I love my husband, but we haven't made love in 8 months, and before that maybe ever 6 months or so. We are both in our 30's. I am in good shape and I have always looked after myself, I am the same size as when I married him and we have 2 children. Where am I going wrong? I really want to to be close to him again.
2007-03-28 15:05:45 · 19 answers · asked by Molly 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you all of you. Very caring answers. We are both in good health, and there is no other woman in the equation, it's really something I do not understand. Yes I have spoken with him about it but nothing comes from it, but it's now got to the point that I really do not know what to do.
2007-03-28 15:16:57 · update #1
I asked my grandfather: When does sex end?"... to which he quickly responded: "I dunno Mijo, but it's gotta be sometime after 72!"
Realities are, men stop enjoying or lose interest in sex for a variety of reasons:
1) decreased testosterone levels
2) being with same partner over long period
3) other women in picture
4) plumbing weakens- penis is a hydraulic system with valves. At times the system weakens. He should consult a urologist or other MD if he suspects this
5) loss of interesting spouse- spouse ceases to present herself as sensual and appealing via remaining interesting, attractive, a good conversationalist, etc. Man also can become boring, which can result in wife no longer communicating as much.
6) depression or other mental health condition that preoccupies
7) stress in daily life
8) they're starting to think about swimming in the other pool
9) if on meds, do any carry sexual side effects??
10) he may be watching porn and masturbates, thus losing interest in sex with you. Believe it or not, men often prefer fantasy to reality
The reasons for this are numerous, but these are the main ones. I would strongly recommend seeing a therapist quickly... these things have a way of destroying or creating serious problems if they go unchecked. Based on your series of questions on this subject and some of your answers, this seems to be a more critical issue.
G'Luck
2007-03-28 15:14:41 · answer #1 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, something is wrong, no doubt about that! Have you sat down and had a real sincere talk with your husband? This needs to be done yesterday...A man in his 30's did not just stop wanting sex. Of course I cannot truly say what is going on, but he is either having an affair, cyber sex, or something along this line. You must have some idea. You need to dig deeper into what's going on around you. Have the serious talk, and start from there. Good luck!
2007-03-28 22:15:40 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does he act depressed about anything? Maybe he is the one that needs help in areas. Stress can do a lot to a person even a man. Try talking ot him and see how he feels.
ADDED: Sometimes people hide their feelings well. I am not saying you don't know your husband, but maybe he has worries that he doesn't want to worry or bother you with, so he puts on his strong face. Try to be as observant as possible. Look for the smallest little things. My husband was going through something a while back and I had no clue because he put on his happy strong face in front of me. It finally came to the point that he knew he needed to talk and let it out or he was going to burst. I hope what ever is going on, the two of you can figure it out.
2007-03-28 22:11:27 · answer #3 · answered by mom of 2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You got to keep it exciting like you did from jump street. Looking good and being in shape does not constitute sexuallity. It's all about maintaining each others interest. Keep it pimpin like you did when he was into asking you to be his wife. Just because you got the contract does not mean that you don't have to suit up and get in the field. stay with the competitive edge.
2007-03-28 22:38:11 · answer #4 · answered by triple o.g. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start making the effort since you see this as a problem. I would start initiating it more, and maybe he'll finally get the hint that you wanna have sex! Try to be a little more flirty, wear what he likes to see you in, leave dirty messages on his phoen, stuff like that. It' simple! Congrats on not letting yourself go after marriage and wanting to be attractive for your husband! Good luck!
2007-03-28 22:10:27 · answer #5 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you all need to talk. See what is going on with him. is he having problems at work or with family. Is he having physical problems. I know my husband has an ulcer and when he doesnt have his meds for it. Things are different. Is he depressed maybe??? There are lots of reasons but you all need to communicate!!!
2007-03-28 22:15:09 · answer #6 · answered by Simple Life? HAHA 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing you can do is sit down and tell him how you feel, because making love a very important part of a relationship. Don't try to blame it on him or he will shut down and nothing will be resolved.
2007-03-28 22:11:10 · answer #7 · answered by vaye 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You might try reading "Fascinating Womanhood" or "The Surrendered Wife" and practice living in masculine and feminine roles. Sometimes that will bring back the romance in the marriage. I don't agree with everything in those books, but they have alot of good advice for getting and keeping your husband's attention and affection. I think romance begins with emphasizing the male and female roles in a marriage.
2007-03-28 22:16:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would talk to him. Tell him you miss the physical intimacy. How is your other contact? Do you still talk the same to one another or do you have less communication? It could be other things. Sometimes when guys are stressed out their sex drive is not running on all cylinders.
2007-03-28 22:11:10 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is he taking any medication? A lot ot them have that as a side effect. If not, see if you can get him to go to the dr. It might be a simple thing that meds can help.
2007-03-28 22:11:11 · answer #10 · answered by DOT 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋