you are going to have a baby and you are proud to carry his baby inside you, however phisically it is hard for you and you don't feel good (be specific: you feel tired, backpain, nausea, mood changes, weired apetite). Also tell him that you need his strongest support.

If he really loves you and he want's the baby, he'll understand he's reposonsablity (after all, he helped you to put a baby there) and will support you throughout your pregnancy.

Answer 4

i believe its insulting because men do not understand what we women go through when we are pregnant, most just think because your are pregnant you would be happy and cheerful all the time except when you want something to eat and can't get it.... maybe the next time a guy says something like that tell him to leave you alone and tell him to try have a baby

Answer 5

try not to use the word "miserable" when you discuss pregnancy. i did that and 30 years later i regret those feelings. i would love to do it all over again. i would like to feel miserable again, i would like to cry when she comes out this time. i would like to bond. i didn't do those things.
But i do know that the last thing the father wants to hear is that you are carrying his little prince/princess and you are not happy about it. be positive! this is a little miracle growing inside of you that is made from your love and his (making love?). when you feel that way, find something positive like baby names, room decor, baby bag, what you're going to wear when you both come home, baby showers, birthday parties...
Make your own beautiful memories so that when you are 55 you will smile when you think of this pregnancy and the baby you both made.

Answer 6

Of course it is pathetic and irritating. Try using a bit of humor on your part since obviously you need a reason to smile.

Perhaps physically describing the feeling of a giant melon in his a-s-s....or offering to show him....

Just smile. Stupid is as stupid does...he is just not getting it. Perhaps he will past a kidney stone in the next week or so....that hurts more than childbirth I assure you....(I work in surgery and regularly compare pains between surgeries or the sexes).

At least the misery of late pregnancy passes soon;-)

Answer 7

the problem is that "how are you?" doesn't actually usually mean that. it's a standardized greeting that most of the time doesn't really want to know how you really are. so you have to wonder if they want all that info really. also they are trying to be supportive or reassuring with those statements or let you know they don't want to hear it and they don't realize that they are actually insulting. there are a lot of communication problems in the situation you describe.

Answer 8

Yes, it is insulting. Don't worry ~ it's normal! Men can NEVER truly understand how we feel when we are pregnant. Maybe they just shouldn't ask how we are doing at all, then they won't have to deal with the truth!! Don't sugar-coat how you are feeling, it's good to get it out:) Good Luck!!

Answer 9

I guess it would be insulting, but I never told anyone I was miserable when I was pregnant.

Answer 10

it goes either way. people automatically assume bringing life is a piece of cake. men don't know jack about being pregnant. they just don't like to hear us complain. next time tell them or whoever asks, "how do you think i'm doing, i'm pregnant and leave it as that!