And what can you do to get someone to Stop bringing up the past??
2007-03-28 15:50:49 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The need for trust arises from our interdependence with others. We often depend on other people to help us obtain, or at least not to frustrate, the outcomes we value (and they on us). As our interests with others are intertwined, we also must recognize that there is an element of risk involved insofar as we often encounter situations in which we cannot compel the cooperation we seek. Therefore, trust can be very valuable in social interactions.
Trust has been identified as a key element of successful conflict resolution (including negotiation and mediation). This is not surprising insofar as trust is associated with enhanced cooperation, information sharing, and problem solving.
2007-03-28 21:57:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
the trust that is lost is lost forever, so the trust that you had may never be again. You can build trust again and in most cases it will take longer to establish the same level that you had before and to reach it you will have to work harder than before. The bringing up of the past will desipate at a rate that it takes you to establish the same level of trust you had when your mistake was more important than the trust held in you. The expectation of the resounding past that unexpected comes around at the most inoppertune times and just when we don't need it is a fault of our own and it was created out of our failure to realize how much the trust really meant to us. It is not punishment but it sure feels like it and while we hate to have to deal with it we must understand that had we not chosen to step outside of the area that provided us protection from this annoying reminder to the point of insanity it is only to remind us that if and when we get to that level again that it will be easy to remember just what the price tag is if the trust is important enough for us to gain it back. It is one of the most unforgiving of learning curves and seems like it will never go away. It might even give greater reverence and selection when using that word as an adjective or believing that its importance is only to gain advantage. To lose trust is as tradgic as losing the security of love, honesty or any of the high value traits that are awarded to us for our behavior.
2007-03-28 16:48:42 · answer #2 · answered by g_menagerie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to change your ways and prove to them that you have changed and over time they will trust you again but this will take time. It is very hard to rebuild and gain someones trust back in you once it has been broken or been betrayed. Over time they will stop bringing up the past but right now they keep on doing it because they are still hurt and have not healed from it yet. You have to give them time to heal and to start trusting you again. Good luck to you:) Tell the person you are truley sorry and ask them to forgive you and hopefully over time they will be able to.
2007-03-28 16:05:38 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To earn trust back in a relationship you have to be able to show the person that you are really sorry and that there is nothing that you wouldn't do to make things right again. You have to be honesty even if they may think different. But in time all wounds heal and just keep being there and let the person know how you feel each and every day. They will have to find it in their heart to forgive and if they truly forgive then they will bring it up less and less.
2007-03-28 15:58:32 · answer #4 · answered by kool aid 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Time.
Time heals all hurts. That's the only thing that can help.
You can do 100 good things to establish trust but it takes only one act to break it. Seems like a 100/1 ratio. So what you do is build it again with another 100 bricks (good things). It takes time to do that. Don't think that it's going to happen overnight, just be patient and continue to be truthful, eventually, it will grow.
2007-03-28 16:18:01 · answer #5 · answered by clayborne112 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you probably did no longer recognize that she cherished him, then she's being unreasonable and you need to tell her so. in case you probably did recognize that she cherished him, and you nonetheless reported confident, i will see why she's unlikely to have faith you. the only thank you to earn somebody's have faith after a mistake is to continuously tutor which you're trustworthy approximately your words and strikes - however the different party must be prepared to have faith you. meaning, she has to forgive you first.
2016-10-01 21:22:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust should be built, it cannot grow overnight instantly.Whatever the past was i am not sure.I hope you do not get humilated and hurt in the process.Everyone needs self respect and if you re losing that, forget the someone where acceptance is a taboo for them.
2007-03-28 16:05:16 · answer #7 · answered by cool_honeybabe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't, only time can heal the pain. If it was bad like constant cheating it will probably never get it back fully. They won't forget how you hurt them no matter how hard they try. I know because I am a person who won't forget and keeps bringing up the past. It hurts a lot that I was done that way plus he treated me like a doormat and not a wife, emotional abuse, threats, blackmail the owrks
2007-03-28 15:58:15 · answer #8 · answered by sdrlover2002 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Time and faithfulness .That's it in a nut shell. No more no less about 2 years worth.
2007-03-28 16:04:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get counseling to work through it, because it appear saying your sorry wasn't enough. And it depends on what was done.
2007-03-28 15:55:50 · answer #10 · answered by walker9842 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋