I should explain. My wife cheated on me, ok a one year affair. I filed for divorce & that is where we are at. I love her, but she says she no longer loves me. She wants to raise her new baby that came out of the affair alone. He is not in the picture, his wife didn't like the idea of him having kids behind her back, & since she didn't want me around I filed for divorce. I didn't want one but I didn't want to sit around wondering what was going to happen. We have two boys of our own and we have only been talking during the divorce in order to inform on the boys or during the trade off. Now she has started calling me at work, at home, and whenever else. She is asking me to lunch and tring to talk outside of the kids or the divorce. I am at a loss. I now just want to know how to tell her to go away without it hurting me. I love her and don't want to hurt her, but I filed it is over, and she wants to have everything from the marriage. That is everything but the sex, love, & responsibilities.
2007-03-28 15:18:05 · 10 answers · asked by Bradley F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd tell her that you don't owe her anything. After what she did she is NOT your friend. I appreciate you are being such a good nice guy about this but DON'T back down. You are 100% right no matter how harsh you have to be when you tell her.
Your a good man for wanting to tell her nicely though. I'd be more angry and yelling. I think you need to move on or better yet tell her "My GF doesn't want me hanging out with you and I think she is right"
Even if you don't have one it'll help her get the picture that you are moving on and she can't take advantage of you like she did in the marraige.
2007-03-28 15:25:45 · answer #1 · answered by Jim_atthedrive-in 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the world of divorce, dysfunction, and regret. Although I'm quite confident here is much more to this story, from both perspectives, it sounds as though, 1) your former wife is irresponsible and should never have become married to begin with; and 2) is suffering from a very common case of post-separation regret. She is finding out that divorce, loneliness, and solo parenting isn't exactly what she thought it was going to be. All this aside, if you're looking for advice, since your responsibilities no longer involve her and are limited to your children and yourself... get on with taking care of them and you. No divorce is painless, but some are worse than others, and allowing it to drag on can and probably will add needless agony. You should get on with your own life and be clear to her this is what you intend to do. All you can do is make your position and intention known in a civil and respectful way. If this offends her, that is unfortunate, but not your fault or your problem. She can't have her cake and eat it, too. Good luck, and welcome to the club!
2007-03-28 22:51:44 · answer #2 · answered by Rocket Squirrel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your doing the right thing,but you absolutely have to tell her that right now there is no chance of a friendship or a rekindling of the marriage.It is so hard to do this,Ive been there so i know,just lay it all out on the table and know that your a better person for giving her the truth that she wouldn't give you while she was having the affair
2007-03-28 22:35:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be blunt. Tell her that she made her choice and for you to move on, you can't be a part of her life socially. You can only work together for the sake of the kids, but otherwise she is out of your life. Sounds like she might be having doubts about her choices, but thats not your problem. Take care.
2007-03-28 22:26:59 · answer #4 · answered by Paul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with her. Let her know how hurt you were by her actions. Tell her now you want to move on with your life and that right now you don't see her in it except the kids Mother and your ex. She made this choice so now she doesn't have anyone and she thinks you will play right into her hands.
2007-03-28 22:32:18 · answer #5 · answered by nicolejane68 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, that is not a marriage. that is an affair. you can't be married to someone without responsibility. just tell her to go away. it will hurt you but you will be better off, and she deserves all the pain you can give her for what she did. this is her fault, not yours, and you shouldn't have to suffer for it.
2007-03-28 22:26:11 · answer #6 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick her cheating butt to the curb. she got knocked up from an affair and wants you to be the loving husband of another mans child>? shes way out there..lose thegirl.. plenty of fish in the sea
2007-03-28 22:23:32 · answer #7 · answered by road runner 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Best thing you can do: GET A HOTTIE TROPHY WIFE. That will make your ex kick herself in the rear and help you move on.
2007-03-28 22:23:11 · answer #8 · answered by Joe B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you see what you're saying...?
read & comprehend...
you sound as if you know where you need to be...good luck..
you're fine...don't look back...........
2007-03-28 22:37:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
close your eyes
2007-03-28 22:22:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋