Why she does not understand?

Question

Why is it that some people can be so logical in other peoples situations and irrational about them selfs? My girlfriend is always rational and logical in what i should do but, anything with her she will not see reason. I never want her to think i am trying to tell her what to do but, in her life she is irrational. She does or does not do things that will hurt her later. And when I try to explain why she needs to do something she gets angry at me. I do not understand.

Answer 1

Thats cause she can judge from a far...but when it gets to her and what she's going through she can't deal with it cause she runs on emtionsand what if's..I do the samething tooo. I can always see other problems and help then I just cna't help myself.

Answer 2

It is far easier to look at someone else than it is ourselves. We all do it. We've all been the judge and jury to others mistakes, even though we're not always so quick to admit our own. It is a virtue to be able to listen and learn from someone else's suggestions and ideas and it sounds as though you can, but there is an imbalance in the relationship, because she can't and that isn't comfortable for you.

Don't blame yourself, though. That's seems to be the way she is right now. She may have had someone in her past who nagged her so much that every time you try to suggest something, all she can hear is someone nagging her and telling her that she can't do anything right.

If this is the case, there is one suggestion I have that could possibly work. Rather than point out her mistakes or her irrational way of dealing with things, try to discuss them with her. Approach is EVERYTHING. If she doesn't see you as a threat, as in the sense that you are telling her what she should do, and instead sees you as someone who cares about helping her with making her own life easier, she may be much more responsive.

Answer 3

That's why opposite attracts! No, I'm just joking. What you can do is try to paint two scenarios to her each time she does things irrational to let her see from both directions and eventually, she'll be able to see and think things outside the box.

Answer 4

it is some much easier to see someone elses mistakes then it is to see our own because we are not emotionally involved in someones elses.

My friend is the same way. She is able to point out me situations that I come across, but I have to be very careful how to tell her she is making an error. I finally told her you are probably going to be mad at me for saying this but ... and tell her what she is doing and then asking her to just go think about it. Seems to work better.

Answer 5

This is very common actually. Just yesterday I was with my boyfriend looking for a tux for a special occasion. He let me pick it out because I'm very fashion conscious and I really care about how he and I look together although I know that material items such as clothing don't make you happy. We have a very comfortable relationship and we've been together for quite a while. He comes from an average middle class home and has also been taught to be strictly disciplined with his money and that you spend money on only what you need, not what you want. Me on the other hand came from parents that had a relaxed money system and if you wanted it, you almost always received it. He always tells me how spoiled I am and I really want to tell him how much it bothers me but I just say, "Yeah, I was privileged but that was then, and now I'm going to make it on my own." I mean I respect where he comes from in his choices as far as money comes and I believe that he is very rational but he never thinks the same of me. He always insists that I don't need something, but the thing is, the fact that I want it is why I buy it, not because I need it so much. He hates the way I make money decisions so we have come to a general conclusion that maybe could help you. If you're past your teen years and you're serious with this woman, as in living with her, maybe you should develop a system to show that only her choices will effect her. My boyfriend and I are engaged and trying to start living a joint lifestyle but I can't even begin to explain how hard it is to not have his choices effect what I do. So, to fix our problem, we split the bills exactly in half...he pays for half of them with his check, and I pay for half with my check. The rest of your personal money is to be saved, spent, or invested as you like. Of course with my boyfriend he always saves his which is typical of him and I usually save mine too with a few exceptions of a "want only" shopping trip. It frustrates him to see that I still have more money saved than he does but I also make more money than he does. Just let her make her choices, it's not something that you can do for her. Honestly, no one likes to be critisized in thier choices and I'm sure that this is the case with your girlfriend. Sure, men are more willing to take adviced but less willing to ask for it. Women are more likely to ask, but not so willing to recieve. As far as making mistakes goes...you're going to have to sit back for the ride because people only learn from their mistakes. I know it sounds easier said than done but you'll be able to pull through. You don't have to back her in every situation but just trying to point out that she's making a bad choice makes her shut you off. Tell her that you're worried what might happen if she makes a choice, not that a choice is wrong. No one likes to hear that their wrong. Think about that before you come out and say it too bluntly. Sit back, it's what you should do but make sure you say that the consequences worry you, not her decision making skills.

Answer 6

It's difficult to understand such person. You cannot do much about her at the moment. If you push things too hard, it will initiate a quarrel between you and her. She is a bit fixated with her own thinking. Her point of view about herself is different from yours. You may just have to wait for her 'to see what you see.'