Problems with wife...how would you handle it?

Question

I've noticed she hasn't kept the house up very well in the past few Months. Also she has been so busy with her job she doesn't have much time to take my calls during the day. I called her at work because I couldn't find the remote (that she lost) her boss told me that she was too "busy" unless it was an emergency. I'm very addicted to 3 shows I really like. I like to eat at 5:30, yesterday we had to eat at 7pm because of something at her work, bla,bla,bla. Her Dad treats me like s**t, he told me to look for the remote in my work boots..ha, ha, he say's that because he knows I've been out of work for 4 years. My mom had to come over to cook the other night...she said the kitchen was completly wrong, so she rearraged everything the right way...then Patty blows a gasket..she was so mad because my mom helped her out! I couldn't believe how angry she got, my mom said she needs to shut-up and learn from her...I agree!! She just seems to be a little lazy when it comes to doing things.

help

Answer 1

I'm just waiting for the comments from the ignorant dicksmacks on Yahoo that will think this is a legitimate post.

Answer 2

I normally stay out of personal questions, but in this case, I must say the following:

Dear God, save us all from men like you.

If your mom does everything right, go live with her. Your wife has a job and you don't; that means cleaning the house is your job. If you can't find the remote, get off your butt and change the channel by hand.

If any woman, I don't care if she was MY mother, came in and rearranged my house, I would blow a gasket. If it is MY house, it is MY house. If you were the primary cook, it would make sense that you decide how the kitchen is set up. However, since you freely admit that you expect your wife to work a full day, then come home and cook and clean, I would strongly suggest you not do any thing else to irritate her. Eventually, she is going to get tired of being used and unappreciated, and leave.

If you cause her to lose her job with your petty demands on her work time, she will just be more likely to do so sooner.

And as far as her dad is concerned, be thankful that he just thinks you are a lazy bum. If I were her dad (or her mom) I would offer to pay for the divorce.

It is your right to be a lazy bum and a jerk, just as it is her decision to stay with you. However, you asked for advice, so here goes.

Get a job or take responsibility for the house and the cooking.
Sit down with your wife and discuss how she feels, and what she would like you to do.
Imagine, if you can, how you would feel if her dad came in and rearranged your TV set up and installed a remote free television. Perhaps that will give you a sense of how she felt with your mother violating her space.
Be thankful each and every day that you have the most patient wife I have ever heard of.
Cut the apron strings.

I could go on and on, but hopefully, you get the drift.

Answer 3

O.K. Here it is. I'm saying this in a nice but Dr. Phil like way.
1st of all, you've already answered the 1st question in the second sentence. You said that she hasn't kept the house up very well in a while - then you said she doesn't have much time to take your calls at work because she's so busy there.
( By the way that's usually the typical response of the boss at pretty much any job - not just hers )

A) maybe she's tired after being so busy at work
B) maybe she's tired of having to come home to a messy house after she's had a hard day
C) maybe she feels you could do more

Now let's go back to you calling her "at work" because you could not find the remote "that She lost", but you were at home while she was at work providing for her family ( for whatever reason)

A) Did you think that was a good enough reason to call her at work? Do you Know some places will Fire you over personal phone calls? Then what? You said that you don't work... Now really...? You couldn't wait until she went on break to speak with her or maybe You could have put the remote in a safe place after y'all were done watching T.V. for the night ( being that you are addicted to 3 shows ) or would that be adding too much more responsibility on your plate?

You had to eat at 7:00 o'clock one evening because of something at work, well..... the nerve of her trying to support her family.

A) If you were hungry enough you would have eaten, even if you had to cook for yourself

Her Dad probably said that because on a real ....
well I'm going to tell you what my father says..
When a man takes his daughter, then Dad expects that man to take care of his Baby-girl ( no matter how old we are, we are always their Baby-girls ) & if you're not doing your part in his eyes...then... well... you aint @!$%. So he treats you like that.And my dad would have told ya a lot more than that!

I think I would have been like your wife had your mom come into my kitchen and because she felt like it was "wrong", ( for her ) rearranged my "D" kitchen the "right way"

A) Who is your mom to say what the right way is, it is not her house (Oh, unless she IS your wife ) What's right for her evidently is not right for your wife. And you are trying to please your wife right?

Lastly, why on earth would you say your mom is right about saying that? Well maybe your wife could learn some things from her about the way you like things, but do you think with that attitude you two are carrying about it she would go to your mother? And to say she needs to shut -up......

Have you read your own question, do you know what that reads like?

So what did you learn? If nothing else....give your wife some credit for the things that she does do.Tell her you appreciate her and the efforts she puts into this relationship.Ask her what you can do to help take some of the load off 'cause you see that she's working hard and that you see that she gets tired and at those times her work slacks off around the house, tell her about your concerns in a non-confrontational way.Sometime when she's running late for dinner, you take the anitiative and fix something for her . Even if you can't cook.Try ! Watch what that does. Then spark these subjects. And don't put your moms before her. You need to think of some good things about your wife and expound on them. You didn't have one positive thing to say about her.The Bible says that when a man finds his wife, he finds a "Good Thing".
It also says that When a man marries, he leaves his mother and clings to his wife. Don't let your mother or anyone else talk about your wife. Good Luck !!

Answer 4

Ummm...I don't know how you were raised, but I think you need to come into the 21st century. Firstly, you shouldn't be calling your wife at work to ask a stupid question like that. Secondly, what your mom did was completely wrong. If i was your wife I wouldn't have just blown a gasket, I would've thrown the dishes across the house, because your wife had the kitchen like she wanted it, and since you obviously don't cook, it should be her way. I have way too much stuff to write to you, but just know that you need to step back and review the situation, because the problem isn't your wife.

Answer 5

You have been out of work for 4 years and your wife is the only source of income... well maybe you should get a cook book, and start reading, or find a job, or grow up be a big boy and make some food. If I came home late, and my husband did not feel like cooking, he knows where the local mcdonalds is and well have you ever heard about the tv buttons they change the channels. YOU SHOULD ******* GET AT JOB AND WORK!!!!!!!
your wife is busy making money supporting your *** so maybe you should appreciate her, and help her out some times. stop being a **** head OH YES and your mother has no right to rearrange YOUR + YOUR WIFE's kitchen its not her **** ... your wife placed things in the kitchen they way that she wanted it .... MAKE YOUR OWN FOOD

Answer 6

lemme get this straight... u've been out of work for 4 years, u like to watch TV while ur wife is out there working her *** off, ad u have the guts to complain that ur dinner is 2 hours late?

the way i see it, if u want the house clean and dinner cooked on time, i say do it urself. ur wife is out there making money, not at home worrying about the dam remote when there are buttons on the damn TV to push.

quit calling ur wife "lazy" for being at work all day and not doing enough around the house.... what do u do for the rest of the day?

Answer 7

If I were you i would take part in what is happening. You say that you have to eat at 5:30 then why the hell don't you fix yourself and your wife something to eat instead of sitting on your but all day! She has been leaving the house dirty to see if you even care to clean it up yourself. Dude don't be lazy help here out as much as you can, She's stessed out and you seriously need to find a job because to me your just a lazy *** free loader! And leave your mommy out of your relatiionship because you sound like an insacure, spoiled, whiny, baby that cant do things for himself, seriously man this is a f-ing joke.

Answer 8

Here's ten points I'll never see....

Stop being a mama's boy. Your wife works. She shares in bringing in income. You can share in the upkeep of the house. If you want your house a certain way YOU clean it. And don't be bringing your mom into this to mentor her. That is not her place. You need to be a man an work it out with your wife and her alone. From what you said, your attitude is the one that is wrong. I hope you heed my advice. Good luck.

Answer 9

Out of work for 4 years, can't manage a TV without a remote, and still hooked on your Mom. This has to be a joke, or she would have kicked you out long ado.. What kind of a man can't manage a TV without a remote ?, You might have remotile dysfubction.

Answer 10

Sounds like the issues are not hers.... you're out of work? All I heard in that paragraph was how SHE didn't do this, and SHE didn't do that, when the truth is, it all sounds like work you are very capable of doing.
Your wife has a job, this is not 1920. You cannot expect her to do all the housework and support your family financially, especially if you aren't working. Get off your butt, stop calling your mommy to come do your chores, and help your wife not resent you so much for being out of a job. You want to eat at 5:30, cook the meal your damn self.

Answer 11

1. remote vs. marriage

which is more important to you? i would just get another one and keep it in a safe place.

2. whose house are you living in? if you are living in your own house i would kick my father in law out. if not you have nothing to say except to ask for respect and courtesy

3. if this house is your in-laws or yours you should have stoped your mom from rearranging the kitchen or anything else.

4. if you want your wife to come home sooner and be more available to you, you should get a job. any job for that matter. i would not care if its working at mcd's or stock boy or valet. a job brings home money to pay the bills and the tv shows you like to watch at home. c'mon dude you can do it.


good luck!