each of her sisters right? Given that money is not a problem at all. and the reason why you give her a hard time is you say, there are other ppl that can do it, you don't have to do it for everyone. But if you love your wife and she really wants to have a baby shower for each of hers sisters (5) thats 5 baby showers in her lifetime, you would not make her cry b/c of it right? and you would not tell her no she cant. ..would you
2007-03-28 15:50:08 · 14 answers · asked by Alabaster 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because he says its not fair that I do all my sisters' baby showers. See I am the oldest and come from a poor family, I was the only one who had a chance to finish college and some things happened and my other siblings didnt get as lucky as I did however, nobody is to blame individually. Anyways, I love my sisters a lot and wanted to host a baby shower for each even if someone else offered (you can have more than one shower, given that each shower have different guests) and I only would do it for the first kid as is the tradition here. Anyway my husband only lets me have it for one of my sisters which is the first one to have a kid, i don't have kids yet. and he says this is the only shower i can hold ever. he says its only fair. i did try to talk to him like you all say, it turns to a fight.
2007-03-28 17:28:57 · update #1
and even with this shower he gave me a hard time saying its not fair that I pay for EVERYthing and it turns out that one of my sisters is helping out with as much she can, its not half half, but she's contributing like 20%...but when it comes their turn to do a shower, he's not comfortable to let ME pitch in with theirs. anyways
2007-03-28 17:32:57 · update #2
He doesn't need to do that, but you don't need to cry about it either.
2007-03-28 15:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by ushoveit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
“there are other ppl that can do it, you don't have to do it for everyone”
Well, he does have a point and that is how many people (both men and women) would view it. Why should *you* be the only one responsible for doing everything for *everybody*? You have 5 other sisters. Why can’t the six of you *share* the responsibility? Your answer to that determined the course of the conversation. So what was it?
In the overall scheme of things this is not a big deal. It’s certainly not worth crying over. There’s a more mature way to deal with it, so the fact that you were reduced to tears makes me think that you’re very young. A marriage cannot survive without a certain degree of maturity.
If you and hubby cannot discuss something so small in a rational manner, see each other’s point of views, and reach a compromise (it’s not all about what *you* want) then that doesn’t bode well for your marriage.
2007-03-28 23:20:52 · answer #2 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well five sisters is A LOT of sisters, I have 3 and sometimes that seems like a lot. Unless you're a millionare, and if you are then sure why not, but I don't think you should expect him to agree. So if you do these babyshowers, and then they have more children, are you going to do it for every single kid? What if they each decide they want 5 kids too, so that's 25 babyshowers? I think it's a matter of expectancy, are people going to automatically assume you're going to foot the bills for all these things, and they can become expensive.
Also just because isn't a good answer, when you really want to do these special things for them. Talk it over once again, and see, in reality you should come to an agreement if it is about the money. I would love to do this for my sisters, but don't be mean about it.
2007-03-28 23:20:21 · answer #3 · answered by Brandnewshoes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not about whether he loves you--you both need to have a serious talk. Why is he acting like that?
Before taking the role of VICTIM I would talk with him and find out the root of his problem.
2007-03-28 22:54:03 · answer #4 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mentioning one situation, I get the feeling its this way with everything you do...so I hestitate to side with you...I think your partner has good reason to feel the way he does...this just might be the last straw that breaks the camels back of your volunteering your time and his money for.
2007-03-28 23:21:30 · answer #5 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like someone needs a beatin. Next time he starts flappin his gums about something YOU want to do, just stand there holding a frying pan and say, "Oh really?"
2007-03-28 22:55:15 · answer #6 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just clearly communicate those feelings to her and see what she thinks. if money's not problem , than it shouldn't matter. she must really love her sisters and wants to be the hostess with the mostess! just always keep those communication lines open!
2007-03-28 22:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by TrixieStix 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes my husband sure loves me and he would let me do this if i wanted to and he would not even question it. he would not make me cry. No he would not tell me that i cant.
2007-03-28 23:02:37 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only if my wife didn't complain to me later about how difficult it was to throw the shower and didn't ask me to carry things.
make it easy on him - painless. talk to him ask him really what is up with him not wanting you to do it. find out what is his reason.
2007-03-28 22:54:07 · answer #9 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why dosent he want you to give someone a baby shower? Sounds to me that he is a bit controlling...nip it now...if you dont it will get worse...he is not your dad...or your boss so stop letting him treat you like he is...
2007-03-28 22:54:44 · answer #10 · answered by omorris1978 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'd like to see a man tell me that. He'd be crying all right, I'd make sure of it.
2007-03-28 23:01:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋