Is affair is good for the marriage?

Question

I love, respect, care for my wife married for 12 years, but in the department of intimacy, passion its going down the hill. I strongly believe that by having an affair, this part of our marriage can get better.. What y'all think?

Answer 1

It isn't up to us. Do what you will.

Answer 2

NO, for all the energy you'd spend wining and dining someone new, just to lose it all in a divorce that you brought on. Why not put that energy, time, and thought into saving what you've got. She must be pretty special, because if you don't take care of her someone else will.

Why don't you plan a weekend away make all the arrangements including the sitter. Don't tell her anything, but to have her bags packed Thursday night, but don't tell her why. Make it a day trip, somewhere you can be in a half of a day. Take off that Friday, get the kids to the sitter and have the car packed when she gets home.
Make plans to do things she would like to do. IE. wine tasting, gardens, My wife is a big fan of bed and breakfast inns. Be creative. Then talk to her about the future together, what fun you've two have had. If you stay in a hotel find one who has a day spa close and set her up a massage. TRUST me you'll get your just rewards, BUT be careful it may re spark the romance in your life and she may want to do it again.

Hope this helps Were newlyweds going on 12 yrs. and she the last love of my life.

Answer 3

I think that you want to have an affair and you are willing to sell out your marriage, your wife and yourself to do it. It sounds like you are right there - someone in mind who is willing and you want someone to tell you it's ok. IT"S NOT!!!!!!! In what possible way could you having an affair bring back the passion in your marriage. I'm sure your wife would be so passionate for someone who cheated on and betrayed her. Stop being selfish and complaining and whining that you have no passion in your marriage and do something about it, WITH YOUR WIFE!!! 12 years is a long time, don't throw that away because your bored and instead of turning to your wife you want to take the easy way and turn outside your marriage. YOU WILL NEVER SOLVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR MARRIAGE OUTSIDE YOUR MARRIAGE. Give your wife some credit, a chance to work at rekindling the passion and intimacy in your marriage, it can be fun and exciting. Have an affair with your wife, meet her at a hotel, dress up, whatever turns you on, just do it with her, not with someone else. Once you do it, you can never take it back, you will destroy your marriage, your family, life as you know it will end and it will not be worth it, I promise you. Think with the head on your shoulders not the one in your pants. Marriage can be a struggle, you have to work at it, with eachother. I tell you what, If you can go to your wife and say "Hey honey, I'm thinking that me sleeping with another woman will make our marriage better what do you think? and if she says "sure honey, I think thats a great idea" then go for it!!

Answer 4

SK: I think you are an idiot. If you loved and respected your wife you would spend your time rekindling that romance not trying to replace it!!! Go to your town's sex shop - buy some toys, get a video - buy yourself one of those "rip-off" outfits - fireman, cop construction worker. Get up tomorrow morning and write a note that she will find after you leave for work- Tell her she is sexy and that you love her more now than you did the day you married her. That type of stuff will make her want to "eat you up". Women generally get turned on by mental foreplay - a cup of coffee in bed, a sweet compliment - a note found in her purse - a call just to say I was remembering the time we did it in the shower --- Come on you are clever enough to think about "doing someone else" -- Use that intelligence to make your marriage better --Do you want your kids to know you had an affair - Heck maybe your daughter will consider that normal and someday she could marry a sleazy cheating guy??!! Think about it -k-

Answer 5

If you love your wife you say you do. You need to TALK to her. You dont have to come right out and say "baby our sex life sucks" but you can go about it in other ways. Men dont realize that we are tired at the end of the day. Like in my case im tired of taking care of a infant that isnt content for a second. Make her a bubble bath, nice dinner etc. That just might get her in the mood. Try new things in the bedroom. Dont just pull your pants down and say "come and get it". But it sounds like to me that you have already made up your mind. If you really wanted your marriage to work an affair wouldnt of ever crossed your mind. Think long and hard about this. Your wife will find out eventually about the affair, And while you got your 5 mins of pleasure you have ruined your wifes life forever. If you have kids, you will also ruin their lives. Masterbate for goodness sakes. But i would begin by talking to her.

Answer 6

Don't go for that wild idea where u will cheat two persons. Consult a good doctor or a psychologist. Make both of u better active(from health point of view) & attractive looking. Go for sight seeing once a fourtnight. Play together carrom or other indoor games & deliberately get defeated. Mutual love may bounce back. Be sweetter, softer, sincere in words & actions & silent(when no work is there with u) & be more tolerant & patient. Help wife in her domestic works with interest to make things more interesting. Decrease your weight, if it has increased. Be religious too.

Answer 7

I don't think so.

I think if you want the passion with her to improve, you should change the settings and things you do. Get to know each other in different ways, some of which nothing to do with physical.

I know a guy, stupid enough to have tried wife swaping sort of.
He let he was sleep with a good friend who'se married. What a mess!!! Yuck.

But its your life. If you really love and respect, you will find ways to engage her differently. Try new things.

The world is a big place.

Answer 8

NO! It will make it WORSE! If you are looking to put the passion back into your sex life try some new things ... new positions, toys... etc.
If you respect her and love her you will not put her through an affair.
Go to a marriage counselor... sex therapist... talk to her more.. FOREPLAY!
Cuddle, do things you did when you dated! Something !
BUT Do not have an affair.. you will regret it.

Answer 9

what does love, and respect actaully mean to you? if you really feel like that for your wife, why an affair. all that does is blow it out of proportion. if your gonna go that far then might as well let your wife know ahead and see if she's gonna divorce you, then you can have all the affairs you want. or i consider talking about that part of your life with your wife, thats respect.

Answer 10

If affairs are good for marriage, there would be a lot of great marriages out there judging by the amount of cheating people talk about on here.

Answer 11

so your saying if you have sex with another woman it will turn you on with your wife that will be the same as she was before the affair? listen to yourself. if you love,respect and care for your wife then you would do the mature thing and find the right way to work out your sexual difficulty. going outside the marriage is not right. what happen to for better or for worse?