Ok I took some of the advice from previous questions. But for new comers here’s the story, my mom died when I was 8 I am now 15. Last year we had some neighbors move in to the house next to us. They have a family of six the mom and dad and 2 girls and 2 boys. Well I have been getting jealous of the two girls (10 and 12) because I see everything in their mom that I want in a mom. She takes them shopping a lot, she just sits and talks with them. I really want to be able to just sit down alone with her and tell her how I feel, but it never seems right. She has a family of her own to take care of. she doesn't need to be worrying about me. The neighbors mom offers to take me into town with her and her daughters almost daily when they are just running errands. I turn it down, I don't know why but I just do. I guess I just want her to figure out what I need but it's not gonna happen. So many people have been giving the advice “Go into town with her and her kids.”
2007-03-28 15:02:11 · 13 answers · asked by Truthordarelover 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Even advice, “Just sit down with her while you can talk to her alone.” Well I did go into town with them; her eldest son (8) had baseball tryouts today so I went with them to watch them. So that’s one step closer. But then her other kids decided they wanted to walk to a nearby store, and of course I offered to take them. So we walked to the store, leaving me a step behind again. Another scenario: I got my haircut recently like drastically (I cut off 20 inches.) Well my neighbor’s mom was driving me and her daughter to an activity and she’s all like “So what was your mom’s hair like.” She just asked random questions about my mom. I was surprised by how good it felt to be able to talk about my mom. But I still don’t think that I am much closer to solving my problem then I was before. Anymore advice that could help me out?
2007-03-28 15:02:29 · update #1
The way you guys are answering makes it sound like you think I always act/ look depressed. I try not to put my burdens on other people and I get multiple comments that I am the happiest and most positive person that people have seen. At least that's how it looks to others but inside I'm pratically dying.
2007-03-28 15:43:25 · update #2
Shes a mom, she already knows what you need as a child who has lost her mother. It seems like she is trying to offer you what you want, but you are scared to take it. But I bet she keeps trying, and keeps asking right? Because she already knows. I'm sure she wouldnt mind you talking one on one. Hang in there sweetie
2007-03-28 15:09:00 · answer #1 · answered by SueWithTwo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go into town with them! I'm sure she really appreciates it when you take the girls to one store then she can take the boy where he needs to go ect. Offer to baby sit if they ever need a night out and she will be your best friend! One day if you feel like its right just say I really appreciate it that you invite me into town. It's been hard losing my mom and i am so glad that we are neighbors. She will appreciate it that you aknowlegded her. if you ever feel uncomfortable or like your intruding on them just dont go the next day or something. She ohbviiously feels for you if she has been inviting you. She sounds really nice. I'm happy that you feel comfortable with her! If you dont want to talk to her, a school councelor will happily talk to you. It sounds like you have never come to terms with your mothers death, and if you talked about it you would probably lift a burden and be a much happier person. Tlak to your dad/guardian about a therapist,. You will prob feel alot better. Best of luck!!
2007-03-28 22:25:26 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly Taylor 49 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can def- relate to you. It's had without your mom. I think the reason you feel so jelous of the other girls is because you miss your mom. But you have to realize that your neighbour isn't going to replace your mom. You have a mom. She might not be with you in person but shes in your heart. I think you should try to find a family member like an aunt or cousin that you can bond with. And it's not all that bad if you want to bond with your neighbour too. But i think you need to realize that the mom you had is still your mom.
2007-03-29 19:29:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are on the right track.Just take a deep breath and say that you miss her.You could write the neighbour a letter about how you feel.The neighbour sounds like a nice person.If it was me and the child had lost a mother and I already have a child I would have room in my heart for another young person.Two years ago I lost my mum but she was elderly and very ill and I still miss her.Feel free to contact me.
2007-03-28 23:07:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When i was younger, my mom was the neighborhood mom. Everyone in our neighborhood had lost there mom to either death or divorce. My mom thought it was great to be able to help all these other kids. Just go talk to her. Does she know your mother has passed away? She could probably help you with that.
Just gradually open up to her. You don't need her to be a mother figure right away. but im sure she will open her arms to you.
Trust me, my mom was like that. All the kids loved her and she loved them back.
2007-03-28 22:33:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are on the right path, next time she asks a question about your mom look down, take a deep breath followed by a sigh and say something along the lines of "I miss her" she'll probably ask if you want to talk about it. SAY YES and you two can really connect.
Good Luck
2007-03-28 22:09:35 · answer #6 · answered by caballero5792 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just keep going with them on those errands. Try not to worry or obsess about alone time with your friend's Mom. You'll get a chance to talk with her when you least expect it.
You're a very brave and strong young woman and you will be okay.
2007-03-28 22:16:05 · answer #7 · answered by BOOM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you are right about how your looking for "a mom" but when you say that will never happen (your neighbor being your mom) she might not be your acctual mom, but she could be close. one of my friends lost her mom when she was young and is really close to one of the teachers at my school. they go shopping and talk when my friend has problems. for you it might be able to work out similar, if you hang out and go to town with the family, you could start a friendship w/the mom, and that might help... your not depressed,, you might be upset, but you went through something terrible... and your alwais be sad.. i hop my advice helped.... dunno what else might....
2007-03-29 06:22:00 · answer #8 · answered by Vanessa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well basically all u can do is sit down with her and tell her how u feel when u can get her alone she seems like a very nice women and seems like she would understand how a little how u feel.....good luck and sry about ur mom
2007-03-28 23:19:02 · answer #9 · answered by ♥~Jeff Hardy's babe~♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't really give u any advice becuz i never had to experience losing one of my parents but just keep hanging with her it sounds like u just need someone to talk to about ur mother n u'll be ok n sorry about ur mother
2007-03-28 22:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by britain 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋